MINI LESSON– paper presentation

HEADINGS LOOK LIKE THIS Iman A. Student Bowser English 8 26 August 2014 HEADINGS LOOK LIKE THIS

Iman A. Student Bowser English 8 26 August 2014 I Dig Archaeology TITLES LOOK LIKE THIS

TITLES DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS Iman A. Student Bowser English 8 26 August 2014 CAREER PARAGRAPH! TITLES DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS

Iman A. Student Bowser English 8 26 August 2014 Why I should be a lawyer OR THIS

Iman A. Student Bowser English 8 26 August 2014 Archaeology Rocks Archaeology is the most interesting subject I have ever encountered. There will be many more words that you, the author, will write on this subject. PAPERS LOOK LIKE THIS

Iman A. Student Bowser English 8 26 August 2014 ARCHAEOLOGY ROCKS Archaeology is the most interesting subject I have ever encountered. There will be many more words that you, the author, will write on this subject. NOT THIS

I have always loved archaeology it teaches one about a culture through old artifacts and ruins. Correction: I have always loved archaeology; it teaches one about a culture through old artifacts and ruins. I love to study ancient cultures, I wouldn’t mind going in the desert I can take the heat, I also love to travel. Correction: I love to study ancient cultures. I wouldn’t mind the desert because I can take the heat and I also love to travel. RUN ON SENTENCES

NOUN/PRONOUN AGREEMENT I started sketching people and animals when I was four, then I would give it to my younger brother to color. Correction: I started sketching people and animals when I was four; then I would give them to my younger brother to color. Once I got a good idea of a character’s appearance, I would sketch them and sometimes color them. Correction: Once I got a good idea of a character’s appearance, I would sketch, and sometimes color, her. NOUN/PRONOUN AGREEMENT

I love all kinds of food, but if I had to choose one to be a job, I would be a baker. A food is not a job. CLARITY AND LOGIC

One of the best things I have ever felt is when I first see a batch of cookies come out of the oven. Feeling and seeing are two different senses. CLARITY AND LOGIC

My career that I would like to pursue is being a programmer… If it is already your career, then why would you pursue it? CLARITY AND LOGIC

People are always wondering, “What do you want to be when you grow up What people think does not go in quotation marks. Quotes go in quotation marks. CLARITY AND LOGIC

When I was younger I used to play doctor with my brother where I was the doctor and he was the patient. Where is a place not a time. CLARITY AND LOGIC

CLARITY AND LOGIC To me it seems so interesting how the body works So interesting that what? Finish the sentence. Or how about: I am fascinated by how the body works. CLARITY AND LOGIC

I thought about a lot of things, of course one of them being what job I would have … Correction: I thought about a lot of things. One of them was what job I would have. And while we’re on the subject, ‘a lot’ is non-standard English and should not be used. The introductory phrase doesn’t really say anything; it is simply taking up space. Rephrase for a clearer and more interesting sentence. VERB CHOICE

SPLIT INFINITIVE I used to always play with them. Correction: I always used to play with them. SPLIT INFINITIVE

I would like to be a programmer because it had gotten my interest early on and being able to work hard in such a fun way is always good. Correction: I would like to be a programmer because programming interested me early on and having fun while working hard is always good. ACTIVE VOICE

PUNCTUATION I became interested in fashion when I was very young! Correction: I became interested in fashion when I was very young. Do not overuse exclamation points. Using an exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke. You’d better not do it unless it is absolutely unavoidable. PUNCTUATION

I became interested in fashion at a young age I became interested in fashion at a young age. (first sentence of the paragraph) I have liked fashion since I was small. (fifth sentence of the paragraph) Check your paper to make sure that you have not repeated yourself. REDUNDANCY

PROOFREAD Make sure that you: Haven’t left out words Haven’t misused a word Have written as cleanly and concisely as you can Have written exactly what you meant Used the exact word that you needed rather than one that “would do” Edited all unnecessary words and tightened all phrases PROOFREAD

Go forth and write a great paragraph.