When adult children reject their Christian parent’s faith…

Part I From the following verses, what principals do we derive pertaining to raising children in the Lord?

Indeed, there is not a righteous man [includes moms and dads] on earth who continually does good and who never sins. – Ecclesiastes 7:20 – Ecclesiastes 7:20

Principal 1 There is only one type of parent, those of us who fail. We are imperfect, have made mistakes and sinned at many points in our parenting.

The Biblical names: Noah, Jacob, Eli, Samuel and David

Principal 2 Often the spiritual heroes in the Bible failed at passing the torch. One’s faith in the Lord isn’t enough; one needs a plan to increase the chances of the next generation embracing Christ.

All that generation also were gathered to their fathers; and there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel. - Judges 2:10

Principal 3 Without a plan, the tendency is for the next generation to reject the prior generation’s faith. (Example: When your car is out of alignment it may tend to pull to one side.)

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6 - Proverbs 22:6

Principal 4 Godly parenting can influence children in spiritual matters to accept God’s ways. Remember: Proverbs are principals not absolutes. Remember: Proverbs are principals not absolutes.

They said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.“ - ACT 16:31

Principal 5 Fathers have tremendous spiritual influence on their children, that is why one of God’s titles is heavenly father.

For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments. – Psalm 78:5-7 – Psalm 78:5-7

Principal 6 Parents teaching their children God’s ways is an integral part of bringing them to Christ.

Brethren, my heart's desire and my prayer to God for them is for their salvation. – Romans 10:1 – Romans 10:1

Principal 7 Prayer is the most effective tool we have in begging our Father to do whatever it takes to bring our children to the Lord. Prayer is the most effective tool we have in begging our Father to do whatever it takes to bring our children to the Lord.

Part II Some personal observations from thirty years in the church…

1. I believe that most children raised in a Christian home at some point will have a mild to severe case of prodigal son / daughter syndrome.

2. In our high school department there are approximately 500 students to about a 100 in the college group. What happened to the other 80% of college kids who no longer attend? In addition, the ages of are the most notably absent from church. In addition, the ages of are the most notably absent from church.

3. There is a difference between children mimicking their parent’s faith (like all other religions) and having a salvation experience. 3. There is a difference between children mimicking their parent’s faith (like all other religions) and having a salvation experience.

4. The Amish approach in separating from the world is unbiblical and dangerous. 4. The Amish approach in separating from the world is unbiblical and dangerous.

5. Some of the greatest Christian leaders have come from dysfunctional non- believing families. Example: Josh McDowell 5. Some of the greatest Christian leaders have come from dysfunctional non- believing families. Example: Josh McDowell

6. Sometimes, growing up in a Christian home, going to a Christian school and attending a good church is a determent. It is not unusual for these kids to dislike their church. 6. Sometimes, growing up in a Christian home, going to a Christian school and attending a good church is a determent. It is not unusual for these kids to dislike their church.

7. The flipside. In the later years, there is a higher percentage of older Christians who had Christian education in their youth (Sunday school) than not. 7. The flipside. In the later years, there is a higher percentage of older Christians who had Christian education in their youth (Sunday school) than not.

8. I believe that it is best to start giving more and more freedom to a seventeen year old as they can handle it, than wait until they are nineteen. If they are going to fail, I would rather have them fail when I am around to catch them rather than when they go off to college where I will have limited involvement in their life. 8. I believe that it is best to start giving more and more freedom to a seventeen year old as they can handle it, than wait until they are nineteen. If they are going to fail, I would rather have them fail when I am around to catch them rather than when they go off to college where I will have limited involvement in their life.

Part III Torch killers…

1. Legalism 1. Legalism If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” Colossians 2:20-21

2. Children not being taught how to refute the non-Christian Worldviews (i.e. apologetics) 2. Children not being taught how to refute the non-Christian Worldviews (i.e. apologetics) See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. Colossians 2:8 Colossians 2:8

3. Hypocrisy 3. Hypocrisy The story of Ananias The story of Ananias and Sapphira and Sapphira Acts 5:1-11 Acts 5:1-11

4. Dysfunctional families 4. Dysfunctional families The story of Jacob and his The story of Jacob and his twelve sons twelve sons Genesis Genesis 29-50

5. Raising your children to be happy rather than to know God and do right 5. Raising your children to be happy rather than to know God and do right

6. There has been a cultural change toward 6. There has been a cultural change toward narcissism evidenced by: narcissism evidenced by:  Focus on careers and wealth  Marrying later  Having fewer or no children  Living together without the commitment of marriage

7. Bad fathering 7. Bad fathering

Part IV Torch passing…

1. Prayer 1. Prayer

2. Living a 2. Living a Christian life in Christian life in front of your children. front of your children. Most of what they will Most of what they will learn is caught not taught. learn is caught not taught.

3. Transparency 3. Transparency

4. Christian 4. Christian community community

5. Bless your 5. Bless your children children