J O' Connell LEC February IPPN National Conference 2006 The Skills of Conflict Management Joe O’ Connell Director Limerick Education Centre

J O' Connell LEC February Understanding Challenging Situations Conflict happens when………… We feel others have, or intend to, frustrate or ignore our interests or concerns

J O' Connell LEC February Understanding Challenging Situations Context School Context Dynamic, the potential of the dynamic Relationships Previous interaction, Law of Effect Context of the situation/incident

J O' Connell LEC February Understanding Challenging Situations Expectations 1.Clarity re role and responsibilities 2.Central issues/goals are fuzzy

J O' Connell LEC February Group Interaction

J O' Connell LEC February Group Interaction The Operating Forces There are three levels of analysis: 1.Within Individuals 2.Between Individuals 3.The group as a whole

J O' Connell LEC February Group Interaction The Operating Forces Interaction…..Physical, Verbal, Non-verbal, Emotional Structure….. Stable Relationships, Status, Authority Cohesiveness….. Self Esteem Size….. Social Loafing Temporal Change…. Members can be changed by the group, a group can be changed by a member

J O' Connell LEC February Challenging Behaviour REACTION

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Your Style……Your Social Skills Might makes right…… Competing Two heads are better than one…………Collaborating Split the difference….. Compromising Leave well enough alone …. Avoiding Kill your enemies with kindness…………… Accommodating

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Competing: Closed off from information Staff afraid to admit uncertainties hence less able to learn Feel powerless in situations, restricts your influence Have trouble in taking a firm stand, even when you see the need.

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Collaborating Spending too much time discussing issues in depth, trivial gets over valued, impatience with you increases Missing out on the gain of joint decisions Staff generally uncommitted to decisions or policies

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Compromising Loosing sight of principles and values, long term objectives Loosing out on the main safety valve, getting gracefully out of mutually destructive arguments

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Avoiding Issues that need to be faced are not and decisions on important issues are made by default Stirring up hostilities, need more discretion in confronting issues, tact Overwhelmed by issues and need to set priorities

J O' Connell LEC February Personal Reaction to Challenge Accommodating Feeling that your own ideas and concerns are not getting the attention they deserve Discipline can be lax Experiencing trouble building goodwill Be regarded as unreasonable Having trouble admitting when you are wrong Fail to recognise legitimate exceptions to rules Not know when to give up.

J O' Connell LEC February Conflict Management Strategies Lose/Lose Win/Lose Win/Win

J O' Connell LEC February Conflict Management Strategies LOSE/LOSE Avoidance Compromise Low co-operation Low assertiveness

J O' Connell LEC February WIN/LOSE Competing-high desire to satisfy one’s concerns and not the others Accomodating-low desire to satisfy own desire and high desire to satisfy the other’s (wants harmony at all costs) Domination-low level of co-operation, high level of aggression

J O' Connell LEC February Win/Win Problem solving…….both parties want mutually satisfying solutions Identify the problem Identify all possible solutions Decide what solution is best Determine how to implement the solution Assess the results

J O' Connell LEC February Dealing with Challenging Behaviour Teacher Pupil Teacher Parent Kindred Code between Management and Teacher

J O' Connell LEC February Guiding Principles Understand and appreciate roles and responsibilities Professional approach at all times Language Depersonalise situations Be an active listener Don’t carry agendas

J O' Connell LEC February Absolute The Power of words, the appropriateness of language The kind word The gentle word The angry word The harsh word The careless word

J O' Connell LEC February Absolute Non judgemental “No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism….. …..as the one who’s giving it” Hal Chadwick

J O' Connell LEC February Kindred Code Any disagreement between Senior Management and Staff will permeate throughout. United front at all times Professional approach at all times No confrontation/ disagreement in view of pupils Solidarity about decisions taken Positive body language sets the tone for the school Whats sauce for the goose……………..

J O' Connell LEC February Teacher/Parent Parent is naturally apprehensive Parent is generally defensive Parent has rehearsed Parent has listened to their daughter/son Parent has baggage Listen Acknowledge effort to be present Demonstrate mutual interest, support and concern. Show hope, list some positive Get them to outline what they will, can do Don’t set unreasonable demands

J O' Connell LEC February Getting Your Message Across Teacher Pupil Expectation of confrontation The power of words Tone of voice Rehearsed statements I do not accept your behaviour You are forcing me to …. Your behaviour is….. I will have to deal with you later Refrain from “What”, “Whom” questions Remove the audience factor, isolate where possible Silence as a tactic Discuss with target pupils in time of calm Reinforce at all times standard required Model what is required Build in rewards