Peer Pressure Substance Abuse Sexuality Child Abuse and Family Violence School Safety and Violence Depression and Suicide Nutrition and Health Care Faith and Religion Social and Time Management Career Exploration and Part-Time Work Teen Pregnancy

WHY YOUTH NEED MENTORS The young people of today must cope with far more personal and social pressures than any other previous generation of youth. Early intervention through a structured mentor relationship may be able to give young people the tools and support they need to deal effectively with deal effectively with these pressures. these pressures.

Mentors’ roles fall into four categories:  ƒ Providing academic help and tutoring  ƒ Providing career exploration assistance  ƒ Providing emotional support  ƒ Providing social experiences

 Academic Support  Role Modeling  Attention and Concern  Accountability  Listening

Remember, a mentor may be the ONLY adult in a youth’s life who listens.

There is no expectation that volunteer participants in mentoring programs will take on the roles of PARENT, professional COUNSELOR, or SOCIAL WORKER. But some of their traits will be a part of the mentor’s role:  ƒ Listening  ƒ Nurturing  ƒ Supporting  ƒ Advising

THE ESSENCE OF MENTORING IS THE SUSTAINED HUMAN RELATIONSHIP.

Mentors commit to spending a minimum of four to six hours each month with their youth. Expected Activities:  ƒ Make a point of meeting your youth’s parent(s), early in the relationship  ƒ Attend periodic group youth/ mentor meetings  ƒ Attend periodic Advanced Mentor Trainings  ƒ Attend special events such as Recognition and Awards Event

ƒ Involve youth in deciding how the pair will spend their time together. ƒ Make a commitment to be consistent and dependable – to maintain a steady presence in the youth’s life. ƒ Recognize that the relationship may be fairly one-sided for some time – mentors, not youth, are responsible for keeping the relationship alive. ƒ Call youth before each support meeting or appointment to confirm their attendance and/or their transportation needs. ƒ Pay attention to the youth’s need for fun. ƒ Respect the youth’s viewpoint. ƒ Allow the youth to make mistakes. ƒ Separate their own goals from those of the youth – leave their personal agenda behind. ƒ Do not focus on the negative aspects of the youth, neighborhood, or parents – leave it alone. ƒ Seek and utilize the help and advice of program staff.

 Have difficulty meeting the youth on a regular basis; demand that the youth play an equal role in initiating contact.  ƒ Attempt to transform or reform the youth by setting goals and tasks early on; adopt a parental or authoritative role in interaction with the youth.  ƒ Emphasize behavior changes over development of mutual trust and respect.  ƒ Attempt to instill a set of values inconsistent with those the youth is exposed to at home.  ƒ Ignore the advice of program staff.

The mentor/youth relationship typically goes through three stages:  ƒ Developing Rapport and Building Trust  ƒ Setting and Reaching Goals  ƒ Bringing Closure to the Relationship

Types Of Mentoring: One on One Group Mentoring Social Media Mentoring Peer Mentoring

Children Of Incarcerated Parents

Here is a list of factors that might influence how you plan afterschool activities:  your teaching interests and philosophy  your sense of the kinds of things that appeal to kids of different ages  the experiences you wish the students to have  the time, type of space, and materials needed for any given activity  the number of students  the program budget Afterschool

Child Dynamics: There may be challenges associated with the number, ages, gender, or behavior of the children in your program. Do you anticipate any such problems with the children in your own program that could affect the success of your chosen activities? If so, think about ways to address such problems. Maybe you need to divide the group into several smaller groups, or plan activities that allow for a wider range of abilities. Environment: Are the indoor and/or outdoor spaces you have sufficient for the kinds of activities you would like to do? Are there any constraints of the space that would prevent certain activities? For instance, if you are in a classroom with a rug, will that prevent large-scale painting projects that might stain it? Content Knowledge: Do the activities you want to do require specific knowledge on the part of the kids or the instructors that they may not possess? If you want to build rockets that you can launch, for example, you have to know the building and safety requirements such a project demands. Storage: Are there places you can keep projects that are still 'in the works'? Is there space to store materials and reference works? If children can't leave a project and get back to it in the next session, that will limit the kinds of projects you can consider.

Administration and Staff: How committed is the staff to the goals of the program? Do all staff members feel they have a stake in its success? If the support of the administration or staff is lacking, you need to address the reasons why they are not supportive. Materials: Is there enough money to buy and space to store the materials your activities will require? Time: How is the program time structured, and how will this affect the kinds of programs you can do? For instance, if no session lasts longer than 50 minutes, you will either have to alter the schedule or eliminate activities that take more time to complete.

1. Make your communication positive. 2. Be clear and specific. 3. Recognize that each individual sees things from a different point of view. 4. Be open and honest about your feelings. 5. Accept your youth’s feelings and try to understand them. 6. Be supportive and accepting. 7. Do not preach or lecture.

8. Learn to listen. 9. Maintain eye contact. 10. Allow time for your youth to talk without interruption; show you are interested in what he or she has to say. 11. Get feedback to be sure you are understood. 12. Listen for a feeling tone as well as for words. 13. Ask questions when you do not understand. 14. Set examples rather than giving advice. RULES OF COMMUNICATION (continued)

Mentors should:  ƒ Alert youth well in advance about the ending of the relationship.  ƒ Be prepared for anger or denial; help youth anticipate these feelings.  ƒ Monitor your own feelings: sadness, guilt, relief, etc.  ƒ Use the process as a means to recall youth’s progress and strengths.  ƒ Help youth grow from the process; reassure them about what they have learned and are capable of.  ƒ Discuss positive actions and directions for the future.  ƒ Reassure youth of your confidence in him/her.  ƒ Plan a “fun” final activity together, and follow through on that activity.

Movie night 3 on 3 Basketball Find a feeding program in your community and work with them to get kids involved in your programs Work with your homeless liaison in your school district Work with DHS in your community Work with your local Angel Tree Coordinator from Prison Fellowship Get involved in local youth organizations to help them. Don’t reinvent the wheel.

Questions : Robert H. Holt