Changing Culture Time to Stop Bullying

Addressing Bullying Behaviour Bullying is never acceptable. It is not a normal part of growing up. And it does not build character – Only trust, acceptance, consistency and safety builds character.

3 Where do we start ? Practice Culture Responses Address Bullying

Policy Partnership Working Building positive Relationships Role Models Anti Bullying Charter Mark Human Rights Culture

The anti-bullying policy should be the net that holds together all the strategies, procedures and practices related to anti- bullying work. Culture/ Policy

In your groups look at the handout ‘Notice to all children’ -What are the messages being communicated to children and young people who are attending this organisation? --How many of these messages are being communicated in your organisation and how? Group Exercise

Bottom Up – The wider organisational community should be involved in all aspects of policy development Joined Up - Look beyond institutional and policy boundaries and link together as many policies and initiatives as is relevant Innovative and Creative – This involves questioning the established way of doing things, encouraging new and creative ideas and where appropriate, making the established ways work better Culture/Policy

Inclusive – Takes account of the impact on everyone directly or indirectly affected by the policy and meets their needs Reviewed and Evaluated – Considered as a ‘living’ document which needs to be constantly reviewed Learns Lessons – A good policy making process should learn from past experience of what works and what does not Culture/Policy

Anti Bullying Policies should highlight What the organisation means by ‘bullying behaviour’ A recognition of different forms of bullying What steps the organisation are taking to ensure that the culture is positive, respectful, caring and open. It should detail the rights and responsibilities of all members of the organisational community. Including management, staff, parents, children and young people Culture/Policy

And detail What will happen when a concern about bullying behaviour is reported or observed? What support mechanisms will be in place for all those involved in incidents? Any recording or monitoring processes? Culture/Policy

Implementation Any policy is only as good as its implementation. Involve Children and Young people and the wider organisation community in it’s implementation and ensure that everyone knows what the policy really means to them Culture/Policy

Building Positive Relationships –Respect, embrace difference, negotiate, socialise –Restorative practices Role Modelling –Children will model their behaviour on what they witness Partnership Working –Addressing bullying should be a joint responsibility Culture

Young Carers Dedicated young carer development worker team

Definition of a Young Carer

What do Young Carers do? Varies depending upon… Nature of illness or disability Level and frequency of need for care Structure of family unit

What do Young carers do? Practical tasks – e.g. cooking, housework Budgeting – e.g. collecting benefits Physical care – e.g. lifting Personal care – e.g. dressing, washing Give medication or physiotherapy Ensure safety Look after younger siblings Provide emotional support

Case Study Sarah is 13 years old Sarah lives with her Mam and sister Sophie who is 3 years old. Mum suffers from Bi-polar. Sarah’s Mum receives treatment for bi-polar though struggles with her medication. When she is on a good day the family functions well and Mum is able to take the girls out to the park and have fun, she cooks their meals etc. however when she is struggling she often stays in bed, closes the curtains and hides from the rest of the world. What effect do you think this has on Sarah?

Case Study Continued…… Sarah was often worried about mum when she wasn’t with her, this meant that she was often distracted in school, tired and unable to concentrate. When Mum was unwell she was unable to set boundaries for Sarah, which meant she often stayed up all night on her computer. Sarah often felt anxious as she didn’t know what she would be coming home to. Sarah worried that her sister wouldn’t be getting properly looked after when mum was low, so she was often late for school from getting her ready and giving her breakfast, she didn’t want to get in trouble for being late so mum told her to just stay off for the day. This became a regular pattern. When Sarah did go to school she began to get bullied as she stood out as being different, she became increasingly isolated and felt alone. Sarah was scared to tell anyone as she thought social services might take away her little sister.

How being a Young Carer impacts on a young persons life Problems at school – e.g. not completing homework Isolation from other children Lack of leisure time – e.g. sport, socialising Feelings of resentment and anger towards the person they are helping Feeling alone and that no one else understands Problems moving into adulthood – e.g. finding work, relationships

Recognising Young Carers Young Carers are often hidden, especially when they care for someone with an addiction or mental health difficulty. Think ‘Whole Family Approach’ – Are there any dependant children within the household. Early Identification. Recognising Young Carers is everybodies responsibility.

How you can Support Young Carers Signposting to Sunderland Carers’ Centre. Information and support for families. Recognise and value their role. School Card – available in sencondary schools. Support for young carers within your setting.

Why Young Carers are often Bullied They often stand out e.g. more mature than their peers, unkempt or unable to concentrate. They don’t always have the stability at home to be taught how to deal with a situation so it can spiral out of control. May lack social skills Bullying culture makes it Accepted – we need to break this cycle!

Clear Communication Policy and responsibilities Who to go to What their response will be Consequences Practice What do children need to feel safe ?

Training Awareness raising Practice Draw me a Bully – What do they look like? Get clued up – understand some of the terms used on social networking sites

Questionnaires Bullying Boxes Environmental factors Practice

Pledge Peer mediation Playground buddies

Consequences As with all forms of poor behaviour ensure that the whole community know what the consequences are. Get young people to think about ‘Values’ and friendship rather than ‘Rules’ Practice

Do not panic and keep an open mind Your initial response is vitally important Listen – give the child your full attention, what do they want you to do? Find a comfortable place with no distractions Response Show you’ve listened

Let the child know bullying is never acceptable; they deserve to feel safe Gently encourage them to talk, finding out what happened, who was involved, where and when - write it down if that helps Keep the child involved and up to date on progress Response

What about the child who is bullying? Deal with the behaviour in the same way as you would with any type of challenging behaviour Listen and take time to discover the reasons for the bullying Do not label the individual or group as ‘bullies’, name the behaviour Be prepared for a strong reaction from parents and carers and children and young people Be prepared to address prejudicial attitudes that may be behind the bullying behaviour Address what’s happening behind the behaviour, even when the bullying has stopped Response

Summary Each of us, as an individual and part of an organisation, need to take responsibility in recognising this behaviour is taking place. We can’t see it as someone else’s responsibility, or as an acceptable part of growing up and we must all do something about it. Response