Ch. 4 Supporting Families with Autonomy-Seeking Youngsters CD 11 Dr. Gallegos

Learning Outcomes In this chapter you will learn to… Explain why this chapter focuses on toddlers and autonomy Identify the signs of developing autonomy in toddlers Explain what adults can do to address toddler behaviors that have to do with power and control issues Explain how to help toddlers cope with loss and separation Describe the role of professionals in parenting with parents and list some strategies for doing so.

Signs of Developing Autonomy The most notable toddlers behaviors are exploration, self-help skills, and a sense of possession NEGATIVITY-Child finds power in his/her ability to do for themselves Life becomes a struggle because he/she is so busy asserting their individuality. If adults use the word no as the primary means of managing behavior, the first “no’s” of their children may be imitations of adults https://youtu.be/qeRWD2sXmoI Exploration Exploration starts in infancy, grows out of attachment and a sense of trust and increases as children move toward autonomy. It may seem ironic that a child who is firmly attached explores more than on e who is not. Toddlers explore with their hands-and use their r other senses as well Toddlers are “doers” but not “producers.” Meaning they explore, experiment, and try things out to see what will happen. They enjoy the process of exploring and experimenting for its own sake and they don’t need anything to show for it.

(cont.)Signs of Developing Autonomy Self-Help Skills Another behavior that indicates growing autonomy is the push for self- help skills. Children who aren't allowed to touch or to try things on their own get a message about their own capabilities. When restricted to an extreme, they can lose their curiosity, their willingness to take risks, and their drive to be independent of others and do things for themselves. Promoting interdependence isn’t the same in all cultures. Self-feeding For some, the goal to self-feeding is learning to help others rather than helping oneself. When a teacher and a parent see something like self-feeding from different perspectives, arguments and angry feelings can result.

(cont.)Signs of Developing Autonomy Toilet Training or Toilet Learning Toileting toddlers is another area where values of independence and interdependence can collide. When most professionals discuss toilet learning, they consider it from the independence perspective. The advice is to watch for signs of readiness, which fall into three general categories: physical, intellectual, & emotional. Physical readiness means the ability to hold on and let go. Intellectual readiness is when the children tell the adult after eliminating or indicate in other ways that they are aware and can communicate what is happening with their own bodies. Emotional readiness comes when children show a willingness to use a potty or a toilet instead of diapers. (The timing for these signs varies with each individual.)

(cont.)Signs of Developing Autonomy An adult with a priority of interdependence may look at toileting from an entirely different point of view. Readiness takes on a whole different meaning when the goal is interdependence This approach emphasizes the training aspect rather than the learning aspect of toileting. Professionals in the U.S.A frown on training children during the first year of life, partly because in the past this approach has sometimes been associated with using harsh methods. Here’s how toilet training using a conditioning method works. Timing is crucial and knowing their baby’s regularity. It’s the adult who is trained in knowing the child’s bodily function and the child is not the adults schedule.

(cont.)Signs of Developing Autonomy Sense of Possession It is important to note that not all cultures are object-oriented to the same extent and that not all regard personal possessions as important. Without a firm sense of possession, children can’t truly understand the concept of sharing. https://youtu.be/FxCGXSH6m_4 (Sharing)

Dealing with Issues of Power & Control Set-Up Developmentally Appropriate Environment Not all families have the kind of living conditions that allow them to set up a developmentally appropriate environment. Not all communities have outdoor spaces set up for children that are developmentally appropriate. When toddlers spend their time in an environment that is appropriate for their age and encourage exploration, they wont be faced with so many no’s. If they don’t have to hear the word no, they may decrease their own usage of the word. It is worth encouraging parents to think about what kind of environment says “yes” to toddlers and then arranging things so that where toddlers spend their time affirms their developmental needs. At this stage they touch, explore, try things out, and use their bodies to learn about the world. Their natural inclination is to climb, push, poke, prod, and perform a huge variety of other movements. They need a safe place to do all this-a place where they feel empowered rather than prohibited.

(cont.) Dealing with Issues of Power & Control Appreciate Play Children gain power through playing. They play with themselves, other people, and objects. Playing is primary way that toddlers learn. Some children find their own bodies endlessly fascinating. Toddlers play with things. Anything within reach becomes a toy, as children reach out to learn about their world and the objects in it. They use all their senses. The typical child care program today relies on toys and other objects as part of its curriculum and many programs have an abundance of things in their environments. Play has roots in imitation. From birth babies imitate what they see.

(cont.) Dealing with Issues of Power & Control Self-Help Skills Encourage children to do for themselves what they are capable of; don’t do for them what they can do for themselves. When independence is a priority, teaching self-help skills as a way of empowerment starts in infancy as the adult includes the child as a full partner in caregiving routines. Perfectionism on the part pf the adult tends to discourage young children’s self- help skills. Remember that modeling is a powerful teaching tool with adults as well as with children. Give Choices Help toddlers feel powerful by laying out options instead of giving a single directive. When you regard learning to make choices as important, you give children practice when they are young so that as they are young so that as they grow up they have had experience with making choices and living with the consequences.

(cont.) Dealing with Issues of Power & Control Provide Control Provide the control toddlers need Set Limits Setting limits and enforcing them is part of this long-term process with the goal of good community members and productive citizens. Setting limits and enforcing them empowers children by giving them freedom within those limits Children will test limits until they find that they hold. It also helps to understand that to empower a child and provide security at the same time, it is necessary to set limits and hold to them. Because toddlers are persistent and are still discovering things about the world, you can also expect those limits to be tested until the toddler is satisified that they’re firm.

Coping with Loss and Separation Separation in small steps Separation issues start in infancy and continue into toddlerhood and beyond; they are never handled once and for all Lack of control can be very scary because it means that coping mechanisms don’t work in the same way as they do during waking periods. It is easier for children if they first experience separation in small steps. Sleeping alone is one of these small steps, although all families don’t agree with babies sleeping by themselves. Also having a babysitter or attending a child care center. With a succession of periods away from the parent(s), wither at home or away from home, children come to trust that the attachment holds and that they will be reunited.

Coping with Loss and Separation Entering child Adjusting-the first experiences short so child gets to know the place and the people. By being left for only an hour or so in the beginning, the child learns that the parent will return after a time. If the day is gradually lengthened, the child gets used to it and it’s not a shock. Accepting feelings-When strong feelings are a part of the good-byes, it’s important to acknowledge and accept the feelings rather than distracting the child from them. Better to be empathetic about the feelings and reassuring without discounting them. Coping-Some children are comforted and reassured by what’s called a transition object (some kind of comfort device, such as a stuffed animal or a favorite blanket).