INTIMACY AND INTERDEPENDENCE Part One: The Great Myth “I’ll Be Intimate With You, If You Give Me What I Want And Need” Rev. Daniel Gowan, LCDC, LPC-S Dina Hijazi, PhD, CSAT, LSSP

Our Hunger for Connection

Definitions: Intimacy : the state of being familiar, a state marked by closeness or warmth, a state marked by emotional closeness, a state of being very personal or private Pia Mellody’s definition: in-te-me-se in- to-me-(you)-se

Synonyms: Faithfulness, affinity, love, fellowship, closeness, chumminess

Antonyms: Aloofness, Coldness, Distance, Withdrawn, Indifferent

Types of Intimacy: 1. Intellectual 2. Physical 3. Emotional 4. Behavioral 5. Social

Boundaries Containment Boundary Protection Boundary Loving others Loving Self Communication Rule # 1 (the only rule) Whenever someone is speaking, they are telling you about themselves

Hula Hoop Review

Wants and Needs: What is the difference between wants and needs? Who is responsible for my wants, who for my needs? The Covert or Implicit Contract: What I want and need…… is for you to become what I want and need!

The Practice of Intimacy Talking to be known without attachment to outcome Listening with curiosity without defensiveness When I saw (or) heard you………I made up….....And about that I feel………

VALUABLE Self Esteem Do you feel Less Than or Better Than?

VULNERABLE Boundaries Are you Too Vulnerable or Invulnerable?

IMPERFECT Reality Are you Rebellious or Perfect?

DEPENDENT Wants and Needs Are you Too Dependent or Anti-dependent?

SPONTANEOUS Are you Out of Control or do you Control Others?

Thank you for your attention! Rev. Daniel Gowan, LCDC, LPC-S (972) 267-2800 Daniel@DanielGowan.com Dr. Dina Hijazi, PhD, LP, CSAT, LSSP (214) 437-6605 Dina@DrDinaHijazi.com