FIGHTING WORDS n It is what you say u it triggers what they hear u it helps them set their minds

Habitual, Conditioned Responses n Gender -Men and women use language differently men cherish independence women cherish trust women cherish trust n Culture- each culture imprints different pictures for the same intangible words

Words translate into pictures n emotional responses n memories

Word Selection – “Languaging.” n There are choices between words in every situation. n Choosing words that communicate the “spirit” of your meaning is an art. n Being aware of the intrinsic meanings attached to each word helps one make better word choices.

The Word Exchange n The following words and their less emotional counterparts are offered for your consideration. n Read the headline word and consider the reactions each engenders. n Then consider learning to replace that word with one or more of the alternatives.

Always n sometimes n often

Wrong n not what I would do n different

Bad n uncomfortable n interesting

Hate n don't understand n do not enjoy

Should have n Next time

Stupid n interesting n different

This is how it is n What if we?

The problem is n Here's what we could do n As I see it

Listen to me! n Consider this, Please

You Said n I heard n I think you said n Did you say?

No! n Oh. n Oh. no thank you. n Have n Have you considered? n Thanks n Thanks for thinking of me and …….. n Not n Not at this time. Thank you.

Yes, BUT n Please n Please consider n No n No thank you n NO, n NO, I don't think so.

But n And

Don't let me catch you State what you want to happen

You never n seldom do you

Problem n Opportunity n Challenge n Situation

Can't n Won't n Can't YET

Try n Depend on it!

They said n Be specific

You! n Human Beings n Many people n I have been known too

We'll see n Yes n No n I am not sure

Later n Pick the time

We tried that already n Last time we learned....

It’s too complicated n n We need to break this down to simpler tasks

It will never work n We ‘re the only ones who could possibly make this work.

I can not get to it right now! n We are on the same team and I promise I am doing everything I can to get to you

Why did you n What reaction were you expecting when you

Bored n Make different choices

Should n Next time

Don’t n People can’t don’t do tell them what you want to have happen not what you DON’T want to happen.

Failing n F –finding n A –an n I – important n L –lesson n I –inviting n N-needed n G-growth

Languaging IS a choice n Use your words to maximize your effectiveness. n Remember it takes a 21 days to make or break a habit and changing your word pattern will not occur overnight. n But you can do it!!! Good luck.