What’s The Problem?? Private Practice Lisa Livingston, BA Conflict Coaching and Consulting Telephone Client: Chrystall Glassware Referred by: personal friend Client called for own appointment Appointments held at the office of Lisa Livingston

Description of Self as the Conflict Coach I am a Licensed Counselor with a background in Couples Counseling and Family Counseling. I have 10 years of experience in the counseling field, with 3 years in Conflict Coaching and Crisis Management. I have had 7 years of private practice experience in Couples counseling and Family counseling. I work with individuals and small groups and have been contracted to do corporate contracts with the Kellogg’s Corporation throughout the United States.

Presenting the story Chrystall is frustrated with her son who just confessed to her that he would not be graduating on time if he did not take 2 online classes. Chrystall feels that her son does not listen to her. Chrystall feels that her son is intentionally sabotashing his life because he simply does not care. Chrystall states that she does not know what to do and is fed up with her sons actions.

Session 1 Preparation Client is allowed 5 sessions which will be covered through personal insurance. Discussed conflict coaching process: – Expectations – Length of sessions – Confidentiality clause – Objectives of Conflict coaching – Missed appointment policy – Limits and potential of the Conflict Coaching Process

Presenting Story Summary Chrystall Glassware has a seventeen year old son who after a divorce went to live with his father for 2 years in Alaska. The father has taken on a new wife and family and the son has returned home to live with her. ( the main issue) Chrystall’s son has just confessed to her that if he does not take 2 online courses that he will not be graduating high-school with his graduating class. Chrystall is frustrated because her son expresses no real concern for this matter, but instead spends all of his time playing fantasy life games on his computer.

Observations Chrystall became increasingly agitated during our discussion regarding her son and his confession. Raising her voice and became tearful at times. Brought up several issues in which she is struggling with in regards with her son, such as her son not wanting to help out “the way she wants him to do it,” with chores..and his lack of interest in his future.

Type of Conflict Relationship conflict: --interpersonal

Refining the Story Session 2 Chrystall continued to show frustration with her son and with the situation of him confessing that he would not graduate on time without the 2 additional classes. When asked what aspect of this situation frustrated Chrystall most she replied “ the fact that he just doesn’t seem to care whether he graduates or not!” He doesn’t listen to what I am trying to tell him.” (due to chrystalls emotional state..i introduced deep breathing technique) Chrystall seemed to calm down after I introduced deep breathing exercises to her to help her to regain her composure.

Refining the story con’t I gathered more information about chrystall and her son by asking questions about the divorce and the living arrangements. I asked Chrystall if before the divorce did her son display any of these issues she has presented to me in session. I asked Chrystall if in her opinion did her son and his father have a good or a strained relationship.

Refining the Story Con’t I asked chrystall if she could recall her son’s attitude and behavioral patterns before, during and after the move from her, to Alaska and back to her. Chrystall seems to calm down as she discussed the answers to these questions becoming emotional at times, stating “ My poor son, has been through so much.”

Emotions, Identity, Power whorolePower (1-5)Emotions ChrystallMother5*****+ Son (Aaron)Son4*****+ Absent FatherFather5**-

Emotions, identity, Power Chrystall is frustrated with her son and his school situation Son seems to be struggling emotionally with separation issues and it is affecting his life home with his mom (Chrystall) Dad is in another state, resumed his life with a new family and is possibly unaware of his role in all of this.

Emotions, identity, Power Session 3 Gave Chrystall homework assignment Chrystall was instructed to contact the school and accompany her son to the school to sign up for on line courses. Chrystall was instructed to practice deep breathing techniques and count to 10 anytime she felt frustrated.

Session 3 con’t types of response to conflict Chrystall’s typical response to conflict was to become controlling and to yell. She indicated that her son Doesn’t listen, goofs off at school and “just wasn’t doing it her way,” and that caused her to get even more frustrated. She felt that her ex-husband was not attentive enough to their son and feels that because of this their son has grown lax in his studies and in life.

Crafting the Best Story session 4 Chrystall’s response to what she wanted to see happen: For her son to graduate, take life more seriously and to listen more and game less. We discussed coming up with a plan of action.. A to do list. We discussed how with good understanding of the situation, more energy could be utilized on getting the positive results as opposed to wasting all the time and energy running in circles. And by explaining in a calm manner who, what when where and why, you will get a better response every time.

Communication Chrystall was asked to make a list of things that she would like to address with her son, this list was to be drafted from most pressing issues to least pressing issues. Chrystall was then directed to along with her son, to go to the school and to identify what steps needed to be made to accomplish these tasks. By calming down the situation, Chrystall was able to see that it was not the end of the world, and that her situation was not a hopeless one.

Session 5 Evaluation and summary In the final session: Chrystall practiced and continues to apply all of the techniques discussed in session to all aspects of her life. Chrystall states that she and her son have a better relationship and actually talk a lot now. Chrystall’s son was able to get the online classes he needed to graduate and been working hard at those courses and hardly plays the computer games anymore. Chrystall, however..now enjoys playing the very computer game she complained about! Chrystall’s son has been seeing a counselor to deal with his separation issues and is doing well.