Temperaments in children Mrs. Flora Sackey

Understanding is core in parent- child relationship Temperament Every child is unique Proverbs 22:6-Train up a child according to “his way” Hebrews Bible Version Understanding your child

What is Temperament? It is a combination of in-born traits that influences our behaviour. Every person is a strange mixture of strengths and weaknesses Strengths Special talents or abilities we have,and the things we do or don't do that make others happy with us. Weaknesses Things that make others unhappy with us

Types of Temperament Sanguine – Popular and Happy child – Care free, loud, talkative – Funny (Concert person) Choleric – Powerful – Strong willed child Melancholy – Perfect – Sensitive child Phlegmatic – Peaceful – Quiet child ExtrovertIntrovert

 Popular and happy child  Playful  Care free, loud, talkative  Funny (Concert person) Sanguine

Warm, lively and friendly Warm, lively and friendly Very helpful and Sympathetic Very helpful and Sympathetic Giver and likes sharing Giver and likes sharing Fun loving Likes to make people happy YOUR TEXT Forgives easily Forgives easily Apologises quickly Strengths of Sanguine

Weakness of Sanguine child Exaggerates and forgets quickly Playful and likes lying Undisciplined Follows the crowd and has short attention span Distracts to get attention or feign surprise Restless and poor study habits

Approval 1 Attention 4 Acceptance 3 Affection 2 Sanguine-Emotions

Sanguine-Managing the children 1.The children don’t mean to be bad. They just forget to be good. 2.They need constant attention, supervision and approval in order to realise their potential 3.Teach them discipline without wiping out their joyful spirit 4.They make friends easily and are not selective who they befriend. Watch their friends closely for bad influences. 5.Easily susceptible to pedophiles,homosexuals and lesbians. 6.They perform better through words of encouragement than yelling,criticism and constant spanking.

Choleric  Powerful and strong willed  Dynamic and Energetic  Determined and hardworking  Forceful and Controlling

Strengths of the Choleric Child Point 1 Natural leader and organiser Point 2 Ambitious, loves work and adventurous Point 3 Confident, bold, courageous and reliable Point 4 Assertive and competitive

Bossy Domineering Weakness of Choleric child Controls friend Likes to control everything Proud and disrespectful Quarrelsome and bully Questions authority 123 4

Requires praise and compliment 1 Requires loyalty 4 Sense of achievement 3 Sense of control 2 Choleric-Emotions

Choleric-Managing the child (1) 1.They are born leaders and seek to control others and situations. Usually class prefects or team leaders. They don’t feel obliged to make friends or keep them. 2.Difficult to manage. They react to situations the way they feel and it could be misconstrued as disrespecting parents and elders.They just have a difficult temperament. 3.They love work and look out for work to do in order to get praise and acknowledgement. They are competitive. 4.They have the highest energy level of all the temperament. If you appreciate them, they will be handy helpers. Their performance is linked to the level of praise and acknowledgement.

Choleric-Managing the child (2) 5.Let them know they will NEVER be great leaders by being bossy and pushing people around. 5.Give them something to control but make sure it's not you. 5.Every time you beat them, deep inside they are happy they got you to act the way they wanted. It’s a type of control. 5.When ever two or more choleric meet,it doesn’t take long for them to clash or fight.

Melancholy  Quiet, shy and reserved  Brilliant and very intelligent  Naturally gifted in music and art  Struggles with mood swings  Genius in the making

Intelligent and good student Intelligent and good student Deep thinker and analytical Deep thinker and analytical Creative Caring and self sacrificial YOUR TEXT Punctual hardworking reliable and considerate Punctual hardworking reliable and considerate Well organised and very neat Strengths of Melancholy

Weakness of Melancholy Mood swings and anti socialIndecisive and insecurePoor self esteem, timid and fearfulTouchy and inflexibleAnxious and worrying 6 Very petty

Silence 1 Space 4 Sensitivity 3 Support 2 Melancholy-Emotions

Melancholy-Managing the child 1.Child feel things deeply and is easily hurt. Very important to encourage them to talk about their feelings. 2.They make friends cautiously. Loyalty is a trait they take seriously. They require a great deal of trust to open up and share. 3.Parents need to encourage the child to be positive and thankful to God. 4.Child worries a lot, takes things personal, very personal and can bottle up things for years.

