COMMUNICATION

Listening Skills Taken from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey Habit 5… Seek 1 st to Understand, Then to be Understood Taken from Skill With People by Les Giblin How to Skillfully Listen to People.

Forms of Communication  Reading  Writing  Speaking  Listening

Seek first to Understand, then to be understood  In other words, listen first, talk second.  You have two ears, and only one mouth.

Poor Listening Skills  Spacing Out  Being caught up in your own thoughts  Pretend Listening  Saying “yeah”, “un huh”, “cool” when the speaker pauses.  You have no idea what they are saying

Poor Listening Skills  Selective Listening  Hearing only the parts you want.  Finding parts of the conversation to use to your advantage to prepare for your “comeback”.  Word Listening  Ignoring body language and tone of voice.  The reason teasing and sarcasm are often misunderstood.

Poor Listening Skills  Self-centered Listening  This person always has a story to “beat” yours. They have been there and done that!  Judging  People don’t want to be judged, they want to be heard.

Poor Listening Skills  Advising  Giving advice before being asked  Probing  Digging for emotions before they are willing to share.

Genuine Listening  First, listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.

Genuine Listening  Stand in their shoes  “Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell”-Robert Byrne  Practice mirroring  What does a mirror do? It doesn’t judge. It doesn’t give advice, It reflects.  Repeat back in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling.

How To Skillfully Listen to People  1. Look at the person who is talking.  2. Lean towards the speaker and listen intently.  3. Ask questions.  4. Stick to speaker’s subject and don’t interrupt.  5. Use the speaker’s words-”you” and “your”.