Intimate Relationships and Marriage Unit 3: Chapter 7

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection NATURAL SELECTION Women preferred to mate with men: who would be good fathers who would stay around to be good providers for themselves and their children Men preferred to mate with women: who could bear healthy babies who could feed their children who had the intelligence and temperament to raise them well

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection SOCIAL HOMOGAMY Individuals are attracted to those with similar social backgrounds Tests rating attractiveness have shown correlation for social homogamy: Highest correlations found for age, race, ethnic background, religion, socio-economic status, and political views Correlations were also found for physical characteristics, such as length of fingers and space between eyes, suggesting that people find others with a similar appearance attractive. (Buss, 1994).

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection IDEAL MATE THEORY Attraction is based on an individuals unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her perceptions of the meaning of certain characteristics

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection PROXIMITY  Is a major factor in mate selection We are attracted to, fall in love with, and marry those who live and work nearby, belong to the same groups/religious community and attend the same cultural events (Broderick, 2000)

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection ROBERT STERNBERG’S LOVE TRIANGLE

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection Romantic love has three faces: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment Passion: a strong feeling of sexual desire for another, develops the most quickly of the three Intimacy: an intense friendship, develops more slowly, each individual shares himself or herself with another and becomes willing to meet the other’s psychological needs Commitment: grows as the rewards of the relationship over others becomes evident, individuals accept reciprocal roles

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection BERNARD MURSTEIN’S FILTER THEORY Choosing a partner is a multi-step process “Sifting”: individuals pass their dates through a series of filters to screen out unacceptable marriage partners and to select those who are similar to themselves

Murstein’s Filter Theory Field of Eligibles Propinquity Filter Attraction Filter Physical Attraction Personality Homogamy Filter Age, Race, Education, SES, Religion Compatiblity Filter Temperament, Attitudes, Values, Needs, Roles Trial Filter Cohabitation, engagement Decision Filter Marriage

Courtship Free-Choice Mate Selection: individuals are attracted to each other, fall in love, and decide to marry Courtship: allows individuals to win the affection of those to whom they are attracted Bundling: The young couple would be tucked into bed with a “bundling board” between them so that they could have private conversations without sexual contact

Speed Dating Activity Write down 5 questions you would ask someone on the first date. You will have about 2 minutes for each “date” When I say SWITCH, rate how compatible you think you are with your date. 1=not compatible, 10=very compatible Move onto your next “date”