Difficult Conversations and the Art of Negotiation Wednesday 11 th November Based on work by the Harvard Negotiation Project and by David Armstrong Copyright of CIHM Duncan Ross

Group working needs to be based on common interest.. Our interests Your Interests … but not identical interests - different individuals, professional groups and departments will differ. The critical thing is to determine the overlap and how to work on it together.

Difficult work, difficult conversations In any working group, especially in pressured situations such as emergency care, there will be some conversations which feel much more difficult than others, even when the basics of common purpose and good relationships are in place. These are the conversations we try to avoid, or, at best, the ones we go and have in private, in corridors or pubs There are three types of conversation that we typically find hard to deal with in groups at work: –the contested conversation (there are strongly held opposing views about a matter of principle or planned future action) –the upset conversation (one party or group has done something - or continually does something - which has angered or saddened the other) –the bargaining conversation (one party or group wants something that the other is reluctant to give)

When things get difficult, we often focus on the wrong things I look at what is DIFFERENT between us - what is exclusively yours or mine I don’t take time to define the interests we have in common (and it takes time) I make assumptions about how you see the world - and assume it’s the same way as me! Or, if you are not like me, I stereotype you into a corner. So how can we avoid getting stuck in our difficult conversations ? The crucial thing is to learn to shift your perceptual position

Negotiation: The ‘bargaining’ conversation For when they won’t do something you want them to

5 principles of negotiation Know your BATNA Invent OPTIONS for mutual gain Insist on objective CRITERIA Separate the PERSON from the problem Focus on INTERESTS not positions

The first rule of negotiation : Focus on the problem not the people IT ! If the problem IS the relationship, tackle that separately The Goal

2. Interests and Positions Differentiating between interests and positions: The last orange  Justification: argument supporting a position  Utilisation: explanation of an interest

Focus on interests not positions Why ? –Positions get entrenched (and often personal) –Interests can be compatible even when positions seem opposed –Asking about interests makes the other party feel listened to How ? –Ask what they really want to get out of this –Tell them your needs - make them come alive –Recognise interests are often pretty simple (security, belonging, sense of control etc) –Ask ‘How can we BOTH get our interests met ?’

Objective criteria for starting the negotiation Fair standards There are a number of ways of deciding what is ‘fair’ –precedent –best value –split the difference –what a court would decide –reciprocity Fair processes If the process feels fair, the other party is much more likely to engage with it –how do others do this ? –who needs a say - ?vote, ?consensus –let a third party decide –take it in turns

Invent NEW options - together If you are getting stuck, you need some new options - and it’s best to create them together New options do not include ‘the position you came in with but reworded’ ! Be creative - base possibilities on interests not positions Don’t assume one party has to lose - there could be a win-win-win Make it easy for them to choose Remember, it’s up to you to help them save face

Know your BATNA The BATNA –Always know your best alternative to a negotiated solution - i.e. what will you do if you can’t reach agreement –This is especially important if the person is more powerful than you –Examples : do it alone or with someone else, remove yourself from this relationship, appeal to a higher authority

What if they use dirty tactics ? 3 types –stonewall (flat ‘no’ with no alternative, delay tactics, escalating demands) –attack (personal attack, threats, good guy/bad guy) –manipulation (phoney facts, ambiguous authority, partial disclosure) Pause, don’t react Name the game - use humour if possible, be firm if not Try to go focus back on the problem Use your BATNA