Communication Principles from Verderber and Verderber Chapter 1

Communication is Predicated on the Past We learn language We learn rules of behavior We all have our own “canned plans” of scripts we draw upon when confronted with specific situations. Not all scripts we use are ideal. . . . BUT We CAN learn new scripts.

Why do we communicate? To Share Meaning To meet Social Goals To Manage our Personal Identity Barnlund’s six selves To conduct our relationships

Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles) Interpersonal Communication is Continuous It may not be intentional Nonverbal communication is analogical Verbal communication is digital (or discrete) Interpersonal Communication is Transactional

Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles) Interpersonal Communication is unavoidable, unrepeatable, and irreversible. Interpersonal Communication is situated (contextual) Interpersonal Communication is indexical We measure our relationships at particular points in time. (Trust, Control, and Intimacy) Meaning is in people, NOT words!

Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles) Communication Contains both Content and Relationship Dimensions Interpersonal Communication Messages Vary in Degree of Conscious Encoding A. Ritualized communication: Phatic (used to convey a pleasant social mood; Have a nice day!) Daily Rituals B. Technical communication Communication is a Series of Punctuated Events.

Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles) Communication Involves many Channels A. Mass Media B. Interpersonal Media C. Mixed media Communication varies in the level of Media Richness Communication is Historical

What makes Social Media Different than Face to Face? The temporal structure is different: F2F communication happens in real time (synchronous) It allows for asynchronous messages The media lack many social cues of conversation It’s less media rich in some ways. Lean Rich Bulk Mail Letters, Email Facebook Telephone Skype Face to Face Posters Texting, Twitter

Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication (Principles) *Interpersonal Communication often presents Ethical Challenges. Ethical communicators. . . are Truthful and Honest? have Integrity (or are consistent in their beliefs or actions) are Fair act with Respect to other points of view are Responsible for their actions demonstrate Empathy for others The Dark Side also affects interpersonal communications.

Come to the Dark Side! Dark Side messages occur when we fail to use appropriate or ethical behavior We don’t always act ethically. Q1: Why? Q2: Should we always act ethically? Q3: Are there consequences for doing so? Q4: Do you use scripts (or canned responses)?

Strange Situations Your brother spends a lot of money on his car, the problem is, he spends your mom’s money, not his own. He buys a new set of rims for the car and asks you if you like them, how do you respond? Your best friend is in a verbally abusive relationship. Your friend’s partner constantly uses degrading language. Your friend tells you that they might move in together, what do you say? Your friend Monica has a birthday coming up and asks you not to say anything to her husband about it because he forgot it the previous year and she wants to see if he remembers it. Q1: Do you tell him anyway? Q2: If you don’t and he forgets, what do you say to your friend about him?

Don’t go to the Dark Side! Appropriate Inappropriate Bright Side Hard Dark Side Unethical Ethical Easy Dark Side Evil Dark Side

Interpersonal Competence Is a perception by others that your messages are both Effective AND Appropriate Effective messages achieve the goals of the interaction (the instrumental purpose of the message) Appropriate messages conform to the social, relational, and ethical expectations of behavior.

Generalized Personality Types Concern for self Concern For Others Steamroller Aggressive Personality Winning is Everything (I win, you lose!) Diplomat Cooperative Personality Relationships are important but so are personal needs (I win, You win!) Getting what you want Ineffective Effective Accommodative Personality Relationships or more important the personal needs. (You win, I lose) Doormat Recluse Abrasive Personality I lose, therefore I will make sure you lose too! Roadkill Appropriateness of Communication Style

Ways to Improve Competency (this is the focus of the upcoming chapters) Acquire Interpersonal Communication Knowledge Work to increase your emotional intelligence (rhetorical sensitivity) Increase Your Skills Micro-skills sets include learned message templates with a specific interaction purpose. Active vs. Critical listening Paraphrasing (to verify understanding) Praising Describing behaviors Describing feelings Use these skill sets to develop or modify your skill scripts.

Ways to Improve Competency (this is the focus of the upcoming chapters) Be Motivated to Demonstrate Competence Understand the benefits to you AND others Be willing to UNLEARN old/ineffective scripts and create new ones. Develop Behavioral Flexibility Develop Improvement Plans (Page 25) State the problem State the Goal Outline a specific plan for reaching the goal Identify how you will know you have reached the goal

Understanding Social Media and Interpersonal Communication Social Media are those highly accessible technologies that facilitate communication and interaction Do you agree with this definition? We use digital communication to manage our personal identities. Our “social network” consists of people we know and are connected by friendship, common interests, family ties, beliefs, or knowledge