Luke 10:38-42 “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things” (v. 41) Not a bad person Not immoral Not lacking in love for the Lord Bothered (NASV) – by many things Distracted – thus struggled We like Martha struggle about many things!

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3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Psalms 127 Having children is one of the greatest blessings God gives

Tremendous Responsibility “What kind of child will this be?” (Luke 1:66) What is at Stake? Soul of the Child Souls of the Parents Therein lies the struggle!

Struggle With Parenting I. Demands on Parents’ Time

New Demands On Our Time A. Time and how it’s spent - is important (Ephesians 5:16) B. Children need our time – easy to neglect 1. To teach and train (Proverbs 22:6) 2. To be an example (Ezekiel 16:44) 3. Can spend time with child and still neglect him!

New Demands On Our Time A. Time and how it’s spent - is important (Ephesians 5:16) B. Children need our time – Easy to neglect C. Hindrances : (Work, Sports, TV, Hobby) D. Easy to neglect the marriage 1. Parents wrapped totally in the children 2. Neglect each other 3. Children leave home – don’t even know each other 4. Love & commit to each other (Eph. 5:25-ff; Matt. 19)

New Demands On Our Time A. Time & how it’s spent - is important (Ephesians 5:16) B. Children need our time – Easy to neglect C. Hindrances: (Work, Sports, TV, Hobby) D. Easy to neglect the marriage E. Hard for mothers to worship 1. Seeing to baby / small child - frustrating 2. Young mothers often discouraged (What’s the use?) 3. You are teaching a young soul the importance of serving God!

S TRUGGLE W ITH P ARENTING I. Demands on Parents’ Time II. Controlling Child’s Behavior

C ONTROLLING C HILD ’ S B EHAVIOR A. Should start early

Early Start The Punishment Should: Behavior under control early (Prov. 19:18) Teach them respect (Ephesians 6:1-4) Don’t teach or allow things that must be corrected or changed later (Prov. 22:6) – “Cute” at age 5 – may be a problem at 15 – May be hard to overcome “inconsistency” Remember little children grow up

C ONTROLLING C HILD ’ S B EHAVIOR A. Should start early B. Should change the behavior

Correct - Punishment Change the behavior (Proverbs 22:15) Firm - put some teeth in the rules Balanced with love / encouragement / praise Done with future in mind (Hebrews 12:11; Proverbs 23:13-14) The Punishment Should:

C ONTROLLING C HILD ’ S B EHAVIOR A. Should start early B. Should change the behavior C. Should control the child

Control Children do not have wisdom - comes later Need guidance and restrictions Controlled by parents (cf. 1 Timothy 3:4-5) Some children control the parent! – Awful! Parents need to watch / know.... Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

S TRUGGLE W ITH P ARENTING I. Demands on Parents’ Time II. Controlling Child’s Behavior III. Knowing What is Best

Knowing The Best & Wisest Course Isn’t Always Easy A. The Struggle: What to do / When to do it When to command & condemn – when to console & comfort When to do for them & when to make them do for self Which “battle” should I fight? How will this affect the child in the future?

Knowing The Best & Wisest Course Isn’t Always Easy A. The Struggle: B. How to handle the struggle:

Handling The Struggle 1. Ask: What does Scripture say (Joshua 9:14) 2. Pray for wisdom (James 1:5)

Colossians 1:9 9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; “ He will do only that which is in his spiritual interest, or what is good for him on a spiritual level. Some things even right in themselves are not best for the Christian. It does not necessarily take all wisdom and spiritual understanding to know the difference between right and wrong, or the good and the bad. But it does require such wisdom and understanding to know the better over the good, and the best over the better, and having recognized the difference to then make the best choice rather than just refuse the bad.” – Weaver…Col.1:9

Handling The Struggle 1. Ask: What does Scripture say (Joshua 9:14) 2. Pray for wisdom (James 1:5) 3. Seek wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22; 24:6) 4. Look at examples of those done well 5. Look beyond present – where this will lead

S TRUGGLE W ITH P ARENTING I. Demands on Parents’ Time II. Controlling Child’s Behavior III. Knowing What is Best IV. Teaching Child What is Right

Children Must Be Taught What : Saturate them with Word (Deut. 6:1-9) Who:  Fathers are responsible (Eph. 6:1-4)  Mothers should teach (2 Tim. 1:5; 3:15) Why: Fatal to assume they know (Jud. 2:10)

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go…” How to raise a child “…and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” What he will be as an adult DependsuponDependsupon

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 Train up: - Mold & Shape Dedicate by training Strong’s: “chanak figuratively, to initiate or discipline: dedicate, train up.” Same word translated “dedicate” (Deut. 20:5; 1Kings 8:63; 2 Chron. 7:5) – Training is dedicating a child to God. How? - Guide them in what they need Chanak - lit. means put something in the mouth. - as nurse gives an infant in order to prepare them for nursing (Pulpit).

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 Train up: - Mold & Shape Child: From infant to marriageable age 1 Sam. 4:21 - infant Gen. 21: preteen lad Gen. 37:2 - youth (17) Gen. 34:19 - marriageable age While still under your roof!

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 Train up: - Mold & Shape Child: From infant to marriageable age In the way: God Fearing / Child’s Way Heb: derek - Keil says, “of the nature of the child as such, for …. is the child’s way” “The manner of instruction, ought to regulate itself according to the stage of life; and its peculiarities; the method ought to be arranged according to the degrees of development which the mental and bodily life of the youth has arrived at.” - Keil

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 Train up: - Mold & Shape Child: From infant to marriageable age In the way: God Fearing / Child’s way Result: Impacts rest of his life General Statement - Are Exceptions -

S TRUGGLE W ITH P ARENTING I. Demands on Parents’ Time II. Controlling Child’s Behavior III. Knowing What is Best IV. Teaching Child What is Right V. Their Friends

A. Close Friends – Draw close to / become like them 1. Psalm 1: Galatians 2:11-13 – Peter influenced by those he was with- Barnabas influenced by Peter Keeping A Close Eye On Friends

A. Close Friends – Draw close to/ become like them B. The Warnings – Watch Your Associations 1. Mixed multitude (Exodus 12:38; Numbers 11:4; Nehemiah13:3) 2. Exodus 23:2, Proverbs 1: Proverbs 4: Proverbs 12:26 6. Proverbs 22: Proverbs 23: Corinthians 15:33 Keeping A Close Eye On Friends

A. Close Friends – Draw close to/become like them B. The Warnings – Watch Your Associations C. What Could Happen: (cf. Psalm 1:1-3) 1. Become indifferent toward sin – not bothered 2. A little participation in sin (drink, smoke, drugs, language, filth, etc.) 3. Hypocrisy – (still try to “serve God” and hold world’s hand) 4. More participation in sin – less bothered …. 5. Less concern about God, his church or doing right Keeping A Close Eye On Friends Do? Say no! - to children’s desire to be with worldly friend!

S TRUGGLE W ITH P ARENTING I. Demands on Parents’ Time II. Controlling Child’s Behavior III. Knowing What is Best IV. Teaching Child What is Right V. Their Friends