Melancholy-Managing the child 5.Don't compare him/her unfavourably with other siblings or friends. They don't forget any negative word, humiliation and maltreatment. They easily feel rejected. 6.They want everything to be perfect, idealistic and sets standards

Phlegmatic  Peaceful and calm  Extremely quiet  Kind, soft spoken and good listener  Respectful and easy going

Calm, cool and gentle Calm, cool and gentle Respectful, Good listener and soft spoken Respectful, Good listener and soft spoken Peaceful Kind and balanced YOUR TEXT Easily satisfied and content Reconciler Strengths of Phlegmatic child

Weakness of Phlegmatic child Quietly Stubborn Lazy and slow Indecisive and indifferent Likes to sit on the fence Likes to procrastinate Unmotivated

Peaceful and quiet 1 Respect 4 Lack of stress 3 Feeling of self worth 2 Phlegmatic-Emotions

Phlegmatic-Managing the child (1) 1.Other children walk over them because of their love for peace. They also go to their aid. 1.Show them how to make decisions at a very early age. Help them to make their personal choices and praise them even if you have preferred or alternative choice. Indecision is a serious weakness 1.Let the child know it is good to be a nice person but they must have a vision and goal

Phlegmatic-Managing the child (2) 4.God has a plan and purpose for each child. We are not in the world to be spectators. 5.Involve them in decision making especially goal setting. 6.Phlegmatics have great need for peace. They can become ill in the face of conflict or contention. Find out if someone is oppressing him/her at school. 7.Controlling the phlegmatic with a heavy hand will overwhelm him/her and might get them depressed.

Survival Kits for Children

Background Food, shelter and clothing Economic cost Emotional implications

Available Responsible Encourages Nurture s Teaches Meaning of Parent Personal Friend

Emotional Needs  Unconditional Love  Significance  Security

Unconditional Love 1.Every child's greatest need is to be loved. 2.Physical touching: kissing, hugging, patting. 1.Verbal communication: “You can do it”, “you are wonderful”, “great job”. 2.When the children are starved of love and ignored, they look for love at the wrong places.

Expression of Love 1.Acceptance 2.Friendship 3.Availability  Good listener  Accessible even after punishing kids  Personal interest  Spending time  “Girls and their fathers” vrs “Boys and their mothers”

Significance Children expect their parents to treat them with dignity, respect and honour as they grow. Parents need to respect their views and choices.  Entering their room without knocking.  Entering the bathroom to pick up an item without knocking.  Shouting at them to clean up their room.

 What is allowed and not allowed must be defined.  Separate action from their person when they make a mistake  Don’t be too busy so that your child becomes a stranger in the house  Give them yourself and not things  Be firm but fair. Don’t punish as if they are your co-equal.  Let them know you love them but dislike their poor habit and behavior.  Avoid being passive  Leaving children often with relatives, neighbours etc creates insecurity Security Creating an ambience to let the children relax and feel at home. Daddy's girl and Mummy’s boy when poorly handled creates envy, bitterness among the rest of the children for life.

Menace of House helps  Running the house and making decisions. It gives them the opportunity to take over the house.  Maltreating children when parents are away but pretend to be caring and loving when parents are home.  Some introduce children to early sex, even lesbianism and homosexuality. Some houseboys rape the girls but they fear to report.  Many parents stay out of the home for economic reasons. The invariable pay for the social implications later in life.

Pray for and with them Pray till they accept the Lord Praying Word of God Power of Holy Spirit Good Health and Long life Untimely death, accidents Emotional and psychological needs Wrong influences and bad friends Physical Appearance Spiritual LifeCharacterProtection Areas to Focus Psalm 144:1-2, Sam 2:26 Luke 2:40

Class room (class work, professional and technical exams) Pray throughout exams Productive citizens Serve in church or community Serve in their generation Live a life of hope, healing power, love, freedom Impact of western influence's Pray away wrong spouse but pray for future spouse Pray away bad character traits and ask God for divine guidance Spiritual warfare Physical Appearance EducationSocial LifeFuture Marriage Areas to Focus (2) Isaiah 11:2 1 Sam 18:14 Luke 2:40 Isaiah 60:22

Thank You and God Bless You