* ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS Why date? What are characteristics that you look for that may lead you to date someone? Can you explain your expectations for dating? Relationships

Would you talk to your parents about your romantic relationships? YES – My parents give me great advice NO – There is such a thing as TMI ( too much information) MAYBE – I guess they could teach me something How would you define a healthy relationship with: - Parents - Family - Friends RESPONSIBLE RELATIONSHIPS

What make a relationship healthy? Communication & Sharing Mutual Respect & Support Honesty & Trust Negotiation & Compromise - Negotiation – talking until you agree with each other - Compromise – each person gives up a little bit of what they want until both persons can agree Separate Identities How do you know you have a healthy relationship with someone? - You feel good about yourself when you are with that person - You think that BOTH people work hard to treat the other well - You feel safe - You like being with the other person - You feel you can trust him/her with anything *

* PARENTS and FAMILY Parent as disciplinarian or friend? - Which do you feel is better? Why? - PROS/CONS of disciplinarian vs friend Suggestions for handling change at home with parents/siblings - Talk to your parents about their expectations of you - Find out what is acceptable and questionable - Clearly explain what you think/feel to your parents - Trust, respect, responsibility - Responsible compromise – no lines in the sand - This relationship will constantly change – all need to change with it

RELATIONSHIPS WITH FRIENDS * Factors influencing relationships in High School * - Peer Pressure ( positive & negative) What is the difference * - Popularity - Athletics * - Cliques - Clubs/co-curricula * - Bullying - Where you live/Bussing * - Similarities - Lunch table * - School schedule - Technology(texting, facebook, twitter) * - Gender

* Tech 7 Ways to know if Your Friends Really Care About You *They want you to be happy *They listen and care about what you have to say *They are happy for you when you do well *Apologize to you when they make a mistake *Don’t expect you to be perfect *Give you advice in a caring way *Keep personal things between you -TRUST TECHNOLOGY – how do smartphones, texting, sexting, twitter, Facebook, etc impact/influence relationships?

DATING * Why do we date? * When do teens start dating? * What are parent’s perceptions of dating (son vs daughter) * What can be some concerns of parents? * How would you define a healthy dating relationship? * Components of a good relationship? * Bad relationship?

Sexuality and Dating *Important Personal Information *Know your own body *Know what you think you are ready to do (how far) *Your comfort zone *How will you feel later? *Understand your gender and preference *Why are you dating this person? *When does sex become a part of the relationship? *How do you define sex? *Do you understand birth control? *Do you know what STI’ s are and how they are transmitted? *Do you know how to decrease the risk of transmission? *What are the short & long term ramifications of being sexually active as a teen? *Impact on your reputation? *Impact on your family? *Does it affect your relationships? *How will you feel afterward?

4 Questions to Answer (WebMD) * 1. Are you ready to go out? * 2. Do you really like this person? * 3. Is he/she right for you? * 4. Will my parents let me go out? Refusal Skills * Always saying “yes” to avoid conflict can have serious consequences: * Being pressured into things you don’t want to do * Losing respect for yourself & your boy/girlfriend * Being treated unfairly or taken advantage of * Feelings of powerlessness, anger, depression

How to defuse uncomfortable situations: * “NO” “I don’t want to” “ I am not comfortable with that” * Other options include: * “I would like to, but I really have to do _____instead * “ I don’t want to get into trouble” * “ I’m not ready for that yet” * “ How about _____instead” * Respect for your partner makes these comments easy… unwanted pressure should not be part of a positive relationship

Dating Violence * Defined as physical, sexual, psychological/emotional violence – includes stalking * In person or electronically - current or former partner * Adolescents & adults often unaware teens are experiencing dating violence * Video Video * About 1 in 5 women & 1 in 7 men first experienced some form of partner violence between ages 11 & 17 ( CDC Behavior Report 2011) * How has the use of Smart phones, texting, and electronic media contributed to forms of dating violence?

What are the Consequences of unhealthy, abusive or violent relationships * Likely to : * Do poorly in school * Report binge drinking & increase in drug use * Physical fighting * Carry patterns of violence into future relationships * Why Does Dating Violence Happen? Teens receive messages about how to behave in relationships from: * Peers * Adults in their lives * Media * Their partners

Ways to Prevent Dating Abuse * Talk to someone – do not keep it a secret * Get away from a relationship as soon as it becomes uncomfortable * Seek help from an adult/teacher/counselor/friend * Help your friend by telling someone what you see/hear/experience * February is -Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Relationship Advice Which part of a relationship is most important to you... * If you want to break up with someone do it. Don’t let their emotions get in the way of a decision you think is best... * It’s not you it's me... * When you are in an unhealthy relationship don’t ignore it. The problem will not go away... *