Managing Conflict Bob O’Neil Leadership and Career Management Coach BOSTON COLLEGE WORLD-WIDE WEBINARS 1
Agenda for today Explore new ways to become more effective in conflict situationsExplore new ways to become more effective in conflict situations Become more aware of five different conflict management stylesBecome more aware of five different conflict management styles Recognize how and when to use of each conflict styleRecognize how and when to use of each conflict style Better understand how to make appropriate adjustments to become more effectiveBetter understand how to make appropriate adjustments to become more effective 2
What is Conflict? Any situation in which your concerns or desires differ from those of another person. 3
What is Conflict Management? Conflict management is the practice of identifying and handling conflict in a sensible, fair and efficient manner. 4
General Causes of Conflict Poorly defined goals and objectivesPoorly defined goals and objectives Competition for scarce resourcesCompetition for scarce resources Unclear roles or lack of job descriptionUnclear roles or lack of job description Shifting prioritiesShifting priorities Lack of communicationLack of communication Personality conflictPersonality conflict 5
2008 Study by CPP, Inc 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict $359 billion in paid hours 385 million workday 6
Conflict Management Styles COMPETECOLLABORATE AVOIDACCOMMODATE COMPROMISECOMPROMISE 7
Different styles have different goals Competing:Win!Competing:Win! Accommodating:YieldAccommodating:Yield Avoiding:DelayAvoiding:Delay Collaborating:ParticipationCollaborating:Participation Compromise:Middle groundCompromise:Middle ground 8
Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER 9
Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF 10
Avoiding Conflict 11
Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF AVOID lose / lose 12
Avoiding Unassertive and Uncooperative When to use: Issue is trivial Issue is trivial Little can be gained Little can be gained Know when to postpone Know when to postpone Avoid emotional conflicts Avoid emotional conflicts You know your limitations You know your limitations Allow others ownership Allow others ownership 13
Avoiding Unassertive and Uncooperative When to use: Issue is trivial Issue is trivial Little can be gained Little can be gained Know when to postpone Know when to postpone Avoid emotional conflicts Avoid emotional conflicts You know your limitations You know your limitations Allow others ownership Allow others ownership Be aware of? Perception that you don’t care Allows conflict to simmer Hope is not an effective strategy 14
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Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF COMPETE win / lose AVOID lose / lose 16
Competing Assertive and Uncooperative When to use: Quick, decisive action is needed Unpopular action must be taken Issue is vital and the right course is clear To protect against people who take advantage 17
Competing Assertive and Uncooperative When to use: Quick, decisive action is needed Unpopular action must be taken Issue is vital and the right course is clear To protect against people who take advantage Be aware of? Can be aggressive and confrontational Relationships may be damaged May encourage others to use covert methods 18
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Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF COMPETE win / lose AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win 20
Accommodating Unassertive and Cooperative When to use: Yield to a better position Concede, when appropriate Make a sacrifice when it’s important to others Creates good will and keeps the peace Low importance 21
Accommodating Unassertive and Cooperative When to use: Yield to a better position Concede, when appropriate Make a sacrifice when it’s important to others Creates good will and keeps the peace Low importance Be aware? May result in a false solution to problem May be seen as a “martyr?” Reduced creativity It’s exhausting 22
Compromising 23
Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF COMPETE win / lose AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win 24
Compromising Intermediate in assertiveness and cooperation When to use: When practical and pragmatic Quickly achieves an expedient solution Issues less important, but not vital Back-up when other styles fail 25
Compromising Intermediate in assertiveness and cooperation When to use: When practical and pragmatic Quickly achieves an expedient solution Issues less important, but not vital Back-up when other styles fail Be aware? Becomes a pattern of taking the easy way out Reduces creative options Can be seen as being “indecisive” Can be seen as not wanting responsibility 26
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Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF COMPETE win / lose COLLABORATE win / win AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win 28
Collaborating Both assertive and cooperative When to use: For important issues Reconciling interests using win-win approach Merging insights for richer understanding Gaining commitments Improving relationships 29
Collaborating Both assertive and cooperative When to use: For important issues Reconciling interests using win-win approach Merging insights for richer understanding Gaining commitments Improving relationships Be aware? Takes time and commitment All parties must be engaged Use on most important issues 30
Conflict Management Styles COOPERATION / CONCERN FOR OTHER ASSERTIVENESS / CONCERN FOR SELF COMPETE win / lose COLLABORATE win / win AVOID lose / lose ACCOMMODATE lose / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win COMPROMISE win / lose lose / win 31
Six Steps in Conflict Resolution Clarify what the disagreement isClarify what the disagreement is Establish a common goal for both partiesEstablish a common goal for both parties Discuss ways to meet the common goalDiscuss ways to meet the common goal Determine the barriers to the common goalDetermine the barriers to the common goal Agree on the best way to resolve the conflictAgree on the best way to resolve the conflict Acknowledge the solution and responsibilitiesAcknowledge the solution and responsibilities 32
A set of skills for demonstrating that you understand the thoughts and feelings being communicated from the speaker’s frame of reference. LISTE LLIISSTTEENININGNGLLIISSTTEENININGNG 33
Levels of Listening Nonlistening 34
To Tell My Story Nonlistening Levels of Listening 35
To Agree or Disagree To Tell My Story Nonlistening Levels of Listening 36
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” For Understanding To Agree or Disagree To Tell My Story Nonlistening 37
For more information on Managing Conflict Thomas Kilmann Conflict Management Styles at kilmanndiagnostics.com Thomas Kilmann Conflict Management Styles at kilmanndiagnostics.com The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreements Without Giving in by Roger Fisher and William Ury Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreements Without Giving in by Roger Fisher and William Ury Dale Carnegie Conflict Resolution in the Workplace Guide (free download at dalecarnegie.com) Dale Carnegie Conflict Resolution in the Workplace Guide (free download at dalecarnegie.com) 38
Q & A Submit questions to Bob in the “Questions” section of your webinar dashboard.Submit questions to Bob in the “Questions” section of your webinar dashboard. 39
Contact Information Bob O’Neil Leadership and Career Management Consultant (508)