Nurturing Parenting Program Week 4: Ages & Stages: Expectations and Development of Children; Infant & Toddler Development Facilitator: Alicia Phone: (916) 290-8255 Date/time: M & W 1-3

WELCOME BACK Agreements & Check In Last Week Review Week 4 Competencies Expectations and Development of Children Break Development continued Ted Talk Closing Activities – Home Practice, Praise Circle, Parking Lot if Time allows Borrow from HV

AGREEMENT REVIEW Respect one another Open minded, non judgmental Be on time No cross-talk Be caring and empathetic Confidentiality No cell phones! Participate Remain substance free

“The nurturer creates the nurtured” WELCOME AND CHECK IN “The nurturer creates the nurtured” Something new that happened to me since our last class was __________________. Something that I am looking forward to/something that makes me feel motivated or inspired _____ A positive parenting quality that I have is _____ Attunement Table of Contents

LAST WEEK REVIEW NURTURING AS A LIFESTYLE To “Nurture” means to care for, to bring up, and to nourish. There is no greater parenting practice. As you nurture your children it’s important to nurture yourself. Taking care of your own “self” helps parents nurture their children. The opposite of nurturing is abuse, neglect and violence. Even if your children are not with you right now you can practice nurturing and taking care of yourself. Take this time to go inwards and self-reflect. This will make you a more available parent and human being.

LAST WEEK REVIEW NURTURING PARENTING ACTIVITY The NURTURER or CAREGIVER The NURTURED The part of our personality who is capable of receiving care, seeking closeness & attachments. The part of our personality that is capable of giving care, concern & compassion The PERPETRATOR or BULLY The VICTIM Anything that anyone wants to share related to this activity? The part of our personality who can be cruel, abusive to self and others, is capable of hurting others. Part of our personality who believes the hurt and pain given by others is justifed & valid.

ATTACHMENT AND ATTUNEMENT The bond that begins at birth between parents and their baby forms a positive and close relationship that continues to develop as the child grows older. This is called attachment. Attunement being present and responsive to the child’s needs.

WEEK 4 - COMPETENCIES Parents can identify the negative impact inappropriate expectations can have on children’s development Parents can identify the four primary areas of development in children Parents display positive attachment behaviors toward their infant and toddlers Parents display positive attunement to infant’s and toddler’s needs Parents can identify some developmental milestones of infants and toddlers. Table of Contents

INTRO QUESTIONS: EXPECTATIONS Complete the following statement: One expectation my parents had for me that I did achieve was ______________ and I felt ________________. One expectation my parents had for me that I couldn’t achieve was ____________ and I felt ____________________. Reflecting back on these expectations in my adult life, I feel _____ about them

EXPECTATIONS AND DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN Expectations we have toward our children contribute to their overall feelings of negative or positive self worth. Inappropriate Expectations Diminishes a child’s sense of cooperation, participation and spirit. children cannot please their parents no matter how hard they try. Appropriate Expectations promote a healthy sense of self and communicate encouragement through achievement and effort.

EXPECTATIONS AND DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN Growth and Development is like a spiral going upward from a limited set of skills to more and more advanced skills, as children get older. As children grow, they become more and more capable of doing things for themselves. This skill is called Autonomy. Autonomy and independence are nature’s way of helping all of us survive babyhood and grow to mature adults. The “Terrible two’s” is a term used to describe adults’ resistance to children’s demands to become more autonomous.

EXPECTATIONS AND DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN Referring to autonomy as “terrible” communicates to children that using your personal power to do things for yourself, have your own opinions, decide things for yourself and explore your environment are skills that parents don’t approve of. Instead of speaking aloud, “terrible two’s” let your child know that their growth is terrific! Managing appropriate expectations of children is the first step in developing discipline in a home. What would you do? You are running late to work and your 2 year old son wants to put on his shoes by himself. You try to help him but he refuses your help. How can you respond positively to your child’s emerging autonomy.

EXPECTATIONS AND DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN KEY POINTS Developmental stages are periods of time children grow and learn new things. We are who we are as a result of the relationship between NATURE and NURTURE. There are four kinds of developmental stages: Physical Language Intellectual Social and Emotional Knowing what to expect at various stages of growth is important for children to develop a positive self-concept and self-esteem When inappropriate expectations expectations are placed on children, the children can’t complete the task, and they end up feeling badly about themselves. Parents who place inappropriate developmental expectations on their children encourage them to feel inadequate Nature vs Nurture. The debate of whether children are more influenced by their genetics (nature) or the way they are parented (nurture) is over. We have predispositions like skin color, hair color, gender, etc., but environment can influence these predispositions and how or if they will play out. There are four things we know about child development: All children are pre-disposed with certain characteristics but the brain of young children is still developing All children go through developmental stages with certain tasks and accomplishments needing to be met and move on to the next stage The expectations parents and other adults have for children grossly affects whether childhood will be nourishing experience or not No child is “average” in all areas of growth. Children are unique and each child has their own capabilities. To expect all children in one family to accomplish tasks at the same age in inappropriate.

Be mindful of the noise level BREAK TIME Be mindful of the noise level No smoking within 100 feet of the front door Please return from breaks on time Table of Contents

Physical Development Gross motor and fine motor skills develop as child gets older Examples of Gross motor? Examples of Fine motor? Physical development is important for helping children not only to increase their skills, but organize their behaviors Gross motors: running, throwing, jumping crawling Fine motor: writing, holding fork and knife, using scissors Can you think of ways that you can help your child develop in these areas?

Intellectual Development Children learn more the older they get Learn to recognize shapes and colors, recite the alphabet etc. Stimulation is necessary in order for these intellectual capabilities to occur Can you think of examples?

Language Development As children get older, communication skills increase Language development helps with expression of self and needs Can you think of ways to help this develop?

Social and Emotional Development The way we treat children and the care they receive affect the way they mature and will relate to others

Ted Talk: The Linguistic Genius of Babies MOVIE Ted Talk: The Linguistic Genius of Babies https://www.ted.com/talks/alison_gopnik_what_do_babies_think

CLOSING ACTIVITIES Home Practice List at least one short-term expectation you have for your child List at least one long-term expectation you have for your child List a behavior that you have observed in your child of the four principle areas of development: Physical – Intellectual – Language – Social/Emotional Do something to nurture yourself

COMPETENCY REVIEW Parents can identify the negative impact inappropriate expectations can have on children’s development Parents can identify the four primary areas of development in children Parents display positive attachment behaviors toward their infant and toddlers Parents display positive attunement to infant’s and toddler’s needs Parents can identify some developmental milestones of infants and toddlers.

Don’t forget to sign the attendance sheet CLOSING ACTIVITIES Praise Circle Compliment yourself Compliment someone else Share something you Learned today Don’t forget to sign the attendance sheet

Developing Empathy in Children; NEXT CLASS Developing Empathy in Children; Meeting Our Needs and the Needs of Our Children & Friday, March 24th, 1:00-3:00