Conflict Resolution with Power and Privilege in Mind Amy Benson, Steve Lew

9:00Introductions, Agenda, Agreements 10:00 Listening Skills, Communication Breakdowns, Inquiry Skills 10:40Break 11:00 Awareness of Conflict Styles & Social Privilege 12:15Lunch 1:15What’s Power Got to Do With It 2:00Observation Skills, Break, Empathy Skills 3:10Re-engage Using 60 second statement 4:05Your Next Steps 4:20Evaluation and Close 2

3 Step Up, Step Back Speak from “I” Intent is different from impact Ouch/Oops Communication Agreements

When have you had an authentic conversation? What made it authentic to you? For the Speaker: When was the last time you were fully listened to? What went well? What key ingredients were in the conversation? For the Listener: Practice focused listening. Ask questions.

When does your communication break down? On Page 9, look at the list of “Communication Breakdowns”. What did you observe about Richard & Maryann that contributed to the communication breakdown?

Inquiry 1 – refer back to your real life conflict or communication break down. 2 – what are 1 or 2 questions that would help me learn more about what’s going on for the other person? 3 – what questions can I ask the other person to disrupt their assumptions, consider another perspective, and help them connect to their values?

Understand Your Conflict Style: Teach Back! Avoid Accommodate Compete Compromise Collaborate

In your manual, place yourself on different parts of each line, by how close or how far you are to the center, and benefitting from social privilege.

Social group privilege is access, benefits, advantage that increase life chances, based on a mythical “norm”.

Communication Competencies FLO DC-4N Self aware Behaviors Empathy- self empathy Able to process emotions Cultural values and assumptions Aware of power Aware of triggers Listening Inquiry Observation Responsible feedback Take ownership and commit to personal change

Using Social Privilege 5 Tips for Being an Ally! 5 Tips for Being an Ally!

Power is the ability to shape outcomes for yourself, and others. Responsible uses Power OVER Power WITH Power UNDER Power WITHIN

Ladder of Inference How can you observe without judgment?

Skill of Observation 1- Turn to “Skill of Observation” worksheet in your manual 2 - Free Write for 5 minutes about “what happened” on the left- hand side of the page– feel free to be as “judge-y” as you want. Make assumptions. Blame the other person. 3 - When the bell chimes, you’re going spend 5 minutes on the right hand side of your page. Pick a few details in your story and see if you can turn them into neutral observations. For example: She got angry with me as soon as I mentioned the trip. She stormed out of the room.” becomes “I mentioned the trip and she frowned. A minute later she left the room quickly and didn’t respond.

Empathy and Self Empathy 5. Person B takes their turn in the same exercise 1. Pair Up & Take Turns as “A” & “B” 2. Person B interviews A about the concern. 3. Person A moves to another chair, takes on role of the person in conflict with A. 4. A moves back to their chair, and back to their perspective.

60 second statement: feedback * we will ring a chime when it’s time to move to the next step 1- Use the reflection questions on the 60-Second Statement page in your workbook to think about your conflict. 2- Underline the parts that you might want to share with the other person 3- Using the underlined words from your worksheet, draft a “60- second statement” that you could use to re-engage that person 4 - Share your statement out loud with your partner 5- Partner – listen for tone of voice, body language, anything that takes away from the speakers intended meaning or impact

Action Planning: Where Change Happens 17

What are your next steps?

Please complete your EVALUATION and leave at the entrance- thank you!

us! With your questions, reflections, success stories…