期中考试作文讲解 2014.11.21. Wrong sentences There are a number of students rely on parents to pick up them. There are a number of students relying on parents.

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Presentation transcript:

期中考试作文讲解

Wrong sentences There are a number of students rely on parents to pick up them. There are a number of students relying on parents to pick them up. There are a number of students who rely on their parents to pick them up. If we are always depend on our parents, our self-care ability will reduce. If we are over-dependent on our parents, our self-care ability will be weakened.

Structure

说明写信的目的。 I am writing to give my advice on the current phenomenon that some students rely on their parents to pick them up by car. Recently, I notice that there is a sharp rise in the number of parents driving cars to pick their children up after school. I am writing to you to show my concern and offer my advice. I am writing to draw your attention to the increasingly serious problem that more students rely on their parents to drive to pick them up after school.

列举这种行为的不良影响 As far as I can tell, completely relying on parents to pick us up has disadvantages / may do great harm to students’ development. It makes no sense / There is no need to rely on our parents to pick us up on the way to school and back home It is no good relying on …… Picking up kids by car does show parents’ concern and deep love, but it also has (exert) bad influence on kids’ development.

学生自理能力下降 Depending too much on parents (being overly dependent on parents ) has a negative influence/impact on students’ self-care ability. Picking children up by car doesn’t turn out a good choice since children’s self-care ability may be lost / reduced / weakened. Convenient as it may seem, relying on parents is not always a good idea. Those who are picked up in parents’ car lack a good self-care ability, which may influence their future life. Driving to pick children up is not a good way to show parents’ love. Rather, it may give rise to the weakening of children’s self-care ability.

私家车对环境的污染 The frequent use of cars gives rise to air pollution. Not only does the gas that cars give off ruin our health, but also pollutes our environment. Besides, the overcrowded parking places in front of our school contributes to the heavy traffic. As we citizens are pursuing a low-carbon life, driving private cars when not necessary seems rather unreasonable because the more cars in use, the more pollution it will cause. What’s more, the traffic jam will worsen the road condition.

提出你的倡议 call on sb. to do sth. propose / suggest that … should do… As this phenomenon grows more common day by day, I think it’s the proper time to make a change. If possible, please put up some slogans of environment protection in your paper, which may arouse the eco- friendly awareness in students. Besides, it couldn’t be better if some articles calling on students to be independent are added to your content. Finally, I do hope with joint efforts, we can put an end to the phenomenon.

As too many parents pick up their children by their cars, I’m writing this letter to you in order to show my concern and offer my advice. I don’t suppose it a good way as it may result in students’ lack of self-care ability. At the same time, as we citizens are pursing a low-carbon life, driving private cars when not necessary seems rather unreasonable because the more cars in use, the more pollution it will cause. What’s more, the traffic jam will worsen the road condition. As this phenomenon grows more common day by day, I think it’s the proper time to make a change. If possible, please put up some slogans of environment protection in your paper, which may arouse the eco-friendly awareness in students. Besides, it couldn’t be better if some articles calling on students to be independent are added to your content. Finally, I do hope with joint efforts, we can put an end to the phenomenon.