BIRTH ORDER First Born, Second Born, Middle Born, Last Born, Only

What is birth order?  The Logic:  If the way parents treat their children affects the way they “turn out”  AND  If parents treat their children differently depending on where they fall in the birth order  THEN:  Your birth position affects your personality.

First born  Tend to be very motivated to achieve their goals.  Usually the child who gets the most attention directed at him or her  Strong Willed  Usually have closest relationship with parents

Strengths of the First Born Child  Leadership ability; take charge  Aggressive; command respect  Compliant; cooperative  Perfectionist; always do things right  Organized; tend to be on time  Driver; ambitious

Weaknesses of the First Born Child  Overbearing; aggressive  Insensitive; selfish  Can be taken advantage of; bullied  Criticize themselves and others too much  May worry too much about order, process, and rules  Do not like being told what to do

First Born Careers  Often high level of degree such as: -Law -Medicine -Computer Programming -Architecture  Often the Boss of the company  Do not work well in creative jobs because there is no direction

First Born Relationships Prefer to be the one in charge in a romantic relationships. Gets along with others, but has a small group of “true” friends It is not recommended they marry another first born or only as both will want to be in charge Can be demanding parents.

Middle Born/ Second Child  Often the most difficult children to read and raise  Tend to be opposite of their older sibling  Usually the child with the most friends and gets along the best with others  Frustrated by not having “privileges” of the oldest or baby.

Strengths of the Middle Born/ Second Child  Learn not to be spoiled  Reasonable Expectations; realistic  Social Lion; relationships are very important  Independent Thinker; risk taker  “Peacemaker” (great at negotiation)  Works well in groups  Key Factor: Usually the opposite of the first born

Weaknesses of the Middle Child  May be rebellious because they don’t feel they fit in/ “class clown”  Being treated unfairly may have made them suspicious, cynical, and bitter  Friends can be too important  May appear to be bullheaded, stubborn, and unwilling to cooperate

Middle Born Careers  Often choose careers that allow them to be creative such as:  -Sales/Marketing  -Art  -Performance  Or a career that requires negotiating  Do not work well with details

Love Relationships and the Middle/Second born  Often marry very early in life or very late  Compromise well in romantic relationships  Great lovers because they desire to please their partner  Can have successful relationships with any birth order due to flexibility.

Parenting and the Middle Child Often desire to provide children with “fairness” Tend to be flexible and caring parents Active in lives of children Make friends of the parents of their children’s friends.

Last Born Characteristics (THE BABY)  Tend to be the easiest birth order to identify  May be pampered and spoiled or expected to grown up fast to catch up to siblings.  Often difficult for them to find their place in the family since their older siblings have left footprints to fill  Last born children know no boundaries

Strengths of the Last Born Child  Charming; likeable; easy to talk to  Good Listeners  People oriented; read others well  Tenacious; don’t take no for an answer  Eager to help others

Weaknesses of the Last Child  Manipulative; a bit unbelievable  Undisciplined; may talk too much and too long  May push too hard because they only see things their way  Make decisions too much on feeling and not enough on thought  Procrastinators

Last Born Careers  Careers in sales or invention corporations are ideal because of their ability to sell things, including themselves  Often make several career changes.  Prefer to do things at their own pace  Do not like to be tied down to commitment

Love for the Last Born  Once in a relationship, it doesn’t take much to keep them interested  Often choose an older partner  Affectionate spouses  Prefer a partner who will “take charge”  Last born to Last born marriages often are unsuccessful as neither partner wants to make the decisions.  May not enjoy the responsibility of parenthood and may be too permissive as parents.

Only Child  Only children tend to be extremists in all aspects of life  Most only children possess common characteristics with a first born child

Strengths of the Only Child  Confident; trust their own opinion  Perfectionist; always do things right  Organized; have everything under control  Driver; ambitious  Highly motivated  List Maker; set goals and reach them

Weaknesses of the Only Child  May be self-centered from being treated as the “center of the universe” by parents  Tend to criticize themselves and/or others too much; never satisfied  May show impatience toward anyone who is disorganized or not as meticulous; hate surprises  Put themselves and others around them under too much stress and pressure

Only Child Careers  Law  Medicine  Leadership positions  Like black and white concepts  Work better alone which contributes to success  Often stray away from team situations or take too much responsibility  May not take criticism well

Love for the Only Child  Loyal as the loneliness of their childhood translates in a desire to be true  May be demanding of a spouse and a spouse’s time because they are used to being the center of a parent’s attention.  Only-Only and Only-First marriages are least successful as both want to be in control. Only-Last marriages may cause conflict as both desire to be center of attenetion. A middle born is a good match for the only.  Many only children have not had enough experience around children and may not like the disruption they cause.

Factors affecting birth order:  Gender of children  Spacing of children (more than 5 years)  Blended families and half siblings will affect birth order traits  Multiple Births  Adoption  Death of child