RESET - Children| 1 Children and RESET When a parent serves in the Army, the children also serve! 2010

RESET - Children| 2 Objectives  To explain the stages of deployment and normal emotional reactions to those stages  To discuss reintegration tips  To strategize about successful coping strategies  To review the resources available

RESET - Children| 3 Stages of the Deployment Cycle Support in the Eyes of Children  Preparing to Deploy  Deployed  Getting Ready to Come Home  Readjusting to returning Parent(s)

RESET - Children| 4 Some Things to Consider  Like adults, children react to deployment stressors  Children are perceptive to parent’s feelings and behaviors  Reactions will change throughout the deployment cycle  Age and level of understanding influence how children react and cope

RESET - Children| 5 Reconnecting with Infants Infants may:  Cry or fuss more  Pull away from the deployed parent  Cling to the main caregiver  Not recognize the returning Soldier Spouses or Caregivers can:  Encourage the returning Soldier to spend time with the baby  Give their Soldier space to become an active parent again Returning Soldiers can:  Hold, hug, bathe, feed, and play with the baby

RESET - Children| 6 Reconnecting with Toddlers Children aged 1-3 years may:  Be shy around or not recognize the returning parent  Cling to the parent or caregiver who remained home  Cry, have tantrums, or regress to earlier behaviors (no longer potty trained) Spouses or Caregivers:  Encourage the returning Soldier to give the child time to warm up and make the first approach Returning Soldiers:  Learn the games and activities the child enjoys  Give Family hugs at first & do not force affection

RESET - Children| 7 Reconnecting with Preschoolers Preschoolers may:  Act sad or frustrated  Cling to the parent or caregiver who remained home  Act out to get attention, have bad dreams, and talk a lot to bring the returning Soldier up to date Spouses or Caregivers:  Encourage the returning Soldier to listen to the child, accept their feelings, and not over react to the negative behavior Returning Soldiers:  Play with the children and find out what are the new, important things going on in their lives

RESET - Children| 8 Reconnecting with School-Age Children School age children may:  Display a range of feelings and moods  Talk non-stop or act “grown up”  Be fearful that they are not good enough Spouses or Caregivers:  Encourage the returning Soldier to spend time with the child and learn what has been going on in their life Returning Soldiers:  Take time to look at your child’s artwork, school work, and learn about their activities

RESET - Children| 9 Reconnecting with Adolescents Adolescents may:  Be excited, yet feel too old or unwilling to meet or spend time with the returning parent  Be concerned about changes in rules and responsibilities  Have difficulties in school, mood swings, or become rebellious Spouses or Caregivers:  Encourage the returning Soldier to spend time with the child and learn what has been going on in their life Returning Soldiers:  Share what is appropriate about the deployment  Practice listening

RESET - Children| 10 Way to Keep Children Connected  Take more time to talk, hug, and cuddle  Recognize that children may test the limits  Keep discipline routine and rules as consistent as possible  Find out what is going on in their “world”

RESET - Children| 11 Children’s Needs  Stability of Family routines and rituals  Nurturing adults – assurance they are loved  Adult to talk with about their thoughts and feelings

RESET - Children| 12  Efforts to prepare children  Talking and teaching to address children’s emotions and thinking  Children’s contact with deployed parent  Parents’ reactions and abilities to take care of themselves  Supportive Family environment  Support services and network Factors that Lead to Children’s Resilience

RESET - Children| 13 Resources: Preschool and School-Age Children  Talk, Listen, Connect – Helping Families During Military Deployments  Mr. Poe and Friends Discuss Family Reunion After Deployment

RESET - Children| 14 Resources for Teenagers Military Youth Coping With Separation: When Family Members Deploy

RESET - Children| 15 Resources for Parents  Family Readiness Group activities  Reintegration briefings  Chapel/church fellowship/Sunday School  Last but not least – Parent to child conversation

RESET - Children| 16 Key Contacts for Children’s Program Information  Army Child, Youth, and School (CYS) Services -  Army Community Service -  National Guard Family Program -  Army Reserve Child and Youth Services -  Operation Military Kids -  DeploymentKids.com  Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC)

RESET - Children| 17 Where and How to Get Support  Military OneSource  Army OneSource  Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF)  Army Community Service (ACS)  Army National Guard Family Program  Army Reserve Family Programs  Family Readiness Group  Chaplain  Military Life Consultants  Behavioral Health: Social Work Service, Psychiatry, Psychology  Red Cross and other Community Service Agencies  Department of Veteran Affairs

RESET - Children| 18 More Tips  Open and honest communication between parent and child is vital to a secure relationship  Maintain Family routines and rituals to foster a sense of security  Children need reassurance that they are loved  Deploying parents should make a point of spending alone time with each of their children Tips  Talk openly which is vital to a secure relationship  Maintain Family routines and rituals to foster a sense of security  Nurture children as they need reassurance that they are loved  Spend alone time with each child  Seek resources and support networks that are available to assist through the deployment cycle

RESET - Children| 19 Questions?

RESET - Children| 20 Closing Remarks

RESET - Children| 21 Additional Slides: (keep handy as a reference)

RESET - Children| 22 Children’s Reactions to Deployment: School-Age (6-12) Reactions include:  Whiny, irritable, anger or aggressive behavior  Changes in eating and sleeping habits  Guilt, resentment  Depressed, worried  Problems at school, unwillingness to go to school  Physical complaints (e.g., stomach ache)  Experience rapid mood swings

RESET - Children| 23 Children and Separation What the research shows:  Resilience is key  Communication between Soldier and Family is crucial  Communication from leadership is important  Parent or caregiver attitude and coping style have major effects on children  Contact with Family Readiness Support Group is helpful