Whip around: Compare and Contrast In your notes, compare and contrast your identities At school With your family At work Online With your friends Be prepared to share aloud!

COMMUNICATION AND THE SELF Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. 3 COMMUNICATION AND THE SELF

Our Agenda Understanding the Self: Self-Concept Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Our Agenda Understanding the Self: Self-Concept Valuing the Self: Self-Esteem Presenting the Self: Image Management Communicating the Self: Self-Disclosure

Self-Concept Who are you? Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Concept Who are you? Your self-concept reflects your stable ideas about who you are Your self-concept is your identity

Communication and the Self Self-Concept and Self-Esteem Self-concept The relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself Self-esteem Evaluations of self-worth

Self-Esteem Quiet Shy Loud Argumentative Aggressive Self-controlled

Communication and the Self Self-Concept and Self-Esteem People with high self-esteem Tend to think well of others Expect to be accepted by others High self-esteem doesn’t guarantee interpersonal success Can be starting point for positive behaviors and interactions

Communication and the Self Self-Concept and Self-Esteem People with low self-esteem Likely to disapprove of others Expect to be rejected by others Evaluate their own performance less favorably Perform poorly when being watched Feel threatened by people they view as superior Have difficulty defending themselves against others’ negative comments

Self-Concept Self-concepts are multifaceted Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Concept Self-concepts are multifaceted Self-concepts are partly subjective Self-concepts are enduring but changeable © Stockbyte/PunchStock/Getty Images, RF

Self-Concept Many factors affect our self-concept Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Concept Many factors affect our self-concept Personality and biology Culture and gender roles Reflected appraisal Social comparison

Communication and the Self Biological and Social Roots to the Self Biology and the self Personality is part of our genetic makeup Biology influenced traits Extroversion Shyness Assertiveness Verbal Aggression Willingness to communicate Personality is flexible, dynamic, shaped by experience

OCEAN Openness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is5qoGLgWec Conscientiousness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZSA5r99ii8 Extroversion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMhSxXEbmv8 Agreeableness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q84nfWkLsYU Narcissism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP3xf6BFEIo

Communication and the Self Socialization and the Self-Concept These principles continue in later life especially when messages come from significant others Impact remains strong during adolescence Inclusion in or exclusion from peer groups crucial factor

Communication and the Self Socialization and the Self-Concept Social Comparison Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others Two Types of Comparison Superior or Inferior Same or different from others These comparisons depend on the reference groups we measure ourselves against Significance depends on opinions of others https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc7quH-i_0w

Communication and the Self Characteristics of the Self-Concept Distorted self-evaluations can occur These distortions can be based on: Obsolete information The effects of past failures that linger in your mind Distorted feedback Remarks of overly critical parents, teachers, friends Emphasis on perfection Type A personalities Social expectations We reward people who downplay their strenghts

Communication and the Self The Self-Concept Resists Change Cognitive conservatism Tendency to seek and attend to information that conforms to existing self-concept Tendency holds when new self-perception would be more favorable Can accept new data and change perception or keep original perception and refute new information Most communicators reluctant to downgrade favorable impression of themselves

Communication and the Self The Self-Concept Resists Change Suggestions for embracing a more positive self- image Have a realistic perception of yourself Have realistic expectations Have the will to change Have the skill to change http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U Dove Campaign

Communication and the Self Culture, Gender, and Identity Culture Self shaped by culture in which we have been reared Individualistic culture Strong I orientation Collectivistic culture Maintaining harmony Co-cultural identity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw-HgnZO1js

Communication and the Self Culture, Gender, and Identity Sex and gender Being male or female shapes way others communicate with us and thus our sense of self Self-esteem influenced by gender Sense of self shaped strongly by people with whom we interact and contexts in which we communicate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkTb3Y1CDcA (Jimmy Kimmel)

Self-Concept The Johari Window Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Concept The Johari Window

Self-Concept We manage our self-concepts through self-monitoring Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Concept We manage our self-concepts through self-monitoring Awareness of how we look, sound, and affect others Low self-monitor High self-monitor

Self-Concept Self-fulfilling prophecies can reinforce our self-concept Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Concept Self-fulfilling prophecies can reinforce our self-concept We have expectations based on how we perceive ourselves and others Our expectations prompt us to act in specific ways Those actions bring about the outcomes we expected Our self-concepts are therefore reinforced

Communication and the Self The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication Types of self-fulfilling prophecies Self-imposed prophecies Your own expectations influence your behavior Prophecies imposed by others Shown to be powerful force for shaping self-concept and thus behavior Observer must do more than believe, must communicate belief E.g. teachers at YES Prep or Kipp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR3RyBXY_yg (YES)

Communication as Identity Management Public and Private Selves Identity management Communication strategies people use to influence how others view them Perceived self A reflection of the self concept Presenting self The way we want others to view us Face

NV Group Project Work Time Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. NV Group Project Work Time

Whip Around Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Whip Around Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Your job Location Accomplishments Be prepared to share aloud.

Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Esteem Your self-esteem is your subjective evaluation of your value and worth as a person Can influence social behavior, how you see yourself and others, and school and work performance Affected by culture and sex © Commercial Eye/Stone/Getty Images

Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Esteem We have three fundamental needs with respect to self-esteem: Need for control Need for inclusion Need for affection

Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Image Management Image management means adjusting our behavior to project a desired image Image management is collaborative We manage multiple identities Image management is complex https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aZG4CtXjoY (Botched)

Image Management We manage three face needs Fellowship face Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Image Management We manage three face needs Fellowship face Autonomy face Competence face © Coloroftime/Getty Images, RF

Communication as Identity Management Why Manage Identities? Start and manage relationships Gain compliance of others Save the face of others Explore new selves

Communication as Identity Management Managing Identities in Person and Online Face-to-face identity management Managed in three ways Manner Words and nonverbal actions Setting Physical items we use to influence others Appearance Personal items we use to shape image https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szb0NCuPySY (Easy A)

Communication as Identity Management Managing Identities in Person and Online Online impression management What is missing in online communication can be an advantage Gives us more control over managing impressions Allows strangers to change age, etc. Viewing online presence as neutral third party can be valuable exercise Reputation management

Communication as Identity Management Identity Management and Honesty Managing impressions doesn’t make you a liar Each of us has a repertoire of faces Being a competent communicator is choosing best face for the situation

Justin the Ken Doll Contd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGVrLuMIbdc

Let’s Write! On a sheet of notebook paper, write a paragraph responding to the following questions: What is Justin’s perceived self? What is Justin’s presented self?

Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure is the act of intentionally giving others information about ourselves that we believe to be true but we think they do not already have © Photos 12/Alamy

Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure is intentional and truthful Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure is intentional and truthful Self-disclosure varies in breadth and depth Self-disclosure varies among relationships Self-disclosure is a gradual process

Self-Disclosure Online self-disclosure follows a different pattern Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Disclosure Online self-disclosure follows a different pattern Self-disclosure is usually reciprocal Self-disclosure can serve many purposes Self-disclosure is influenced by cultural and gender roles

Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure has benefits Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure has benefits Enhancement of relationships and trust Reciprocity Emotional release Helping others Catharsis E.g. post secret http://postsecret.com/ © Ralph Nelson/Warner Bros./Courtesy Everett Collection

Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure has risks Rejection Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure has risks Rejection Chance of obligating others Hurt to others Violation of other people’s privacy

Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Self-Disclosure Online self-disclosure has specific challenges and risks Be careful what you say Protect your personal information Think twice before posting photos Don’t say or show something you wouldn’t want shared

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Process of deliberately revealing information about oneself Must be deliberate Must be significant Not known by others

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Models of Self-Disclosure Altman and Taylor – social penetration Breadth of information being volunteered Depth of information volunteered Depending on breadth and depth, relationship can be casual or intimate Measuring depth Some revelations more significant

Encouraging Self-Awareness You have a friend who seems totally lacking in self-awareness – the blind self seems enormous. Assuming that this person wants to increase self- awareness, what are some of your options for helping your friend increase self-awareness without appearing to intrude too much into private matters?

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure Privacy management Choices people make to reveal or conceal information about themselves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPOEmHczkCw

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure Benefits of self-disclosure

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Guidelines for Self-Disclosure Is the other person important to you? Are the amount and type of disclosure appropriate? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? Will the effect be constructive? Is the self-disclosure reciprocated? Do you have a moral obligation to disclose?

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure Silence Lying Benevolent lie Helpful at times to the receiver, unmalicious Equivocating Use an equivocal message to hide actual feelings Hinting

To Disclose or Not You discover that your close friend’s romantic partner of the past two years is being unfaithful. You feel you have an obligation to tell your friend and decide to do so (though you still have doubts that this is the right thing to do). What are some of the choices you have for communicating this information to your friend? What choice seems the most logical for this specific situation?

Quiz 2 You may use your textbook, notes, and PowerPoints. Copyright © 2017 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. Quiz 2 You may use your textbook, notes, and PowerPoints. Answer questions 1-10. Turn into me when you are done.