Deconstructing Thomas Lynch Why good guys sometimes go wrong

“At their best, funerals provide a forum for the healthy expression of grief and faith, family history and forgiveness, witness and remembrance.”

“Funerals define and affirm the changed status of the dead and the living survivors.”

“He had his father laid out [i.e., embalmed, beautified, and placed on display] because he figured that seeing was believing…”

“ Seeing was believing” but people believe in God, faith, and love without being able to see those things in the way Tom Lynch would have us see the body

“…a funeral without his father’s body there [on view] made no more sense to him than a baptism without the baby or a wedding without the bride.”

“baptism without the baby” It is not possible to baptize a baby unless the baby is present for the water treatment

“wedding without the bride” At a wedding, vows are exchanged between the bride and groom, and sometimes rings are exchanged as they are united in marriage

In both a baptism and a wedding, the baby and the bride are human beings, sentient, with personality and spirit–they are the essence of the events

We refer to what is left after death as the remains because we know that the essence of what was a human being is no longer there.

Lynch suggests only two alternatives: 1. Cremation, which quickly disposes of the body by fire, followed by a memorial service, or 2. A funeral, at which the body must be displayed in the way funeral directors prefer

But there is also the funeral, where the body is present, and not on display, which creates an experience different from Tom’s preference–an experience much like the memorial service Ernest Morgan favored

To Ernest, a memorial service was more positive than a funeral because a memorial service focused on the values of the deceased rather than on the prettified dead body

For Ernest, the values become the essence of the person who has died

What Tom Lynch doesn’t say, but knows so well, is that the dead body, prettified and on display, means extra money in his pocket

If we throw out Tom’s “baby” with the baptism water, it will cost him money, and that’s what caused Tom to go wrong $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $