Money Advice Scotland Annual Conference & Exhibition 2016 Crieff Hydro, 2 nd & 3 rd June 2016

When Debt & Relationships Collide Jennifer Graham & Betty Elliott

Workshop Outline 3 Context in Scotland Stigma, stress and conflict How can you support your clients more effectively? Overview of services Free resources

What does debt do? If relationships are… OR If relationships are… 4

Debt in Scotland in excess of £20,000 per head of population Household debt to reach £2.551 Trillion 2021, average household debt £94,481 (Office Budget Responsibility) 1 in 5 seek help 1.25 million people destitute in UK 2015, including 300,000 children (JRF) Financial difficulty & counselling 55% from 28% previous year Higher risk groups Impact on children Family functioning & breakdown Context 5

Emotional, physical and mental health and wellbeing Ability to participate in society Cope with uncertainty and stress Cope with ill health, loss and change Create family and social stability Achieve and sustain employment Skills for learning, life and work. Relationships Matter 6

Attachment patterns & Implications 7 Secure: Appropriate and comfortable in relationships, even in times of uncertainty and stress Insecure: -Anxious Resistant /Pre-occupied Needy and insecure - Anxious Avoidant /Dismissive Overly independent and self-reliant -Disorganised /Fearful Needy but non-trusting

Stigma

Stress & Our Brain (1) Reptilian Brain (2) Limbic System (3) Neocortex 9

Conflict 10 Criticism Contempt

Conflict 11 Defensiveness Stonewalling

What do you see? What don’t you see? Actions & behaviours Change Implications for your role? Financial Difficulty & Relationships 12

13 Meet Kate

The Spark Services years of relationship support Services for clients - Children & Young People - Relationship Helpline - Relationship Counselling

The Spark Services 15 Services for practitioners - Scottish Mental Health First Aid/YP - Relationship First Aid (RFA) - Helpline Skills Training - MSc Relationship Counselling Free Resources

Age 16+ Freephone Communication & Arguments Stress Parenting Separation Health Finance/Debt Housing etc. Relationship Helpline 16

Relationship First Aid © 2 day experiential programme Front line workers, practitioners and professionals Blend of theory and skills practice to: – Identify early signs of relationship difficulty – Think about early childhood attachment – impact on relationships – Recognise the damage done by stigma, judgements, stress and conflict – Develop your skills to open up the conversation with confidence.

Relationship First Aid © 240 Early Years Participants (Scottish Government 2015/16 funded) 94% had a better understanding of how childhood attachment impacted upon relationships 97% agreed that they had improved skills to open up conversations 98% were better able to recognise the early signs of conflict 96% were better prepared to de-escalate conflict 98% would recommend this training

Resources