Actions Speak Louder Than Words

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Presentation transcript:

Actions Speak Louder Than Words How many have heard this expression? When/where? What does it mean? How is this possible when actions do not “speak?”

Nonverbal Communication “The World Beyond Words” Language is very powerful and important, but we actually get most of our info from nonverbals

What is Nonverbal Communication? Messages expressed without talking Counseling sessions in Spanish Let’s do an experiment in nonverbal cmmu to start us off… Emotions charades. Chocolate! Guess emotions portrayed.

Characteristics/Principles of Nonverbal Communication

All Behavior has Communicative Value Because we “cannot not communicate” Everything you do, people watch it and interpret it. Can be intentional, but is often unconscious We especially pay attention to nonverbals when they contradict verbal communication. Can’t turn off our communication Don’t tend to think about what we’re transmitting Don’t tend to consciously attend to people’s nonverbals We really pay attention when they don’t match verbals (e.g., “What’s wrong?”, “Nothing” but they have clenched fists, are avoiding eye contact, and have tight jaw).

Nonverbal Communication Reflects Cultural Values Some Examples… Space Americans tend to value more personal space than many other cultures Touch Latin Countries tend to touch more Eye-Contact In North-America: frankness, assertiveness, honesty In many Asian and northern-European countries: abrasive & disrespectful Another reason nonverbals are ambiguous is that different cultures have different rules about nonverbals

Deception Nonverbals are under less conscious control, so deception is more likely to be revealed through our nonverbals. High self-monitors and people who have lots of practice in deception are most successful at it. “Deceivers” tend to make more speech errors, to hesitate, to have higher vocal pitch, to fidget, blink their eyes more, and shift their posture more. Deceive others to attain our own goals, to be polite, other various reasons

Different Types of Nonverbal Communication

Face and Eyes What’s might be going on in these 2 pictures? Can you tell what emotions the woman is experiencing? What tells you that?

Proxemics/Kinesics Proxemics- The amount of space that people feel is necessary to set between themselves and others. Kinesics- The study of the way in which certain body movements and gestures serve as a form of nonverbal communication. What are you doing right now? What does your posture suggest? Are you fidgeting? Hunched over or upright, arms crossed or open Raising your hand in class, waving, shrugging, etc. Twirling your hair, rubbing your shoulder An aside… Research on assault Many criminals are good at reading nonverbals Chose victims whose body movement suggested passivity Suggestion: walk confidently, hold your head upright, meet others’ eyes w/o staring, don’t appear unsure or lost, especially if you are.

Proxemics Personal Space Intimate distance Personal distance Social distance Public distance You are here Personal space bubble Intimate (body to 18”) In our personal space, only those who are really close to us – trust Personal (18”-4’) implies intimacy Social (4’-12’) acquaintances, business Public (12’ and beyond) public speaking Barrier behaviors = backing up, putting something between us, breaking eye contact Territory = geographical space belonging to us (your room, your bed, your apartment, etc.) We give more personal space and more territory to people with higher status/more power

Proxemics

Kinesics

Touch Touching is considered essential and therapeutic. Touching can influence liking Is used to show intimacy or power/control

Hospital cuddle programs provide extra comfort for babies — and parents “It’s that human voice, touch and interaction that’s so crucial to support these babies’ development and growth. In fact, research shows that babies who are cuddled regularly in the NICU have shorter hospital stays.”

Alison Krauss - When You Say Nothing At All The smile on your face lets me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall You say it best when you say nothing at all Writers: OVERSTREET, PAUL/SCHLITZ, DON

Voice/Paralanguage Consists of vocal tone, speed, pitch, volume, number and length of pauses, and “um”s, / “ah”s Paralanguage tends to be more powerful than language, it affects how other’s perceive us Stereotyping (accents, vocabulary, grammar)

Silence Can communicate contentment, awkwardness, anger, respect, thoughtfulness, empathy A lot of good can come out of silence (e.g., with counseling) “The silent treatment” as if you’re not there – can be very hurtful

Time/Chronemics Our use of time reflects: Power/status Employees wait on the boss, the boss doesn’t wait on the employees. Cultural norms In Greece a few years ago, I gave up trying to divine when I should return my rental car. My inquiries, always, drew the same response: "Whenever you like."

Time/Chronemics In Mexico, guests invited to a 6 p.m. social dinner think nothing of showing up two or three hours later, said Terri Morrison, who is updating a 1995 guide she co-wrote called, "Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands: How to Do Business in More Than Sixty Countries," for release next year.

Time/Chronemics In Switzerland, the land of watches, trains really do run like clock work. "If I'm 30 seconds late, the train is gone." Step across the border, and you're in a different universe, Italy has two rail schedules: one printed and another, flashing updates, on a board in the station. The first may be a fantasy; the second, reality.

Appearance What you wear How you look Your environment Communicates economic, social, and educational level. How you look We notice the obvious first Your environment Who/what you surround yourself with