Commentary Writing Sophomore English Uncoiling

Chunk Structure – what I want you to write away from… CD: the technique you’re going to talk about and the lines/examples you’re discussing…often a direct quotation from the poem. CM: the effect of the technique CM: how the technique fits into the meaning of the poem

Paragraphing the old way, in “chunks” - Technique: Structure CD: The structure of Mora’s poem creates uneven stanza lengths, that burst randomly from the left margin. CM: Each line looks as if the wind has scattered it to and fro. CM: This enhances the power the poet gives to the wind, as if it could even reach the text on a still page.

Paragraphing the old way, in “chunks” - Technique: Personification TS: Mora uses extended personification to add dimension to the tornado. CD: She opens the poem, “With thorns, she scratches / on my window, tosses her hair dark with rain, / snares lightning…” (lines 1-3). CM: By having the tornado scratch, toss, and snare, in the very beginning, the subject of the poem moves about quickly, but also creates a furious character – one on a tirade of destruction. CM: This movement also gives a violent personality to the tornado – a personality of scraping thorns, moving darkness powerful enough to snare lightning; thus, showing the power of nature. CD: Although the wind’s fierce persona is emphasized throughout the poem, Mora also brings her to rest in lines 19-22, “until she becomes / sound, spins herself to sleep, sand stringing her ankles, whirring into her raw skin like stars.” CM: The poet slows down the movement of the wild woman by putting her to sleep, then giving the reader the image of the last bits of the windy vortex winding down to the earth by having them focus on her ankles. CM: This winds the poem to a close as the tempest of the woman is stilled; it gives the full scope of her person as she, like all, must rest after exertion. CS: Creating the personification helps the reader see the tornado as a woman on a tirade to accentuate its violent and destructive nature.

Weaving Paragraph Sample Mora uses extended personification to add dimension to the tornado. By having the tornado “scratch,” “toss,” and “snare,” (lines 1-3) in the very beginning, the subject of the poem moves about quickly, but also creates a furious character – one on a tirade of destruction. This movement also gives a violent personality to the tornado – a personality of scraping thorns, moving darkness powerful enough to snare lightning; thus, showing the power of nature. Although the wind’s fierce persona is emphasized throughout the poem, Mora also brings her to rest in lines 19-22, slowing down the movement of the wild woman by putting her to sleep, then giving the reader the image of the last bits of the windy vortex winding down to the earth by having them focus on her ankles “until she becomes / sound” (22). This winds the poem to a close as the tempest of the woman “spins herself to sleep” (21) until she is stilled; it gives the full scope of her person as she, like all, must rest after exertion. Creating the personification helps the reader see the tornado as a woman on a tirade to accentuate its violent and destructive nature.

What do you see for each of these: techniques, connotations, tone connections, meaning of the evidence in its relation to theme… “roars, and rivers leap” “snares lightning”

You need 4 different colored pens You need 4 different colored pens. Now, look at the paragraph in front of you… Put a star next to the topic sentence if it covers all of the subjects in the paragraph. Underline in one color all of the concrete details/evidence from the poem. Underline in a different color all commentary that connects to the evidence’s connotations. Underline in a different color all commentary that connects to the way the evidence creates the tone or mood of the poem. Underline in a different color all commentary that connects the evidence to the poem’s overall meaning.