Continuing Adventures in Communication Active / “Dynamic” Listening By Nancy Scott, PhD Candidate University of Tennessee

Keys to Better Listening Acknowledge & remember: Effective listening is not a passive, one-way event/activity Eliminate barriers to really hearing what is said Develop skills & habits that help others tell / explain their story

Carkhuff’s Rules (for getting the most out of interpersonal communication) -- The Very Worst: ignoring, changing the subject, me-too - 2 nd Worst: giving advice (e.g., “Why don’t you…” “You should just…”) 0 Neutral Statements: restate / paraphrase + Gaining Ground: paraphrase both content & energy – “You seem [insert attitude/emotion word] because [insert your interpretation of the content]…” ++ Paraphrase content & energy, and add a DOOR-OPENER – Tack on something to get them talking… “Can you think of an example?” / “What are some details?” “Tell me about a time when that happened” / “Did that happen to you recently?” “Do you have any ideas about the cause / source [of the issue]?” “How big a deal is this?” “What kind of impact does that have on your day / life / career / etc?”

One Caveat… Be Authentic

Practice, practice, practice! -- So What’s, Ignoring, Me-too’s - Giving Advice 0 Restate or Paraphrase + Paraphrase Content and Energy ++ Paraphrase Content and Energy, then add a Door-Opener

Takeaway Points Benefits of practicing these skills – You get the whole story – You understand others better – You prevent quarrels / conflicts – You make people feel valued, respected, understood, etc – You build rapport & trust – You make people want to … rather than have to Drawbacks of practicing these skills – None –