Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood Chapter 14

Socioemotional Development Revolves around adaptively integrating our emotional experience ....into enjoyable relations with others .....on a daily basis Early adult years determine what later adulthood might be like

Socioemotional Development Temperament Fewer emotional mood swings than in adolescence More responsible Less risk taking Temperament in childhood linked to adjustment in adulthood

Socioemotional Development Attachment Adults count on their romantic partners to be a secure base For comfort and security in stressful times

Socioemotional Development Attachment Styles for Adults Secure Attachment- have positive views of relationships, tend to enjoy sexuality and commitment Avoidant attachment- are hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships and even then tend to distance themselves Anxious attachment - demand closeness, are less trusting, and are more emotional, jealous, and possessive

Socioemotional Development Attraction Studies: Immediate impressions can be accurate Familiarity is an important condition for a close relationship to develop Friends and lovers are much more like us than unlike us They tend to have similar attitudes, values, lifestyles, and physical attractiveness But for some characteristics... Opposites may attract

Socioemotional Development Consensual validation Why individuals are attracted to people who are similar to them Our own attitudes and behavior are supported and validated when someone else's attitudes and behavior are similar to our own People tend to shy away from the unknown

Socioemotional Development Online attraction 16 million in the US tried Internet matchmaking Catfish-Someone who fakes an identity on line Many misrepresent their characteristics Interpersonal connection may be difficult But may benefit shy or anxious individuals

Socioemotional Development Online attraction Research: Internet relationships more likely to last more than two years compared to regular 1/3 of marriages now begin online, and were slightly less likely to break up, with slightly higher marital satisfaction

Socioemotional Development Friendships 92% of women and 88% of men have a best friend of the same sex Cross-gender friendships are more common among adults than children But less common than same-gender friendships in adulthood Good for learning about feelings and interests of the other gender Problematic when cross-gender friendship has unclear sexual boundaries..... can cause tension and confusion

Socioemotional Development Romantic Love (passionate love)- strong components of sexuality and infatuation Often predominates early in a love relationship Affectionate love- (companionate love)- an individual desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the other person

Socioemotional Development Sternberg Triangle of Love (page 440) Three Dimensions Passion - physical and sexual attraction (romantic love) Intimacy - emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing Commitment- Cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain, even in the face of problems

Socioemotional Development Sternberg Triangle of Love (page 440) The strongest form of love is Consummate Love Involves all three dimensions Infatuation, Affectionate love, and Fatuous (from afar) love ... One or more of the dimensions is missing

Socioemotional Development Sternberg Triangle of Love (page 440) Infatuation - Passion only Affectionate - Passion is missing Fatuous - intimacy is missing

Socioemotional Development Falling out of love- Can be tragic...... But personal development may benefit from ending a close relationship Can cause depression, sexual dysfunction, health problems, work problems etc.

Socioemotional Development Single Adults Percentage of single (unmarried) adults is rising Challenges may include Forming intimate relationships with other adults Confronting loneliness Finding a niche in a society that is marriage oriented

Socioemotional Development Single Adults Advantages having time to make decisions about one's life course Time to develop personal resources to meet goals Freedom to make autonomous decisions Pursue one's own schedule and interests Opportunities to explore new places and find out new things Privacy

Socioemotional Development Cohabiting Adults Living together in a sexual relationship without being married Dramatic increase in US couples May not be viewed as a precursor to marriage but as an ongoing lifestyle May just want to spend time together, share expenses, and evaluate compatibility

Socioemotional Development Cohabiting Adults - Problems Disapproval of family can be stressful Difficulty purchasing and owning property jointly Legal rights when the relationship ends Research if they marry: lower rates of satisfaction Higher rates of divorce

Socioemotional Development Married Adults More adults are remaining single longer 27% of US adults never marry But overall US is still a marrying society Average duration of a marriage in the US is just over 9 years Benefits of marriage include better physical and mental health and a longer life

Socioemotional Development Premarital Education Can help improve the quality of a marriage Linked to higher level of marital satisfaction, commitment, and lower level of destructive marital conflict and divorce

Socioemotional Development Divorced Adults - Epidemic in the US Rate has dropped-but continues to be one of the highest in the world Nearly half of all marriages will break up within 20 years

Socioemotional Development Divorced Adults - Higher incidence Youth, low SES, those with no religious affiliation, parents who are divorced, having a baby before marriage

Socioemotional Development Divorced Adults - Higher incidence if partner... Alcoholism Psychological problems Domestic violence Infidelity Inadequate division of household labor

Socioemotional Development Divorced Adults - Higher rates of depression Anxiety Physical illnesses Suicide Motor vehicle accidents Alcoholism Mortality Complain of loneliness, and diminished self-esteem

Socioemotional Development Remarried Adults Men remarry sooner than women Recent decline in remarriages due to increased cohabitation

Socioemotional Development Remarried Families More likely to be more unstable than first marriages, with divorce more likely to occur Adults who remarry have a lower level of mental health... But often improve financial status Many find difficulty with remarriage because it is not for love.... But for financial reasons Help with rearing children Reduce loneliness

Socioemotional Development Gay and Lesbian Adults Very similar --in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflicts-- to heterosexual relationships Lesbian couples place high priority on equality in their relationships Lesbian couples are five times more likely to be raising children than gay couples

Socioemotional Development Gay and Lesbian Adult Misconceptions One partner is masculine and the other feminine ....in only a small percentage of couples Small segment of gay population has a large number of sexual partners ... And is uncommon in lesbians

Socioemotional Development Gay and Lesbian Adult Concerns The Stigma, prejudice and discrimination But many feel like these concerns may bring them closer together

Socioemotional Development Gottman-7 Practices that help marriage succeed: Love Maps to express their understanding of each other and their fondness and admiration Nurture fondness and admiration (sing praise) Turn toward each other regularly, as friends Let your partner influence you, share power, equality in decision making Solve solvable conflicts, negotiating and accommodating each other Overcome gridlock to dialogue and patience Create shared meaning, sharing goals and working together to achieve each other's goals

Socioemotional Development Parenting Myths The birth of a child will save a failing marriage The child will think, feel, and behave as the parent did in his or her childhood Having a child gives the parents a "second chance' to achieve what they should have achieved Parenting is instinctual and requires no training

Socioemotional Development Parenting requires: Many interpersonal skills Imposes emotional demands Many parents, parents as they were parented ... So each parent may have different styles

Socioemotional Development Childbearing Trends Average age for women is about 25 Birth control has become common One-child families is increasing By having fewer children -reducing the demands of childcare (women freed up) Men are apt to invest more time in fathering Parental care is supplemented by child care More women are developing a career Parents have more time for their goals

Socioemotional Development Hetherington Strategies for divorced adults (page 452) Think of divorce as a chance to grow personally and develop more positive relationships Make decisions carefully.. Regarding work, loves, and children Focus on the future Use your strengths and resources to cope Don't expect to be successful and happy in everything you do Remember 'you are never trapped by one pathway"