Communicating and interacting; Feelings must be shared

Comunication has always been necessary for humans. It isn’t a primary or secondary need, but is combined with all other needs.

SPEAKER Channel of communication MESSAGE LISTENER encodingdecoding FEEDBACK interference

Here are some messages… And the relevant code

Get out! Code: Gesture Supplementing the speech Code: symbolic gifts Will you marry me? Code: conventional gestures Move…!

Give me the test in class! Code: written From the Gospel of Luke… Code: rituals

Code: MUSICAL and Physical

Proximity All of us have a certain space around our body. This distance that surrounds us separates and protects us from the rest of the world.

The section of the tree which indicates the use of words, is significantly smaller than the ‘non-verbal’ section. All verbal communication comes from speaking, as the tree sap must cross the trunk in order to reach the branches. oral or written Tales stories descriptions reports songs statements cheers discussions dialogues Questions recitation poetry prayers TONE TIMBRE ACCENT EMPHASIS

The lower section(non-verbal), hidden from view, is atleast double the size of the section above the surface.(verbal) This means that we communicate a lot more through ‘non-verbal’ language than ‘written or spoken’ language. Our body, actions, behaviour and attitude, clothes, emotions, facial expressions, sounds, images, all communicate. Overall: you can’t not communicate. Expressions of emotion (smiling, crying, wonder…) Indications of personality (sex, ethnicity, health,age, physical strength…) Actions which complete speech (this tall, stop!, be quiet!) Artistic expressions (music, dance, painting, sculpture, art…) Body language showing relationships between people (caresses,hugs, bows, threats)

Axioms of Communication 1 You can’t not communicate Communicative behaviour doesn’t have an equal: movement and inactivity, words or silence; all have the ability to communicate, because they influence others which, in turn, can’t not respond to this communication.

2. EVERY COMMUNICATION HAS AN ASPECT OF THE CONTENT AND AN ASPECT OF THE RELATIONSHIP – THE SECOND CLASSIFIES THE FIRST Communication doesn’t only transmit information, but at the same time it imposes a type of behaviour. Every example of comunication is a type of behaviour, and every type of behaviour is communication. Every second of the day, you are communication through your behaviour: your gaze, way of speaking, posture, and movement. Relationship specifies the content: metacommunication

3. THE NATURE OF A RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON THE PUNCTUATION OF THE SEQUENCE OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE PARTIES Communication is a continuous exchange of messages which the communicators must PUNCTUATE, organising their exchanges according to a sequence in which a specific response must follow a specific cue

4. HUMAN BEINGS COMMUNICATE EITHER WITH THE NUMERICAL MODEL OR WITH THE ANALOGICAL MODEL THE NEED FOR COEXISTANCE NUMERIC LANGUAGE broadcasts news and knowledge (I love you) ANALOGIC LANGUAGE broadcasts emotion (a kiss and a cuddle) Ambiguity (Tears? A Smile?)

5. ALL COMMUNICATIVE EXCHANGES ARE BASED ON EQUALITY (symmetrical exchanges) OR DIFFERENCES (complimentary exchanges) RISK OF BEING PROVED WRONG COMPLIMENTARY RISK OF BECOMING COMPETITIVE SYMMETRICAL

Personal interpretation of the message 1. Ignore the message 2. Accept part of the message 3. Change the content IN THE CONTENT IN THE RELATIONSHIP 1. Accept the other person communication is self-affirmation 2. Ignore the other person 3. Prove the other person wrong

Behaviour in the relationship Those who see themselves as being small see other people as being big

From a combination of: How sure we are of ourselves How highly we regard our communication partner we have four types of behaviour remissive manipulative authoritary Positive relationships