Healthy Relationships Dating Pyramid

Are you Love Smart? You and a partner take the Love Smart Quiz

Do You Have a High RQ? Like IQ, which is acquired information, RQ or relationship quotient is learned, you are not born with it but you need it.

Relationship Smarts Needed in any type of relationship “Too busy for a relationship/not interested”

Relationship Smarts Needed in any type of relationship “Group association relationships”

Relationship Smarts Needed in any type of relationship “Going Out”- a few calls, meet at locker, etc.

Relationship Smarts Needed in any type of relationship “Serious relationship”

Gaining Relationship Smarts Could be Dating Ed. (i.e. Drivers Ed.) if you are in the first three types. To help keep you safe.

Gaining Relationship Smarts Simply a road map or GPS for easier navigating if you are already in a serious relationship. To help keep you on the right path.

The Key to Being Relationship Smart How is enjoying a relationship like rock climbing?

Enjoying a relationship is like Rock Climbing because: “Need to take it one step at a time” “The higher you climb, the further you will fall.” “There are many obstacles” “It is hard to get to the top” “If you fall, you may not want to try it again”

Ingredients What are some ingredients of a strong, meaningful relationship/marriage?

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Physical Attraction

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Communication

Common Interests

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Chemistry (great understanding and rapport)

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Similar Values

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Ability to Have Fun

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Respect

Trust

Honesty

Sharing of Feelings

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Physical Affection

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Reliance

Commitment

Love

Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship Sex Married couples want a good sex life.

The Dating Pyramid 3 levels Mature: Marriage is at this level Mature: Marriage is at this level Developing-Deepening Developing-Deepening Foundation- Starters Foundation- Starters

The Dating Pyramid Which ingredients do you feel go in each level of the pyramid? Ability to Have Fun Chemistry Commitment Common Interests Communication Friendship Honesty Love Loyalty Physical Affection Physical Attraction Reliance Respect Sex Sharing of Feelings Trust Values Foundation or Starters Developing or Deepening Mature

Foundation or Starters These ingredients can start the relationship. Gets it off to a good start. These ingredients can start the relationship. Gets it off to a good start. These ingredients are present very early in the relationship. Lay a good, strong foundation. These ingredients are present very early in the relationship. Lay a good, strong foundation. Needed for the relationship to progress in a healthy manner Needed for the relationship to progress in a healthy manner

Physical Attraction Foundation/ Starters Communication Friendship Common Interests Ability to Have Fun Chemistry Foundation or Starters

Developing or Deepening Relationship is progressing, getting stronger. Relationship is becoming more emotional. Many relationships fall apart or fizzle out before this stage. Many of the starters are deepening or growing at this stage.

Developing or Deepening Developing or Deepening Respect Physical Affection Reliance Similar Values TrustSharing of Feelings Friendship & Comm- nication deepen Honesty Loyalty

Mature Level Marriage is appropriate at this level. Time is needed for relationships to progress to this level. Many relationships do not make it to this level.

MatureLevel Love Marriage Commitment SEX

Healthy Dating Pyramid Commitment Marriage SEX Love Mature Respect Physical Affection Reliance Similar Values Developing or Deepening TrustSharing of Feelings Communication & Friendship deepen Physical Attraction Common Interests Ability to Have Fun Chemistry Friendship Communication Foundation or Starters This relationship is a safe, healthy relationship with a solid foundation. This relationship will be enjoyable but takes time to develop and will be meaningful. Honesty Loyalty

Unhealthy Dating Pyramid SEX Mature Developing or Deepening Foundation or Starters This relationship is rocky. It could tip at any time. It is unsafe and lacks a solid foundation.

Unhealthy Dating Pyramid SEX It is unsafe and unhealthy. Someone could get hurt. Developing or mature ingredients may never develop. Common Interests Communication Commitment Friendship ONE-SIDED - NOT SO GREAT- NOT MANY- NOT REALLY-

Keys to Healthy Relationships The whole key is that if sex is an early ingredient, the other aspects that keep the relationship strong may not develop.

Key to Healthy Relationships People get hurt or used in the inverted dating pyramid. When the relationship is over there is hurt and hard feelings. People get hurt or used in the inverted dating pyramid. When the relationship is over there is hurt and hard feelings. Can lead to “empty”, “shallow” relationships. Can lead to “empty”, “shallow” relationships. Regular pyramid, It was a good experience or remains a healthy relationship. Regular pyramid, It was a good experience or remains a healthy relationship.

Questions to Ponder Which pyramid is portrayed as “real life” by the media and society? Which pyramid is portrayed as “real life” by the media and society? Average age of marriage today is much later than past generations, why? Average age of marriage today is much later than past generations, why? Which is pyramid is easier? Which is pyramid is easier? Which is more rewarding? Which is more rewarding?