LEARNING ABOUT L.I.F.E. A family-based program on relationships and abuse prevention By Sister Kieran Sawyer, SSND and Kathie Amidei Copyright Proud to Protect, LLC

L I F E LOVE (family love, commitment) INFATUATION (falling-in-love) FRIENDSHIP (peers) E EXPLOITATION (using)

INFATUATION SEXUAL ATTRACTION (FALLING – IN – LOVE)

Early adolescence – a time of change Body Thoughts Interests Desires Feelings

N T HH H+K PK ST SI

LOVE FRIENDSHIP- N T HH H+K PK ST SI MARRIAGE

N T HH H+K PK ST SI

N >>>>>T >>>>>>HH>>>>

L O V E EXPLOITATION SEXUAL ABUSE N >> T>> HH>> H+K>> PK>> ST>> SI EXPLOITATION SEXUAL ABUSE

Why teach you about sexual exploitation and sexual abuse?

So you will know how to avoid being abused So you will know what to do if you are (or have been) abused So you can help a friend who is being (or has been) abused

So you will never be a sexual abuser So you will never falsely accuse someone of sexual abuse

What is a pedophile ?

An adult who uses a child or teen for sexual pleasure is called a This serious disorder is called PEDOPHILIA. PEDOPHILE.

Who might be a sexual abuser?

Relative aunt uncle grandparent cousin Stranger internet user truck driver bus driver shopper Adult Leader teacher coach scout leader priest nun Friend teenager friend of parents neighbor babysitter Family Member father mother brother sister

How does a pedophile operate? How can you get pulled into his/her web?

GROOMING Builds trust yours and your parents’ Gets you alone Gives you alcohol or drugs

Makes promises Gives you presents Plays on your natural curiosity about sex

Shows sexual movies, videos, or pictures Takes sexual pictures Touches you in sexual ways

Forces you to do sexual things Swears you to SECRECY

Threatens to hurt you or someone else if you tell Blames you for what happened

who has been abused sexually? How would a person FEEL who has been abused sexually?

CONFUSED

Good Feelings Bad Feelings Special Excited Loved Grown up Accepted Cared for Scared Embarrassed Ashamed, guilty Hurt Dirty Used

One of the worst side effects of sexual abuse. CONFUSION Good Feelings about sex Bad Feelings about sex One of the worst side effects of sexual abuse.

What does a person who has been (or is being) sexually abused NEED TO KNOW?

Sexual abuse is not your fault. God loves you! You are good. The abuse is bad. Sexual abuse is not your fault.

The wound won’t go away. It will fester if you don’t deal with it. Sexual abuse is like a serious wound that needs to be healed. The wound won’t go away. It will fester if you don’t deal with it.

Talk to someone you trust. Keep talking until you find someone who can help you heal.

What if a friend tells you he or she has been abused?

Support your friend with love and prayer. Help him or her find an ADULT who can help.

Sexual exploitation by young people your age

Young people like you sometimes get involved in sex because of: Curiosity Peer pressure To act grown up To feel powerful Excitement

Some ways young people abuse sex: Making fun of the sexual areas of someone’s body Touching, grabbing, or groping someone’s body Bullying in a sexual way Pressuring someone into doing sexual things Sexting Playing sex games at parties Watching x-rated movies or videos Gossiping about sexual activity; bragging about sex Leading a person along – past their control point Sexual kissing Sexual touching; oral sex Sexual intercourse

Serious personal decisions

Be strong and independent Learn to give and receive love truly and honestly Show respect – for yourself and for others Avoid temptation, exploitation Pray for grace and guidance

PROMISE GOD that you will use the gift of sex ONLY according to God’s plan -- to create and maintain a loving FAMILY.

Parent-child dialogue Review the content of the PowerPoint session: What did your child already know? What new things did he/she learn? What difference will this session make?

Family Love Friendship Infatuation

Developmental tasks of adolescence: Belonging in your family Belonging in your friendship group Being yourself Puberty – a whole new task: Learning to deal with sexual attraction !!!

Your task NOW as a young adolescent is. is to become Your task NOW as a young adolescent is is to become a Person of Character A person of character > KNOWS WHAT IS GOOD (virtue) > WANTS TO DO WHAT IS GOOD > DOES WHAT IS GOOD

Building strong character Family Virtues Respect Sharing Obedience Caring Patience Forgiveness Gratitude Helpfulness

Building strong character Peer-group Virtues Cooperation Compromise Leadership Fair play Wholesome fun Trust Kindness Honesty

Building strong character Personal Virtues Independence Responsibility Integrity, honesty Confidence Courage Self-control Freedom Competence Initiative