Passing the Torch 2: Goals for Nurturing Children in Home and Church Dr. Tim Sisemore Richmont Graduate University

Parenting is like miniature golf!

Tripp’s Improper Goals  Developing special skills  Psychological adjustment  Saved children  Family worship  Well-behaved children  Good education  Simply control

Tripp’s Suggestion for a Goal  Children who glorify God and enjoy him forever

Sisemore’s Suggestion for a Goal  To raise children through guidance and discipline to faith in Christ, so that they may glorify him in every area of their lives, eventually passing the faith on to their children.

The Environment: Faith Transmission  Parents are most important influence on children’s faith (other than God, of course!)  Influence directly – Religious socialization – Modeling and relationship  Indirectly – Selection of contexts of development – Provision of a Christian community (church)

Parents as Environment  Fearing the Lord (Pr. 14:26-27; 31:30)  Parents as models (Pr. 31:28 –kids notice!) – Showing integrity in the midst of an image conscious world – Modeling a marriage – Modeling love (Pr. 15:16-17)

 Providing financially while modeling good values about money (2 Cor. 12:14; 1 Tim. 5:8)  Nurture and admonition (Eph. 6:4) – Nurture: shaping the will through discipline – Admonition: shaping the mind through teaching Parents as Environment

 Not exasperating or embittering (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21) – Not too lenient or too strict – Not arbitrary in rules or consequences – Not policing without nurturing – Or nurturing without policing – Forgetting our sinfulness while surprised at that of our children – Not trusting when children have earned it

Framing a Faith  Faith is a gift (Ep. 2:8-9) – God’s to give – We prepare the child’s heart  The faith of a child – Age of accountability? – Decisions? – Genuineness of conversions?

Your mission…  Consider the implications in your family of the goals we have discussed  Consider your strategies as parents: is all you do consistent with the ultimate goal?  What might you need to change?  Do you and your spouse agree on this?  Begin thinking about your child’s eduation

Children in the Church

Children and Baptism  Circumcision a sign to parents in the Old Testament  Would God then NOT give a sign to parents in the New Testament?  Admittedly argued from inference…either way  Clearly the majority opinion in church history

Meanings of Baptism  Sign of covenant promises  Sign of membership in the believing community  Forgiveness of sin (ultimately of the heart)  Repentance and faith (anticipated)  Regeneration (an event vs. a process)

Children and Communion  Parallels Passover in OT  Requires examination (1 Cor 11:28)  Penalty for sacrilege (1 Cor 11:29)  So, children to abstain, and learn from parents until: – Clear profession of faith – Able to properly prepare

Praying  Problem: Often pray selfishly for ease, comfort, convenience  Not so in Biblical prayers  For example, Ephesians 3:17-20: – I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power…to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Suggestions for Praying For Your Children  Salvation  Protection from the world  Fruit of the Spirit  Beatitudes  Phil 4:8: thinking on these things (true, noble, etc.)  Alone and with spouse  With diligence

Suggested Reading

Family Worship  Historically seen as vital  Ascribing worth to God, more than a devotional thought  Teaches children worship  Elements: – Bible reading and explanation; some topical studies – Prayer: individual, Lord’s – Singing

Family Worship  Ideally “bed and breakfast” plan  Use Sat nights to prepare for Sunday  Keeping Sabbath as a family  Consider Alexander’s “Thought on Family Worship”

Children in Corporate Worship  No evidence of children excluded from worship in Bible  Problem of splitting families in worship  Teach children elements  Some churches actually print separate bulletins for children to understand  Review as a family  Remember they see YOUR attitude! – Worship in spirit and in truth

Children in the Church Community  Age segregation comes largely from education and developmental psychology  Great for education, poor for community  One of the beauties of these Wednesday nights is the entire community together at dinner – Where else does that take place?

Children and the Faith Community: CHURCH  Opportunities for children/youth to serve the rest of the church?  Opportunities to participate in worship? Collecting communion cups Helping ushers Music Reading Scripture Others?  Pray for Me is great!  Generational: HS mentors or assistant SS teachers for middle school? Middle school mentors for elementary? Teens serve adults/seniors? –Leave classroom and DO love, not just learn it Others?  Leaders: Do our children and youth feel needed in our community?

Children and the Faith Community: PARENTS  Receiving – Are your children involved in church ministries? SS? Wednesday nights? Youth group?  Giving – Are your children contributing to the community? Youth doing things for others? Praying? Visiting? Sending cards?

Other Ways to Integrate Children into the Community?