JACKALYN RAINOSEK How to Cope with Grief

Jackalyn Rainosek holds a Ph.D. in Counseling and Educational Psychology from Texas A&M University. Losing a loved one or a close friend is a painful experience. People going through grief could experience various kinds of emotions. Though there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are several healthy ways to process grief, which are included in the following paragraphs. Jackalyn Rainosek completed her doctoral dissertation on Death Anxiety with Medical Personnel, where she provided two different workshops to nursing students from two different universities.

One workshop focused on using the concepts of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. The other workshop focused on the well-researched program by Carl and Stephanie Simonton, and their book, Getting Well again. Both workshops provided powerful ways for nursing students to deal with dying patients, and the grief process. Recommended Post - 5 Practices of High Impact Leadership5 Practices of High Impact Leadership

Elisabeth was the first doctor to provide the steps that a dying patient goes through that could also help the family member or friend. The Five Stages are a clear way of processing through grief. Some of the important things to consider when processing through grief are: In order to deal with grief, you will need to face it and actively deal with it. Ignoring the pain, while grieving a loss, keeps the person stuck, and the unprocessed feeling can later come out inappropriately. Consciously process through the thoughts and Feelings of the Five Stages of Grief

Here are the five stages of Elisabeth Kubler- ross for the dying patient: Denial and isolation. "No not me, it cannot be true." Anger. "Oh, yes, it is me, it was not a mistake. Feelings of anger, as well as rage, envy and resentment. Also, the question: "why me?” It may be the last loud cry, "I am alive, don't forget that. You can hear my voice; I am not dead yet." Bargaining. "If God has decided to take us from this earth, and he did not respond to my angry pleas, he may be more favorable if I ask nicely." I will give my body to science only if the doctors will use their knowledge of science to extend my life.

Depression. Awareness of loss. The stage where preparatory grief is involved. The reactive depression comes first and involves the real lose. Then, comes the preparatory depression--the time of dealing with impending losses. Acceptance. He/she is neither angry nor depressed about the "fate." It is not particularly a happy stage but more often a void of feelings.

The following shows how the family member may feel and experience the Kubler-ross’s five stages of grief: Denial: “This would not be possible that my family member is dying. “ Anger: “Why does this have to happen to her/him? This is totally unreasonable. I feel anger, disgusted, upset, dismayed, etc.” Bargaining: “Maybe if we take them to __________doctor, since the diagnosis may be different with another doctor or maybe ______________hospital or _____________may have another treatment protocol, which can prevent the progression of the disease.

Depression: “We have not been able to find any other answers or approaches to treatment.” The loss then becomes more paramount, and then individual can be in agitated depression or finally process through the painful feelings of loss, and start moving through their depression. Acceptance: This is not resignation. The family member accepts that state of the patient’s disease, and comes to terms with the impending death.

Kubler-Ross talked about the fact that the dying patient and the family member may not move in an organized way through the stages, and may jump back and forth. Getting help from a professional such as Dr. Rainosek can allow the patient and family member to come to a place of understanding and process through their feelings of grief about the impeding loss.

Jackalyn RainosekJackalyn Rainosek had four years of training in Death and Dying with the Elisabeth Kubler, and had the privilege of having personal and professional conversations with Elisabeth. Kubler Ross’s five stages of grief are still a way of understanding the grief process, and moving through grief.