Unit 3 A taste of English humour

Listen to Part 1. THE SOTRY OF THE DRUKEN CHICKENS

Mary Smith looked at the beautiful ____ plums. They would make lovely jam. When she had _______ the cooking, she filled all her ______ jam jars and left the ____ of the jam in the pan. She would put it in the _______ when it was ______. But just then the telephone rang, Listen again and fill in the blanks. ripe finished empty rest fridge cooler

her mother was in ________ after a car accident. Mary picked up her ____ and ran out of the house. Some days later, her ________, John, came home from a business _____. He had been travelling all day and ____ like having a drink and a piece of _____. As he came into the _______ he saw a pan with a dark red _____ inside it. hospital bag husband trip felt cake kitchen mess

He lifted it up and _______ it. It smelled bad. Mary must have _________ to clean this pan, he thought. So he _______ all the jam into the chicken yard and _______ the pan. Then _______ comfortable, he began to eat a piece of cake. smelled forgotten poured cleaned feeling

Listen to Part 2.

When Mary ________, she noticed the chickens behaving ________. They were running around the ____ as if they were ____. She saw the dark red mess on the ground and went ______. When she saw a plum stone she went into the kitchen. Her husband was reading a __________ at the table. _______ Mary rushed up to him. Listen again and fill in the blanks. returned strangely yard sick closer newspaper Angrily

“You threw away my jam,” she _______. “ Oh, that’s what it was,” he said. “ I’m sorry but I ________ it was porridge which had gone ____ in the hot weather.” “ Good heavens!” said Mary. “That must be the jam I ____ in the pan, but why didn’t you ______ it in the _______?” John laughed. shouted bad left dustbin throw thought

“It was a _______. However, the chickens have enjoyed the jam, ______ that it has made them ______. What are we going to do with these drunken ________?” mistake expect drunk chickens

WHO ’ S TAKEN MY SHIRT? Listen to the text.

Long ago there lived a poor ______, Peter and his wife. One day a friend gave them some _______ and they put them on the floor. At midnight a _____ broke into their house. It was very _____. The wife heard a _____ and whispered, “Peter … Peter … Wake up. There’s a thief in our ______.” Listen again and fill in the blanks. couple potatoes thief dark noise house

Peter was ______. Thinking that the thief might have a _____, he did not want to make him _____. So he said, “Be quiet! It must be a _____. There’s no thief.” So his wife went back to ______. The thief found the potatoes on the floor. Having no bag to ______ them, he took off his shirt and _______ it on the floor. clever knife angry mice sleep carry spread

As he was ________ up the potatoes to put them on his shirt, Peter _______ took the shirt away and ____ it under the bed. He did not want to ____ his potatoes. The thief did not know his shirt had _____, so he put the potatoes on what he thought was his shirt. ________, when he tried to pick them up he could not do so. picking quietly hid lose However gone

As he was looking for his shirt, Peter’s wife _____ up again and shouted, “Peter. There is a thief in our house.” Peter became very angry. He _______, “I’ve told you there’s no thief in our house.” _______ this, the thief became _____ angry too. “Who _____ there’s no thief?” he said. “If there’s no thief in this house, then, who’s ______ my shirt?” woke shouted Hearing says taken very

WHO SHOULD OWN THE DOG? Listen to the text.

One day a _______ was walking along the road. It was a lovely ______ day. The sky was blue and the _____ were singing in the trees. The teacher felt happy until he saw ____ boys, standing around a thin and _______ dog. It looked very Listen again and fill in the blanks. teacher sunny birds five hungry

frightened and the teacher felt ______ for it. So he _____ the boys what they were doing _____ the dog. “Oh,” said one of the boys. “We were just ________ who should take the dog home and look _____ it. We all want it for a ___ but only one of us can have it.” sorry with asked deciding after pet

The teacher asked _____ they were going to choose the ______ of the dog. “Well,” said another boy. “We’ve decided that the one who told the ______ lie should have him.” At this the teacher became very ______. He began to talk to the boys about truth and ________. owner biggest angry how honesty

He continued for ____ minutes while the boys listened ________. Then he ended by saying, “And I _____ told a lie when I was your age.” There was a long ______ as the boys looked at the teacher and then at ____ _____. They seemed to agree _____ what he had said. ten carefully never silence each other with

The teacher was _____ that his words had __________ the boys. Then the _____ boy spoke again. “After what we heard, we think you _______ have the dog!” glad impressed should first