Truth and Service for Holistic Living The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People By Stephen Covey

Brainstorm Who is someone you know that “has it all together?” What is it about that person that makes them the way they are? What makes someone “effective?” i.e. - Is it who they are, what they do, or something else?

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change ebookee.net

About the Book “It’s a principle- centered, character- based, “inside-out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness.” (p.42) gurteen.com

Two Social Paradigms What’s a paradigm? “a model, theory, perception, assumption, or frame of reference” (p.23) ”the lens through which we see the world” (p.32)

Two Social Paradigms The “Personality Ethic” Paradigm: “Success is a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction” (p.19) “Keeping up appearances”

Two Social Paradigms The “Character Ethic” Paradigm: There are basic principles of effective living, and people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character (p.32) e.g.- fairness, integrity and honesty, human dignity, service, quality, excellence, growth, patience, encouragement, nurturance (p.34)

Time for a Paradigm Shift? (Classroom experiment)

(Covey, p.25)

(Covey, p.45)

How old is this woman? exced.net

Time for a Paradigm Shift? “We need to be responsible for being aware of our paradigms” (p.29) Covey advocates a “character ethic” Map analogy to living under a particular paradigm (p.23)

Inside-out Approach “Inside-out” means: Start first with yourself...the most inside part of yourself (i.e. - your paradigms, character, and motives) Private (personal) victories precede public (interpersonal) victories (p.43) lukechueh.com

Does it make more sense now? “It’s a principle- centered, character- based, “inside-out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness.” (p.42) gurteen.com

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” (quoted from Aristotle, B.C.) “Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits.” (p.46) Why 7 Habits?

What’s a Habit? A habit is the intersection of: Knowledge (what to do) Skill (how to do) Desire (want to do) joselise.com

What’s a Habit? Habits are fundamental to the development of personal and interpersonal effectiveness (p.49) Habits move us progressively along the “Maturity Continuum” dependent (“You take care of me.”) independent (“I can do it.”) interdependent (“We can combine our efforts and create something greater together.”)

Outline of 7 Habits Habits 1-3 : Dependence -> Independence (Private Victories) Habits 4-6 : Independence -> Interdependence (Public Victories) Habit 7 : “Sharpening the Saw”

Habit 1: Be Proactive canada.proactiv.com acne.treatmentblog.com

Habit 1: Be Proactive Paradigm 1: Determinism (p.68) “We are determined (we have no control).” Genetic determinism Psychic determinism Environmental determinism

Habit 1: Be Proactive Paradigm 2: Proactive Model “We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.” Responsibility = “Response-ability” Behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions (p.71)

Habit 1: Be Proactive (Covey, p.71)

Habit 1: Be Proactive Uniquely human endowments that give us the ability to choose (p.70): Self-awareness - ability to think about our thought process and examine the way we see ourselves Imagination - ability to create in our minds a reality outside the present Conscience - awareness of right/wrong and the degree to which our actions are in harmony with our understanding of “right” Independent will - ability to act, free of all other influences

Habit 1: Be Proactive Grow in Self-awareness! Task: What’s in your circle of concern (p.81)? Circle of Concern

Habit 1: Be Proactive What’s in your circle of influence? Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Proactive people focus their time and energy within their circle of influence!

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind bundlesofblossoms.blogspot.com

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Task: visualization exercise (p.96) Begin today with the picture of the end of your life as your frame of reference by which everything else is examined “All things are created twice” 1. mental 2. physical randomrefractions.com

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Personal Management Managers ask: “How can I best accomplish certain things?” 2nd creation Doing things right Personal leadership Leaders ask: “What are the things I want to accomplish?” 1st creation Doing the right things

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Are you doing more leading or managing in your life? Efficient management without effective leadership is like: “straightening desk chairs on the Titanic” “climbing the ladder of success, but not realizing it’s leaning against the wrong wall” betterschoolfood.com

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind What are you leaning on? i.e. - What’s at the center of your life? Whatever is at the center of your life will be your source of security, guidance, wisdom, and power

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Security: sense of worth, identity, and emotional anchorage Guidance: source of direction in life Wisdom: perspective on life Power: capacity to act (Covey, p.110)

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Possible centers: Spouse-centeredness Family-centeredness Money-centeredness Work-centeredness Possession-centeredness Pleasure-centeredness Friend-centeredness Enemy-centeredness Religious institution- centeredness Self-centeredness

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind Covey: “principle-centered” living Principles are deep, fundamental, timeless truths (p.122) e.g.- fairness, integrity and honesty, human dignity, service, quality, excellence, growth, patience, encouragement, nurturance (p.34)

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind What are YOUR principles? Task: Brainstorm your own principles, then write them in a Personal Mission Statement (p.106) a fundamentally changeless document the standard by which every action is measured

Habit 3: Put First Things First trustit.ca

Habit 3: Put First Things First Question: In your life, what is one thing you could do (that you are NOT doing now) that if you did on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your life?

Habit 3: Put First Things First Habit 1: You have the choice. You can be responsible (“response-able”). Habit 2: Make a vision that will guide your choices (mental creation). Habit 3: Take the steps to fulfill your vision (physical creation).

Habit 3: Put First Things First “The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity...it’s our ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves, to “walk our talk.” (p.148)

Habit 3: Put First Things First How can I find the time to fit everything in? “Time management” is a misnomer The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves! (p.150) bluesteps.com

Habit 3: Put First Things First THE TIME MANAGEMENT MATRIX (4 QUADRANTS) UrgentNot Urgent Important 1. Crises, pressing problems, deadline-driven projects 2. Prevention, relationship building, planning, recognizing new opportunities, recreation Not Important 3. Interruptions, some calls, some mail, some meetings, popular activities 4. Trivial things, busy work, time wasters, some mail, some phone calls, pleasant activities (Covey, p. 151)

Habit 3: Put First Things First Implications: Continual focus on “Urgent” Activities in Quadrants 1&3 leads to stress and burnout, and makes us feel victimized. “Finding Relief” often leads to an escape to Quadrant 4 activities.

