Change the impulse

You’re minding your own business and suddenly someone says something unkind to you in the corridor or in the dinner queue – What do you do?

If it’s systematic and repeated and they’re serious about hurting you, then, yes, it’s bullying, so tell a teacher immediately. If it’s just a casual bit of random, thoughtless unkindness or some weird attempt to have fun, then here are some tools that you can use to deal with it in a way that will make things better not worse. If we all learn these tools and use them, then gradually the corridors and the dinner queues will become much nicer places to be.

Think Positive - 1 Think Positive - think friendly. How? Start by asking yourself why people are doing this…? NB Bullying is different. Report it.

It's okay. They don't mean any harm. They think they're being funny. They're just mucking around

practise practise practise Your power … Your turn – practise practise practise Your power …

Think Positive - 2 Reassure yourself How? Think about your real self, you at your best. Remember tough times that you came through, good things that you did. Tell yourself something reassuring.

It doesn't have to get me down. There's more to me than what you see. Stuff happens. It doesn't have to get me down. There's more to me than what you see. I'm cool. I can handle this.

practise practise practise Your power … Your turn – practise practise practise Your power …

Think Positive – 3 Distract yourself Think about your favourite music, food, stuff you like, the nice people in your life, your pet if you have one ... Go through the alphabet - each letter, another nice thing...

What’s in your favourites alphabet? A – apple juice B - bicycle C – D..... … … … … … W - ... ... X – X-Factor Y - YouTube Z - ZMovies …A…? …B…? …C…? What’s in your favourites alphabet?

practise practise practise Your power … Your turn – practise practise practise Your power …

Body Positive Body language - Firm voice Think: Calm and relaxed look the other person in the eye head up shoulders at ease straight back Firm voice Think: Calm and relaxed Be: Calm and relaxed

practise practise practise Your power … Your turn – practise practise practise Your power …

Talk Positive - 1 Say what’s good and what’s true

Y'know what? It doesn't matter. We're all okay just as we are. Does the way I look bother you? I think it's okay for me to be me.

practise practise practise Your power … Your turn – practise practise practise Your power …

Talk Positive 2 - Fogging Pupil A - Hey, wart-zone, was your father a toad? Pupil B - Excuse me, is there a problem? Pupil A - The aliens have landed!!! Pupil B - I'm sorry, I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.

practise practise practise Your power … Your turn – practise practise practise Your power …

the end

References (1) Ditch the Label 2015 Survey http://www.ditchthelabel.org/the-annual-bullying-survey-2015-is-here/ (2)Kish, V. & Lansdown, R. (2000) ‘Meeting the psychosocial impact of facial disfigurement – Developing a clinical service for children and families’, Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry, 5 (4). 497-512 (3) Bull, R. and Rumsey, N. (1988) The Social Psychology of Facial Appearance New York: Springer-Verlag (4) Government Equalities Office (2013) Body image: evidence, policy, action. Report of a multidisciplinary academic seminar, Page 7. Dove (2014) Reframing beauty: unlocking the potential of young girls, Page 8. (5) Government Equalities Office (2013) Body image: evidence, policy, action. Report of a multidisciplinary academic seminar, Page 7. (6) Policy and Herman (2004) Sociocultural idealisation of thin female body shapes: An introduction to the special issues on body image and eating disorders, Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology. (7) Cohane and Pope (2001) Body image in boys: a review of the literature, The International Journal of Eating Disorders in Government Equalities Office (2013) Body image: evidence, policy, action. Report of a multidisciplinary academic seminar, Page 6. Carr and Szymanski (2010) Sexual objectification and substance abuse in young adult women, The Counselling Psychologist. Van den Berg and Neumark-Sztainer (2007) Fat’n Happy 5 years later: is it bad for overweight girls to like their bodies? Journal of Adolescent Health in Government Equalities Office (2013) Body image: evidence, policy, action. Report of a multidisciplinary academic seminar, Page 5. (8) Lovegrove, E (2002) ‘Adolescents, appearance and anti-bullying strategies’, Ph.D. Thesis, University of the West of England.