How to Maximize Marriage Matthew 5:31-32 How to Maximize Marriage

October 16, 1995 Ethical Issues in Contemporary Ministry Dr. James Grier, Grand Rapids Baptist Seminary Title: The Morality of Divorce and Remarriage The final paragraph… The opening paragraph...

I. Analysis of the Present Text “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’” (Matthew 5:31, NKJV)

A. The presenting issue: The limits of personal expediency There was a rabbinical disagreement over the interpretation and application of Deut. 24:1-4 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife,” (Deuteronomy 24:1–2, NKJV)

Deuteronomy 24:3-4 “if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:3–4, NKJV)

Leviticus 20:10 & Deut. 22:22 “The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.” (Leviticus 20:10, NKJV) “If a man is found lying with a woman married to a husband, then both of them shall die—the man that lay with the woman, and the woman; so you shall put away the evil from Israel.” (Deuteronomy 22:22, NKJV)

Jeremiah 3:1 “They say, ‘If a man divorces his wife, And she goes from him And becomes another man’s, May he return to her again?’ Would not that land be greatly polluted? But you have played the harlot with many lovers; Yet return to Me,” says the Lord.” (Jeremiah 3:1, NKJV)

Jeremiah 3:8 “Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also.” (Jeremiah 3:8, NKJV)

Matthew 19:3-6 “The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (NKJV)

Matthew 19:7-10 “They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”” (NKJV)

Matthew 5:32 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (NKJV)

B. The general principles: The notion of divine intention Divorce is not morally acceptable… Divorce is a potential cause for the charge of adultery… A man marrying a divorces woman is noted as committing adultery… This brings up the question of what does dissolve the marriage bond…

Romans 7:2-3 “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.” (Romans 7:2–3, NKJV)

Matthew 5:32 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:32, NKJV)

C. The fine print: The inclusion of divine exception The principle of marital permanence is stated in multiple places The first exception is stated twice in Matthew A second exception is noted by Paul in 1 Cor 7:15 “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:15, NKJV)

II. Delineation of Concluding Principles A. The formal conclusion of my paper There is a correlation between the application of God’s laws and our good There are a variety of ways people respond to the complex problem of interpreting these texts The general statements and principles are clear, but so are the exceptions Thus divorce and remarriage are morally wrong except when qualified by Scripture…

B. Some concluding principles and implications The principles of marriage: Marriage is a covenant relationship of companionship Marriage was established by God when He brought Adam & Eve together Marriage includes the designation of specific roles and responsibilities for husband and wife

The principles of divorce: Permanence is God’s intention for the marriage relationship Divorce is permitted on the grounds of sexual immorality and of religious difference (unbeliever) Remarriage is permitted to those who have a biblical basis for divorce because the marriage bond is broken and they are not morally culpable for the divorce Reconciliation is God’s desire after separation and divorce, but is not always possible or safe (wise)

The principles of remarriage: Remarriage is allowed only to those who have biblical grounds for divorce Remarriage is allowed only when reconciliation is not feasible (i.e. not possible, wise or safe) Remarriage must be carefully and prayerfully considered in light of the circumstances involved

The principles of forgiveness: God forgives those who have not lived by His principles (when we ask for it…) Those who are divorced and/or remarried without biblical grounds are not living in adultery if they have sought God’s forgiveness Those are decisions we cannot change We must accept God’s forgiveness, forget the past and live out God’s principles in the future

Some final thoughts: to maximize marriage Requires personal knowledge of God thru Christ Requires walking in the Spirit w/ submission to Him Requires knowing and appreciating God’s design Requires prioritizing my relationship w/ my spouse Requires commitment to God & marriage covenant Recognizes that we live in a fallen world; some fail Recognizes that there are casualties of the choices and failures of others Recognizes that God’s grace extends to all these…