Caregiver Coaching Sylvia Nissenboim, LCSW, Certified Strategic Intervention coach Coaching, Counseling, Consultation

Overview Intros What’s your story? Coaching for healthy communication Caring for yourself Q&A

Perspectives wheel Do exercise, discuss We have a choice.. Tell story of when you thought you couldn’t but did

Developmental Stages- 2 year old Me, me Teen Me, me and NOT YOU (tattoos) Adult Doing, building, fixing Retiree Finding self Giving back Looking forward and back Seeking resolution (or not) Sage Holding on Letting go

3 Critical Steps to Improved Communication Set the stage Empathy & Validation through Curiosity Slow Down, Stop Fixing, What do they think?

Talking TIPS--Setting the stage Be listening for concerns expressed by parent How much does that bother you? Raise the subject and get parent’s intention first from natural openings.. What are your thoughts? What do you think about when you consider a move? If x happened, what would you want, how would it look?

Getting curious What would you like to see different about your current situation? Why do you think we are concerned about your (driving, living alone, safety)?

Empathy statements NOD “YES”….. What about this is the hardest for you to talk about? I see you have a lot of feelings about what ‘might’ happen. I want to do my best to make sure I am following your goal/intentions. I appreciate how hard this is for you. Tell me about it.

When stuck How can I help you? If you were to decide to change, what would you have to do to make this happen? Suppose you don’t change, what is the worst that could happen? Suppose you did change, what is the best that could result from changing?

Resistance Refusing help or your suggestions How did you help your parents? BE CURIOUS How can I be of most help to you? How do you see your situation, now, as it is? If they refuse to see situation realistically, wait until they have an issue, or ask for help.. If you couldn’t live here, for example, where would you want to go? My goal is for you to be comfortable…how can we achieve that?

Topics to consider Legal Financial Housing Driving Health Which resources Legacy wishes/oral history Death and Dying

Making it Happen Ask parent how they see it if….(this becomes your agenda) Coordinate a Family meeting goal to reach consensus who can do what- no one can do it all!! task allocation, resource allocation, support allocation keep parent’s intention the agenda Learn the communication approach to prepare for working thru the change Accept that the final outcome may not be as you had planned it

EXERCISE Partner up, recorder Practice asking, responding Top issue you wrote down Being curious Opening Validation Switch Share

Taking Care of Yourself 22 Practice positive self-talkAsk for help Take care of your own health Set realistic expectations for yourself

Free 30 minute coaching consult Sylvia Nissenboim, LCSW giving giving