 Information from:  Bully-Proofing Your School: Working with Victims and Bullies in Elementary Schools By: C. Garrity, Ph.D.; K. Jens, Ph.D.; W. Porter, Ph.D; N. Sager, M.A.; C. Short-Camilli, L.C.S.W. Copyright 2004 (Third Ed.); Sopris West Educational Services; Longmont, Colorado

Session 1

 My favorite: Dessert Outdoor Activity Subject at school Movie

 My Birthday:  When I Grow Up, I would like to:  Something else I want you to know about me:

 Favorite:  FOOD  TV SHOW  ANIMAL  Interests Outside of School  If you could be anyone in the world, who would it be?

 Friendship is positive in nature; it makes children feel good  Between friends, there is a give and take  Friends usually have similar interests  Friends share and celebrate their differences

 Between friends, there is a balance of power  Children deserve to be treated well by their friends  Add your own ideas about friendship

 There is an imbalance of power  There are repeated negative incidents; it doesn’t happen just one time  The bully can be either a single individual or a bullying group  Why do children bully others?  To gain power  To gain popularity and attention  To act out problems

Session 2

 Think about which kids are friendly. Try to join those kids.  Think about which kids like the same things you like. Try to join those kids.  It is easiest to join one person or a group of four or more.

 Remember that “no” does not always mean “never.” It could mean “not right now” or “try again later.” So try at least three different times to join a group of kids (not always on the same day).  Observe the activity you want to join. Try to fit in by imitating what the others are doing. Do not try to change what the others are playing.

 Giving compliments  Inviting others to play  Being a good listener  Letting a friend go first  Sharing things  Apologizing if I make a mistake  Doing a favor for a friend  Letting others have their way sometimes

 Standing up for a friend  Playing by the rules in games  Being a good sport if I lose  Being honest/not lying  Offering to help a friend  Encouraging a friend  Noticing if a friend is upset and offering support  Remembering something important about a friend’s life and asking about it

Session 3

 Self-esteem is learned. It is not something you are born with.  Self-esteem can be changed  Self-esteem guides thinking and behavior  Self-esteem plays a role in the kinds of friends you choose  Positive self-esteem helps you value the person you are

 A kid who shares  Lets you borrow things  A kid who is fair  Is a good sport  A kid who cares  Nice to people  A good listener  A kid who is fun  Enjoys doing things that you like to do

 Name people who like you  Name things that you do well  What are you working on to improve?  Do you say or show others that you like them?

 Pushing  Excluding from group  Mocking  Teasing about appearance  Inflicting bodily harm  Verbal threats  Spreading rumors  Taking possessions  Defacing property

Session 4

 I WANT…  I FEEL …  I NEED…  I’M GLAD I COULD TELL YOU…

 I DON’T WANT TO PLAY NOW, MAYBE LATER.  I CAN DO IT MYSELF, I’M NOT A BABY.  YOU’RE TOO SLOPPY, LET ME SPREAD THE GLUE.  CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?  THANKS FOR OFFERING TO SHARE, BUT I DON’T LIKE…

 ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT THE BEHAVIOR  KEEEP IT SHORT  USE I STATEMENTS  TREAT THE OTHER PERSON AS AN EQUAL  LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON

 NAME CALL  BLAME  THREATEN  HIT  USE SARCASM  REMAIN SILENT  GENERALIZE  CHANGE TOPIC

Session 5

 Think about what makes you mad/upset?  When someone makes you upset, try doing:  Say multiplication tables in your head  Count backward for 30  Do not think about what the person did to you

 Remember that you are giving control to the other person if you respond. Doing nothing means that you win.  It gets worse before it gets better  Winning is not who is best at put-downs  Winning is taking care of your own emotions

Session 6

BENEFITS  Teach you to solve problems  Make you feel calmer  Lead to better behavior  Relieve stress PROBLEMS  Make another person mad  Result in a “lose- lose” situation  Be hurtful  Escalate another’s behavior

 Lying  Hitting, pushing  Bragging  Cheating  Gossiping  Tattling  Being bossy  Talking too much  Laughing at others’ mistakes  Not forgiving  Not sharing  Copying

 Where were you when you got angry?  What made you angry?  Who/what were you angry with?  How did you deal with your anger?  What did you do to work out the problems?

 Positive thoughts  Counting to 10  Listening to music  Exercising  Relaxation  Assertive behavior  Problem-solving