Match these examples to the correct name of the descriptive technique. (Activity 5 in virtual classroom) 1 – It was as hot as scorching sand on a summer’s day Powerful language 2 – Smash, crash, boom the thunder deafened me.Metaphors 3 – She sells seashells by the seashore.Simile & alliteration 4 – He plummeted down the cliff. Touch (5 X senses) 5 – It was an electric bolt that hit me suddenly. I had to tell her I loved her. Alliteration 6 – The sand scratched my feet as I made my way to the water. Onomatopoeia

Learning Objective: To think of a range of descriptions you can use in your recount. To complete the plan of your own recount. Learning Objective: To think of a range of descriptions you can use in your recount. To complete the plan of your own recount. Success Criteria: Completed a planning sheet for your recount. Completed an activity to demonstrate your understanding of tone. Success Criteria: Completed a planning sheet for your recount. Completed an activity to demonstrate your understanding of tone. Plenary: Re-view.Plenary:

Your experiences. 1 Have a look at the list of experiences that you made. E.G: General Specific Staying at home with Ellie vs. going to the theatre with friends and family. Friends vs. family 2 Choose an experience that has a clear conflict in it that you think you could recount in words. Hint: The more specific the incident is, the easier it will be to use descriptive language to improve your recount. Once you have picked an event answer these questions in your book/computer 3Make a chronological list of the order things happened. The list should not be about 6-10 points. 4Who was involved? 5Where did it take place? 6When did it happen?

Time to fill in your planning sheet. Find the planning sheet in the virtual classroom. ‘planning table with senses’ Save the planning sheet in your Recount folder. But why do we have to plan? A good recount will ‘show’ what happened rather than ‘tell’ what happened. This planning sheet will help you do that.

Tell The thirteen year old school girl sat at the bus stop. She wished that she was over speaking with the cool crowd but instead she was all by herself. Alone, as usual. She wondered if the bus would ever turn up or if she would have to endure the embarrassment of sitting by herself forever. Show The girl’s long, uniform skirt hung uncomfortably past her knees. Sweat formed on the seat as she checked the timetable for the one hundredth time. Her eyes kept glancing at the group of giggling girls standing next to the boy’s college gates. Their shirts were undone, not a tie in sight. “If only …” she thought. Then she heard them look and snigger and she was sure it was about her. Again she leaned towards the road and looked for the bus; willing it to arrive and take her out of this hell. How does the second paragraph let us know the details the first paragraph tells us? A good recount will combine both description and some telling. It can’t all be description or it becomes too waffly. However, without any description the reader becomes bored and does not use their imagination.

Step 1 – Fill in the ORIENTATION box. Using dot points list the 5 Ws Who Where When What Why

Step 2 – Fill in the topics of your paragraphs for the BODY of your recount in the left column. Example from my recount: Leisure Time

Step 3 – Quickly brainstorm the different things you might: see, hear, smell, taste, touch and feel. Don’t stress about this. It is a brainstorm. You are not locked into using these ideas.

Step 4 – Choose and highlight you best example of each of the senses + emotions.

Step 5 – Choose other examples so that you have about 3 sensory descriptions per paragraph. Tip: Try to have variety. Don’t just have sight, sound and smell for every paragraph.

Step 5 – Using the POPS MARS list at the bottom of the page as a check list. Try to include at least one example of each technique somewhere in your paragraphs. Be careful! It is easy to change the tone of your writing by using an inappropriate simile or other language techniques. While these language techniques can really improve your writing, you need to be thoughtful about how and when you apply them. We will now complete an activity to help you learn about tone.

TONE - Activity 1 - What kind of tone should a piece about finding out some bad medical news have? 2 – Read the paragraph below and identify the following: Key points Inappropriate words/allusions/comparisons As I entered the hospital, the lights were as bright as a Broadway theatre sign and I could feel the air conditioning freeze my skin like when I visited the polar bear exhibit at the zoo. Like a little kid at Christmas, I was impatient to know the result. What the Doctor said to me would affect the rest of my life. Eventually, he said the words and the tears ran down my face like a beautiful, cascading waterfall. 3 – Include the main facts and rewrite this paragraph creating an appropriate tone.

Step 6 – Fill in the RE-ORIENTATION box. What have you learnt? What would you do differently next time? How have you changed?

Step 8 – Think of a hook that will get your readers really interested in your recount. The next slide will show you some examples of hooks.

Openings A hook is a technique used by the author to ‘hook’ the reader into wanting to find out more. For example… A mystery A surprise Something puzzling An exciting event Which type of narrative hook do you think Louis Sachar uses at the beginning of Holes? There is no lake at Camp Green Lake.