1Chapter 6: Love

 Self-acceptance  Acceptance by one’s partner  Appreciation of one another  Effective communication  Commitment 2Chapter 6: Love

 Realistic expectations  Common interests  Collaborative decision making  Ability to deal with conflict effectively 3Chapter 6: Love

 Love means  Knowing the person  Caring about the person  Having a responsibility toward the person  Having respect and dignity for the person  Accepting imperfection  Growth for both people in the relationship 4Chapter 6: Love

 Pseudo-love may look like authentic love, but it stifles growth  One whose love is inauthentic  Attaches strings to loving and loves conditionally  Is possessive  Depends on the other person to fill a void in life  Needs to be in charge and make decisions for the other person  Lacks commitment 5Chapter 6: Love

 The duplex theory of love developed by Robert Sternberg contains two parts:  The triangular subtheory of love refers to love’s structure: it is composed of one or more of these three components: intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment  the subtheory of love as a story refers to love’s development Chapter 6: Love6

 Romantic love as an attachment process :  Parent–child relations play an important role in establishing secure attachments in adulthood  A secure dispositional attachment style was associated positively with compassionate love for one’s romantic partner  An avoidant-dismissing attachment style was negatively associated with compassionate love  Anxiously attached individuals experience conflicting pressures on commitment Chapter 6: Love7

 Myths and misconceptions about love  Love is eternal  Love implies constant closeness  We fall in and out of love  Love is exclusive  True love is selfless  Love and anger are incompatible 8Chapter 6: Love

 Technological advances have the potential to enhance relationships, but they can also become a barrier to meaningful connections  Texting, tweeting, and checking on your smart phone can hinder intimacy in relationships that really matter to you  If you are frequently with others who are distracted by technology, how connected to them do you feel? Chapter 6: Love9

What are common fears associated with loving others and being loved?  Fear of isolation  Fear of being discovered  Uncertainty of love  There are NO guarantees 10Chapter 6: Love