“Using Assertive Communication” Christina James, LCSW, MPP UIC Medical Center, Dept of Psychiatry July 9, 2014

3 R's : Reflect, Refresh, Renew * Reflect - Ice-Breaker - Write down main purpose for attending session * Refresh - Content - Experiential activities * Renew - Closing - Memory minute into goal setting Our Purpose Today

Symbol Guide: = Refreshing Experiential Learning Activity = Verbal Reflection = Written Reflection

Today’s Agenda: I.Introduction II.Four Styles of Communication: Passive, Aggressive, Passive- Aggressive and Assertive (Video) III.Common Fears about Using Assertive Communication IV.Assertiveness Skill: DESC V.Assertiveness Skill: Active Listening VI.Closing

Be Fully Present. No Food or Phones. Hands = High Five + Peace Sign 2 B4 Me Experience Discomfort & Non-Closure. OUCH + Snaps! 24 Hour Rule Respect Time. Use our Tools. Index Cards = Goal Setting, etc. - CPS Arts Department, 2014 Agreement

1.) Hands raised for questions 2.) Peace sign fingers = Our quiet sign 3.) Talk time = 2 minutes 4.) No food or phones during session 5.) Index cards 6 Housekeeping Reminders

Written Reflection Written Reflection: 1) What is your greatest strength as a communicator? 2) What would you like to change about your communication skills? 7

Video Discussion + Worksheet 8 II. Four Styles of Communication Four Styles of Communication: Passive Aggressive Passive-Aggressive Assertive

Partner Verbal Reflection: Which communication style from the video and discussion do you feel you use the most? 9 Verbal Reflection

Written Reflection: What are your fears, concerns or reservations about using assertive communication? Suggestion: think of a particular scenario or person in which/with whom you have trouble communicating assertively. 10 III. Common Fears about Using Assertive Communication

IV. Assertiveness Skill: DESC DESC (Bower and Bower) Describe, Express, Specify, Consequences Followed by: Continued Assertive statements: “It sounds like what you’re saying is...” “I hear what you’re saying.” “Broken Record” 11 Verbal Skill

IV. Assertiveness Skill: DESC Prior to using DESC: Take several deep breaths. Make sure you’re in a mood to be able to maintain assertive communication throughout the conversation. Non-Verbal Aspects: Calm posture and body language. Normal tone and volume of voice. Nodding head, not interrupting. 12 Non-Verbal Skill

IV. Assertiveness Skill: DESC Your examples! Role Plays in partners. 13

V. Assertiveness Skill: Active Listening 14 Today we’ll focus on listening skill of “Restatement.” Restatement: simply saying what you heard the other person say.

V. Assertiveness Skill: Active Listening 15 Today we’ll focus on listening skill of “Restatement.” Restatement: saying what you heard the other person say. Ex. A parent says, “You told me my child was going to learn _____ this year in school and they didn’t learn anything!” You say, “It sounds like you’re upset that the school year didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped for your child.” Verbal Skill

V. Assertiveness Skill: Active Listening 16 Non-verbal skills that demonstrate you’re actively listening: Eye contact Eye brows Facial expression Posture Non-Verbal Skill

V. Assertiveness Skill: Active Listening 17 Put it together: Practice DESC and Restatement in partners

Renew – Goal Setting: What 3 strategies/ideas/concepts will you take away from this session? Set one specific goal for yourself regarding assertive communication. 18 VI. Closing