Is this abuse? (click to play)

Yes!

Warning Signs Being able to tell the difference between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships can be more difficult than you might think. No two relationships are the same.

In a healthy relationship, both partners respect and trust one another and embrace each other’s differences. Both partners are able to communicate their needs effectively and listen to each other, working to resolve conflict in a rational and non-violent way.

The Dominator The Friend Shouts Sulks Smashes things Glares Makes you feel ugly and useless Calls you names Cuts you off from your friends Stops you doing what you want Never admits they are wrong Blames you, drugs, drink, stress etc. Is cheerful Is consistent Is supportive Tells you, you look good Tells you you’re capable Uses your name Trusts you Trusts your judgement Welcomes your friends and family Admits to being wrong

The Dominator The Friend Turns against you Uses others to control you Never does their share Controls the money Expects sex on demand Seduces people close to you Expects you to be responsible for their well-being Threatens you to get their own way Supports your learning, career choice etc. Encourages you to be independent Shares any work Shares financial responsibility Accepts that you have a right to say “no” Is faithful Takes responsibility for their own well-being and happiness Can communicate what they want calmly and make compromises

What is an unhealthy relationship? Usually a series of abusive behaviours over a course of time - used to exert power and control over a partner. Abusive relationship Dating Violence Coercive Controlling Unhealthy

Checking phones, s or social networks without permission Extreme jealousy or insecurity Constant belittling or put- downs Explosive temper Isolation from family and friends Making false accusations Erratic mood swings Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way Possessiveness Telling someone what to do

Every relationship is different, but the things that unhealthy and abusive relationships have in common are issues of power and control. Violent words and actions are tools an abusive partner uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. Any young person can experience dating abuse or unhealthy relationship behaviours, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic standing, ethnicity, religion or culture. It does not discriminate and can happen to anyone in any relationship, whether it’s one that is casual and short-term or serious and monogamous.

What advice would you give a friend?

Where to go for help! Contact 999 if you are in immediate danger The National Domestic Violence Helpline The ‘This Is Abuse’ campaign has a detailed list of organisations you can contact for help ChildLine Men’s Advice Line Broken Rainbow provides support to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in abusive relationships