SERVING THE NEEDS OF MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO ARE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

WHAT ARE THE MYTHS? Alcohol, drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence. It never Happens to Men! Some people “ask” for it! It does not really happen very often It mostly happens in low income families.

What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is the use of assaultive and / or coercive behaviors, used by adults or adolescents against their intimate partners What does this mean? How might these things manifest? DV occurs when a an intimate partner, family member, partner, or ex partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. It is important to note that DV can take place between cohabitants of a home, and/or non-married intimate partners. This is why, back in 2004, persons were so upset about Issue 1 – the language left out non-married individuals, who also experience DV. It has since been rectified. 3

TYPES OF ABUSE Physical Emotional Sexual Financial

VICTIM AND OFFENDER WHO IS THE VICTIM WHO IS THE OFFENDER

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

CONTINUUM OF ABUSE

Abuse is both a continuum and a cycle. Usually begins with verbal/emotional abuse/financial, and moves into physical, sexual, and deadly violence. Oftentimes, victims have been the recipients of non-physical abuse for some time prior to the first physical explosion. Power and Control Exercise….

CONTINUUM OF LEAVING

WHY VICTIMS STAY Easier Fear Love Children Finances Shame Stigma Other Reasons??

IMPACT ON CHILDREN THE GENERATIONAL CYCLE Children learn to be adults from parents Children learn morals and values from parents Children grow up exhibiting the same problem solving skills as parents Boys who watch their fathers hit their mothers are more likely to hit their own partners or spouses. Girls who watch their fathers hit their mothers are more likely to tolerate, excuse, minimize or expect to be hit by their partners or spouses

WHAT MUST IT BE LIKE?

Results of Growing Up With DV School, Risky behavior Self esteem Health Social Emotional

SCHOOL more likely to drop out of school and fail to graduate. college attendance rates are lower miss class 30 percent more school more likely to have behavioral problems tend to have even higher degrees of behavioral problems

RISKY BEHAVIOR much more likely to develop habits of smoking, drug use, and alcohol consumption more likely to run away tend to become more sexually active much more likely to get pregnant Studies show that teens may turn to sexual behavior as a way to gain acceptance and compensate for a supportive and nurturing family

HEALTH PROBLEMS There is strong evidence that children growing up in dysfunctional households often suffer from long-term health problems including cancer, heart disease, anxiety disorders and early death Some teens may develop sleeping and eating disorders and fall into depression as a consequence

SOCIAL INTERACTIONS often do not learn how to solve problems with others and tend to overact to minor threats tend to use denial and aggression as solutions and blame others for their problems become more aggressive and violent will try to keep their lives at home a secret in an attempt to fit in with their peers can result in teens being unable to make trusting, lasting relationships, and it results in a high probability of their ending up in violent relationships themselves.

EMOTIONAL TURMOIL can cause a teenager to feel lonely and isolated may feel pushed into adulthood at an early age and must face larger responsibilities in caring for siblings. can greatly decrease an adolescent's self-esteem the quality of parent-child relationships can directly influence a child's self-confidence may have conflicts of loyalty toward one parent over the other and withdraw from both parents

AND THE OTHER FAMILY MEMBER

HOW TO HELP SOMEONE IN NEED? GET THEM TO REACH OUT FOR HELP Go with the person to a support group Dial the hotline number for them Provide some information Tell them you heard this talk DO NOT TRY TO BE THE SOCIAL WORKER OR SHELTER HELP WITH SAFETY PLANNING

HOW CAN BWS HELP? SHELTERS COURT ADVOCATES FAMILY STABILITY CHILDREN WHO WITNESS VIOLENCE OUTREACH

Least Invasive – Most Invasive Outreach Hotline Support Groups Legal Advocacy Family Stability Crisis Shelter Transitional Shelter Scattered Site Housing

HOW CAN YOU HELP? BECOME A VOLUNTEER DONATIONS OF HOTLINE YARD WORK OFFICE WORK CHILD INTERACTIONS DONATIONS OF GENTLY USED HOUSEHOLD ITEMS CLEANING SUPPLIES FRESH OR BOXED FOODS MEAT PAPER GOODS (TOILET PAPER, PAPER TOWELS)

HOW CAN YOU HELP? ADOPT A FAMILY DURING THE HOLIDAYS BECOME A FINANCIAL DONOR COMMIT TO MAKING MONTHLY DONATIONS AT THE TIME YOU PAY YOUR BILLS MAKE A DONATION IN HONOR OF A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER HOST A PARTY AND TAKE DONATIONS ENCOURAGE YOUR KIDS TO PLAN A SPECIAL EVENT RAISING MONEY FOR THE SHELTER