FRIENDSHIPS & PEERS H236 Adolescent Development

The plan… Understanding the structure of peer groups/friendships Benefits and Risks of Peers/Friends Paradoxes in adolescent friendships Boys and intimacy Popularity/social competence and adult outcomes Given what we know, what do we do?

It [peer influences] just escalates in middle school. I spend a lot of my time doing mediations. And students can’t be focused in class because they’re at odds with somebody else and usually for very insignificant reasons. But they’re big to them. They are small matters, in the course of life, but they are big to them and [they are] totally consumed with what everybody else thinks and what everybody else is doing. 7 th grade teacher

The Organization of the Peer World: Methodology Sociometrics: a research method in which students rate the social status of other students Social Skills: qualities most often associated with popularity and unpopularity Unpopularity: Two Types 1. Rejected 2. Neglected Aggression is NOT always associated with unpopularity Controversial students, high in aggressiveness, may be strongly liked AND strongly disliked by different people Being unpopular reduces their chances of inclusion in the kinds of social interaction that would help them develop social skills

Structures of Peer Context Crowds and Cliques… What are they? How are they distinguished? Seen in middle and high school Why then? What elicits them? How do they function? Dyads: Reciprocal nominations (or not) Friends “more or less” like themselves They become more similar over time The transition to middle school disrupts friendships Even if they go to the same school

Benefits of Friendships Meet instrumental/emotional needs Confidante, intimacy, love (different from romantic love and family love) Minimizes physiological reactions to stress Support, help, protection Cognitive needs (stimulation, shared experiences, activities, ideas) Provide and affirm standards and expectations Identity Processes Affirmation and encouragement Discouraging some behaviors, beliefs, attitudes Solano, 1986 Mcdougall & Hymel, 2007 Adolescence: Loyalty, commitment, genuineness are key

Risks of Friendships What about peer pressure? Is peer pressure real? How do peers influence each other?

..and I think whether or not you do good in middle school really depends on who you hang out with. 7 th grader I think that middle school is like filled with a whole bunch of drama and a whole bunch of mess 7 th grader In elementary school, everybody’s race was equal, and now… 7 th grader There are racist people here. Well, not in this room, but in this school. That’s what really bothers us 7 th grader My mom always tells me that I’m judged by the company I keep. So, she tells me to chose who I hang out with, don’t mix with the wrong crowd

Peer Pressure/Friend Influence The Assumption that peers actually pressure kids into dong things… Hence “just say no” campaigns. Very few teens report direct pressure How does it happen?

Peer Pressure/Friend Influence Peers Model Behavior Most popular are most influential Models from “aspired” group more influential Normative regulation/sanctions Gossip, teasing Understanding common accepted behaviors Subtle messages of approval/disapproval Structuring opportunities Providing occasions and contexts to engage in particular behaviors. Most often, no one is “pressuring” youth to do certain things. They choose to do it, based on the impressions they want to make

Paradoxes of friendships 1. More sociability/acceptance in adolescence  poorer outcomes into adulthood 2. Boys want greater intimacy in their friendships but they lose it over time.

1. Social Benefits of Risky Behavior “Your daughter’s friendships are a double-edged sword— they’re key to surviving adolescence, yet they can be the biggest threat to her survival as well” Queen Bees & Wannabees Allen et al., article. Autonomy vis-à-vis peers  long term success but difficulty developing friendships Being a desirable companion  greater problem behavior and alcohol use in adulthood, but positive relationships

ool-at-13-adrift-at-23/?_r=0 “To be truly mature as an early adolescent means you’re able to be a good, loyal friend, supportive, hardworking and responsible,” Dr. Allen said. “But that doesn’t get a lot of airplay on Monday morning in a ninth-grade homeroom.”

2. Loss of intimate Friendships among Boys Boys and men are supposed to be “activity oriented,” not emotional Instead they talk about sharing secrets and talking They believe intimate friendships was essential to their mental health But they find sustaining these relationships to be difficult Adolescence is a time of profound loss of intimate friendships for boys But they want them…

What are they losing? Social and emotional support A trusted confidant and safe place Opportunity for nonromantic physical touch that reduces physiological responses to of stress Vasopressin versus testosterone in the context of stress V. induces feelings of connection and positive social interaction T. suppresses testosterone. Why are they losing the relationships??

Some say intolerance, homophobia, hyper-masculinity Poteat, Espelage, & Koenigh (2009) N= 20,509 Given how cliques and crowds serve to shape behaviors and attitudes, Given that middle schoolers are still early in honing their identity, Heterosexual males may especially shy away from outward affection for boys

In 4 groups… 1. How do we help boys navigate masculine messages, when intimacy is needed and desired? 2. How can schools and other social contexts help youth manage to get the best of both worlds – strong peer relationships while still autonomously resisting peer influences.

In the end… Youth direct their own development as much as peers and friends shape their development. Adolescents’ social worlds are complex…but having 1 good friend will buffer the bumps on the road As a culture, we discourage boys from having close, intimate relationships that ultimately will benefit them