Relationships and risky behavior Understanding the human person Decision making Communication skills

The Human Person 1487 Leonardo DiVinci 2009 Mr. Gatto

The Human Person Physical Physical : The body is the physical structure which houses us. It grows and matures more quickly than the rest of our person.

The human person Intellectual Intellectual: The human person thinks about issues and ideas and makes decisions about his life. Humans have an intellect and will- the ability to choose

The human person Ethical Ethical: All persons must face the questions concerning good and bad, right and wrong. They must live their life accordingly and develop a moral code.

The Human Person Social: Each person is part of a community. He learns to interact with others, develop friendships and work to benefit others as well as himself.

The human person Emotional- Emotions (feelings) permeate our whole person. The mature person is one who controls his emotions.

The human person The human person should always be considered as a whole, never in parts. Consider how making the right decisions about risky behavior can be easier, more responsible, and more adult-like when all parts are considered.

Relationships/dating Healthy relationships- Make people happier Ease stress Include sharing /talking Include self care Use fair fighting techniques Unhealthy relationships Couples are mean to each other Couples are disrespectful One person is more controlling than the other Involve physical, verbal, emotionally abusive behavior

Six Keys to a healthy relationship Communication Express thoughts and feelings, both verbal and non verbal Be a good listener

Six Keys to a healthy relationship Commitment Sticking to your promises or agreements Being loyal, reliable, and faithful through good times and bad

Six Keys to a healthy relationship Self control Controlling feelings Speaking and acting calmly even when you are upset Doing what is expected of you

Six Keys to a healthy relationship Compatibility Suffering, bearing, enduring, and tolerating together in bad times as well as good times Not simply having things in common

Six Keys to a healthy relationship trustworthiness Being worthy of trust, can be counted on Keeping your word even though you don’t feel like it

Six Keys to a healthy relationship Love A choice and daily decision, not based solely on feelings Caring for someone deeply even though your feelings may not be returned Sacrifice commitment

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Loving and taking care of yourself before and while in a relationship You care for and focus on the other person only and neglect yourself You care for and focus on only yourself and not the other person

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Respecting individuality, embracing differences, and allowing each person to “be themselves” You feel pressure to change to meet the other person’s standards, you are afraid to disagree and your ideas are criticized.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Respecting each others need for privacy You don’t have any personal space and have to share everything with the other person

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Sharing sexual histories ad sexual health status with a partner Your partner keeps their sexual history a secret or hide a std from you

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Practicing safer sex methods You feel scared of asking your partner to use protection or they refused your requests for safer sex

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Respecting sexual boundaries and being able to say no to sex Your partner forces you to have sex or you force your partner to have sex

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Resolving conflicts in a rational peaceful and mutually agreed upon way One or both of you yells and hits, shoves or throws things at the other in an argument

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships There is room for positive growth and you learn more about each other as you develop and mature You feel stifled, trapped and stagnant. You are unable to escape the pressures of the relaitonship

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Doing things with friends and family and having activities independent of each other One of you has to justify what you do and where you go, and who you see

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Discussing things, allowing for differences of opinion, and compromising equally One of you makes all the decisions and controls everything without listening to the other’s input

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Expressing and listening to each others’ feelings, needs and desires. One of you feels unheard and is unable to communicate what you want

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships Trusting and being honest with yourself and each other You lie to each other and find yourself making excuses for the other person

Communication Fair fighting techniques Cessation skills- how to say no and regain self control

Communication Essential for creating and maintaining healthy relationships. Creating- provides a solid foundation for the relationship to be built on. Maintaining- keeps relationship solid and fresh when bad times occur.

Communication components Take the time- Good communication cannot happen if both partners don’t take time for each other to talk about their day, get things off their chest, discuss relationship concerns.

Genuinely Listen Good communication involves good listening skills. Don’t interrupt conversation. Don’t look in another direction. Maintain eye contact.

Listen With your ears and your heart. Sometimes people have emotional questions, respond with emotional answers.

Ask questions Show interest in what the other person is saying. Educate yourself as to what they are talking about by asking questions and ask for opinions. Ask to clarify a statement or concern that your partner has.

Share information Sharing information helps relationships begin. It provides couples with the opportunity to “market” themselves. They disclose turn on’s, turn off’s, hobbies, and special interests to the other person. Key: Don’t give up too much, too soon.

Fair Fighting Negotiate a time to talk about your concern- don’t have conversations when you are angry, tired, or in public. Ask when a good time to talk would be because something is bothering you..

Fair Fighting Don’t criticize- Open sensitive conversations with “I”. Don’t open with “you” statements. Good Example- “I” feel like am being ignored when we are together with your friends. Bad Example- “You” ignore me when we are around your friends.

Fair Fighting Don’t assign feelings! Each person has the right to explain themselves, their mood, or behavior. Example- “You” only get that way when you are tired, or sick.

Fair Fighting Stay with the topic- Healthy relationships involve discussion of “now” topics. Don’t bring up problems from the past to fuel arguments that are happening now.

Fair Fighting Say I’m Sorry when you are wrong. People in healthy relationships are able to admit their mistakes.

Fair Fighting There may not be a resolved ending. Arguments may come to agreements that may not be perfect. Healthy relationships involve compromise even when you disagree.

Fair Fighting Don’t hold grudges. Staying angry and holding grudges against your partner will only drain your energy. The more good you see in your partner, the healthier the relationship.

Fair Fighting You can leave a relationship. You can choose to move out of a relationship. Get out of a relationship if you feel: Stifled Trapped Smothered Controlled Victim of abuse

Healthy relationships Involve respecting sexual boundaries, ability to say no to sex and other risky behaviors. Cessation skills- are guidelines to help refrain from a particular risky behavior, including sex, and regain self control.

Cessations skills 1. Give reasons for your decision- Want to feel more self-respect instead of feeling used. It strains my relationship with my friends and/or family. Health risks are too high. Never really know the sexual history of another person.

Cessation skills 2. Reinforce the decision by your behavior. Avoid places and people that cause you to slip. Use body language that gives a strong “no” message. Don’t flirt with the unhealthy behavior and think you’re strong enough to be tempted early in your decision.

Cessation skills 3. Plan Alternatives- Associate with friends who will support your healthy behavior. Begin exercising. Discuss other ways of finding pleasure or seeking a “high” that are healthy and positive.

Cessation skills 4. Stick to your decision to change. Be assertive when you are pressured. Use self-control when you are pressured. Point out the problems that others have who are engaging in unhealthy behavior. Keep in mind the responsibility you have as a son/daughter living at home. Respect yourself and demand respect from others.

Mature adulthood Is characterized by respect and concern for self and for others! Requires self-control and responsibility! Demands recognition of the human being model and it’s use in decision making! True love is a goal of mature adulthood and never puts another person at risk- emotionally, physically, or morally!