Conflict Resolution And communication

Effective?

Scenario 1  Does violence ever solve a conflict?  Name one aspect of communication that is effective when using violence to resolve. 

Texting

Scenario 2  Your best friend hurt your feelings by talking about you behind your back so you decided it’s best not to bring it up and just ignore her for a week or so.  Is this effective?

Scenario 3  You get in a fight with your mom and dad. When things get heated you run into your room and slam the door. You refuse to let anyone in or talk to them.  Is this effective? 

Scenario 4  You get in a fight with your brother, but instead of bringing up what’s really bothering you, you begin to name call and yell.  Is this effective? 

Communication  There are barriers to communication that can cause conflict  Mixed messages  Differences  Stereotypes  Prejudices

Mixed Messages  Relaying one message orally, but physically sending another message  Ex. Telling someone how much you like them while rolling your eyes and frowning  Ex. Your friend is crying, and when you ask them if they’re okay, they say yes, and force a smile  Mixed Messages are a barrier to good communication

Differences  It is easy to communicate with someone who is similar to you because you may already share the same opinions and beliefs  It is a challenge and a potential barrier when you are speaking with someone who has values, opinions and beliefs that are different than yours  If you are not aware that the person you’re speaking with has different opinions or values, it may become a barrier to communication

Stereotypes  A Stereotype is a fixed belief that all members of a group are the same  Stereotypes apply in many areas- what region you’re from, gender, age, ethnicity, physical traits, etc.  Can you think of some stereotypes you’ve encountered?

Example

Prejudices  Prejudices are opinions that are formed without complete knowledge  Prejudices are NOT based on facts  Prejudices can be both positive and negative, but are more often NEGATIVE  Racism is an extreme form of prejudice

Positive Communication  Active listening is an important part of positive communication  Communication is a two way process- it requires a sender and a receiver  Active listening is an important skill in positive communication

Active Listening  Active listening is a practice that involves the listener in the communication process  Steps to active listening:  Restate what the speaker says- feedback  Send signals you are listening, like nodding your head  Ask questions to clarify  Listen before answering  Do not interrupt

Conflict Poor communication is often the reason that family or friends get into disagreements, or conflict CONFLICT- disagreements or problems in relationships No relationship is conflict free

Tips for Resolving Conflict  Voice your concerns  Decide what the problem is- use only FACTS  Listen to the other side  Suggest all possible solutions  Find the right time to solve conflicts

Resolution Styles  Avoidance  Problem Solving  Compromise  Accommodating to Requirements  Separation

Avoidance  “Burying your head in the sand”  Ignoring the conflict completely  No resolution can be found since you are avoiding one important step of conflict resolution- voicing your concerns

Problem Solving  Both parties brainstorm ideas on how to solve the problem  The problem must be identified and both parties must be willing to offer up ideas for a solution

Compromise  Both parties acknowledge the conflict and work towards a common goal for resolution  Both parties must “meet in the middle” and sacrifice some to come to a compromise  “It’s like having a unibrow, they both meet in the middle.”  Jared Harris  “an agreement can bring people closer.”  Damon Darby

Accommodating to Requirements  One party completely gives in to appease the other  The conflict itself is not resolved, but one party essentially surrenders to the other’s terms

Separation  When no other form of resolution can be found, and the conflict has escalated to a point of danger or unhealthiness, a separation of parties is the last resort  Separation can be a healthy choice when a last resort is needed.

Final Thoughts  Communication is necessary in all relationships  When communication is not successful, it can result in conflict  Conflict occurs in all relationships but it is important to resolve in a healthy manner

Picture Quiz

Brainstorm  Create a windowpane with visual pictures of the 5 styles of conflict resolution and turn in to the yellow basket. CONFLICT STYLES AVOIDANCE PROBLEM SOLVING COMPROMISE ACCOMODATING TO REQUIREMENTS SEPARATION