Habit 3: Put First Things First “Quadrant 2 is the heart of effective personal management” (p.153) Results of a Quadrant 2 focus: Take care of things that are important to you (put your principles into practice) Fewer Quadrant 1&3 “crises” develop

Habit 3: Put First Things First How do we move into Quadrant 2? Identify what quadrants your daily activities generally fall under Learn to say “no” to some activities -- even sometimes apparently urgent things. “The way to say no is to have a bigger yes burning inside” (p.157)

Habit 3: Put First Things First Organizing for a Quadrant 2 Focus: 1. Identifying Roles 2. Selecting Goals 3. Scheduling (4. Daily adapting) hadith-elmadina.com

Habit 3: Put First Things First Task: 1. Take 2 minutes to write down the different roles you have in your remaining time as a Payap student (e.g. - family member, friend, student, worker, sports club member, etc.) 2. Take 4 minutes to write down 2-3 goals for each of those roles (goals to achieve by the time you graduate).

Habits 1-3 : Dependence -> Independence (Private Victories) Habits 4-6 : Independence -> Interdependence (Public Victories) imageshack.us stores.homestead.com

Habit 4: Think Win/Win sagestone.files.wordpress.com

Habit 4: Think Win/Win Some Paradigms of Human Interaction: Win/Win Win/Lose Lose/Win Lose/Lose Win kmbeing.files.wordpress.com

Habit 4: Think Win/Win Task (in groups): 1. Read Covey’s explanation of the paradigm you have been given. 2. Prepare the following about your paradigm: A one-sentence summary A real-life example of this paradigm Strengths and weak points you see within this paradigm 3. Delegate one team member to share your group’s information with the class.

Habit 4: Think Win/Win “Character is the foundation of Win/Win” 1. Integrity - the value we place on ourselves (“walk the talk”) 2. Maturity - expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others 3. Abundance mentality - the belief that there is plenty out there for everyone (not a zero-sum world)

Habit 4: Think Win/Win Go one step beyond Win/Win... Win/Win or No Deal “If we can’t find a solution that would benefit us both, we agree to disagree agreeably -- No Deal.” No overwhelming expectations are made, no need for manipulation pearsonified.com

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood creating-yourlife.com

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood “Optometrist analogy” (p.236) “You don’t have much confidence in someone who doesn’t diagnose before he or she prescribes.” eyecarevouchers.com

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Five Levels of Listening 1. Ignoring 2. Pretending 3. Selective Listening 4. Attentive Listening 5. Empathetic Listening cdn.stylishandtrendy.com

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Empathetic listening (p.240): listening with the intent to understand (not to make a judgment) get inside another person’s frame of reference NOT sympathetic listening: an agreement with the speaker (a form of judgment)

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Task: “Suggestions to become a better empathetic listener” Work together as a group to rank the suggestions on the list from 1-7 (1=most important) - 10 minutes If your group thinks a suggestion should not be included on the list, you can cross it off the list. (Select one person from your group to be a secret agent. They will have a special task and will not contribute to your group’s decision.)

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Task: Suggestions to become a better empathetic listener: ___ Look at the speaker and make eye contact. ___ Avoid finishing the other person’s sentences for them. ___ Use positive body language (e.g. - nodding your head, don’t cross your arms) to show you are listening. ___ Ask questions to get the speaker to share more of their opinion. ___ Repeat what the speaker said in your own words to make sure you understood the speaker. ___ Share you opinion about everything the speaker says. ___ Pay attention to what the speaker is communicating through their body language.

Habit 6: Synergize paddyk.files.wordpress.com

Habit 6: Synergize Synergy: “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” (p.263) By bringing all our resources together, we can create a better result together than could be done individually visualfunhouse.com

Habit 6: Synergize Valuing differences is what drives synergy. “Because I value you, I value your perception -- I want to understand.” (p.278)

Review of Habits/Principles Habit 1: Be Proactive (Principle of Personal Vision) Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind (Principle of Personal Leadership) Habit 3: Put First Things First (Principle of Personal Management) Habit 4: Think Win/Win (Principle of Interpersonal Leadership) Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood (Principle of Empathetic Communication) Habit 6: Synergize (Principle of Creative Cooperation) andyrkelly.com

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw (Principle of Balanced Self-Renewal) thesawblog.wordpress.com

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw “Tree-cutting story” (p.287) Habit 7 is the habit that makes all others possible Sharpening the saw: expressing and exercising all 4 dimensions of our nature, regularly and consistently, in wise and balanced ways (p.289) img.ehowcdn.com

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Physical dimension: caring effectively for your physical body Spiritual dimension: your core, your center, your commitment to your value system -- it draws upon the sources that inspire you Mental dimension: informing and expanding your mind on a regular basis Social/Emotional dimension: relationships with self and others, your sense of intrinsic security

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw 4 Dimensions of Renewal: Physical Spiritual Mental Social/Emotional

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw “Daily Private Victory”: a minimum of one hour a day in renewal is the key to the development of the Seven Habits, and it’s completely within your Circle of Influence (p.304) Taking time to “Sharpen the Saw” is a Quadrant 2 activity (important, not urgent)

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Task: Brainstorm “Sharpening the Saw” activities for one dimension of renewal Work together with your group Write down your list (one dimension) Share your list with the class (Hand in list -- will compile and post to blog)

A Closing Thought “There is a gap or space between stimulus and response, and the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.” (p. 310)