1 Recognizing and Overcoming ENERGY VAMPIRES April 11, C Coaching & Consulting Sharon Mylrea Claudia Orvis

2 Workshop Objectives Recognize and identify personal “energy vampires” Understand the physical, emotional, personal and work-related impacts of being bitten Develop realistic goals and expectations for effecting positive change Discuss tools for increasing positive energy Identify strategies for dealing with energy-draining situations Create a personal action plan Discuss best practices for organizations

3 What’s an “energy vampire”? A person whose behavior drains emotional energy from others A person/situation that leaves you feeling exhausted, unfocused, depressed, apathetic … What are your symptoms? Physical, mental, emotional? What situations/behaviors are your personal vampires? When are you most susceptible to energy vampires?

4 Recognizing an “Energy Vampire” Complains without solutions Drama queen/king Victim mentality Negative outlook on life Paranoia/conspiracy theorist The biggest, surest sign is how YOU feel when interacting with them!

5 Impacts of being bitten… Drains energy, enthusiasm, creativity Lower productivity Cynicism Paranoia, fear, suspicion Headaches, pain Avoidance Apathy Taking it out on others

6 Realism vs. Pessimism …

Let’s be realistic !!! We Can’t … Control every situation Control others’ behaviors Always get what we want We Can … Choose our response to a situation Choose our reactions Our behaviors Our words Our body language Choose our attitudes 7

8 Here’s your garlic … 1. Circle of Influence 2. Being Proactive

9 Circle of Influence

Reactive vs. Proactive STIMULUSRESPONSE 10 STIMULUSPAUSE – Make a CHOICE! RESPONSE

11

12 Increasing Positive Energy Recognition – identifying vampires Reduce contact Set boundaries Listen to understand Self-awareness Consciously look for more of what you want Maintain positive focus – like attracts like Focus on solutions (instead of complaining)

13 Vampire Slayer Strategies … Act and think positively. Say, "Now tell me something positive”. Say, “Let’s identify some solutions”. Make it a rule to only hang out with positive people. Don't give away your energy. Energy vampires will often avoid people who don’t give them any energy! Understand the difference between a problem and a gripe. Remember that you are not responsible for others’ attitudes, issues, problems.

14 Challenging Scenarios… Scenario One: You are assigned to a “do nothing” committee and the leader often acts like an energy vampire. Scenario Two: You work directly and daily with an energy vampire. Scenario Three: A major portion of your work is BORING. Scenario Four: Your regular staff meetings turn into major complaining sessions.

15 My action plan … Specific behaviors, immediate actions!

16 Am I an Energy Vampire? What’s my impact on others? What does my body language say? How can I be more self-aware? How are people responding to me? Have I directly asked for feedback? Is my self-talk, attitude and/or behavior draining my own energy?

17 Best Practices in Our Organizations … Recognize and reward positive behavior Encourage optimism Focus on solutions Be a role model Use groundrules Communicate success stories Raise awareness by discussing behaviors

18 24C Coaching & Consulting Claudia Orvis Sharon Mylrea We believe that life should be lived in passionate pursuit of one's dreams. Unfortunately all too often we leave our talents, and those of the people we lead, locked in a box and placed on a shelf. At 24C, we believe that you hold the key to releasing your talents and realizing your dreams - all you need is someone to ask the right questions and provide the right tools that will allow you to build on your strengths to create your own success!