Parent-Child Relationships Historical / Cultural Perspective

Looking Back Family is primarily an economic unit throughout history Family size and structure greatly determined by availability of resources For the most part, a monogamous nuclear family has been present in many cultures throughout history Function of Monogamy – controlled childbirth

A Look at the Past Upper Classes – Europe Purpose for having children  carry on the family name Children were usually raised by a surrogate mother who would breast feed them and teach them. At school age  boarding school Families greatly controlled who their child married – preserve estate and name

Lower Classes Children  expected contribute to family’s production Raised by mother Children would accompany same-sex parent to work/chores  contribute to family’s production at an early age Children were valued for their contribution to the family income

Aboriginal Families: Hunter-Gather  division of labour based on sex Children highly valued by society provided valuable labour In agriculturally based aboriginal societies  families were nuclear in structure Women and children responsible for agriculture – men & boys responsible for hunting and protection Family Structure / Role of Children Spousal interdependence  lack of hierarchy Children highly valued / loved Corporal punishment for children forbidden

Impact of Europeans on Aborigninal Society Change in way of life  Hunt for profit, not subsistence Systems theory  change in way of life  change in role and status of women & children Patriarchy (male dominance and control) begins to emerge De-valuing of women and children created conflict and role confusion in Aboriginal communities Intermarriages between Europeans and Aboriginals occurred  temporary in nature

Agricultural Communities women & children economic necessity Women share relatively equal role with husbands Labour of children necessary for production Extended families common children also valued for their role in looking after elderly parents School  not compulsory Upper-class boys  formal education Farm girls  basic literacy Children often sent away to apprentice for trade In Canada, pre-1920, women and children had no legal rights  property & responsibility of husband

Impact of Industrialization: Change in production: small farms  large commercial farms & industry  change in family structure  work for hourly wages instead of being self-sufficient Change in technology labour laws & wages in late 1800’s (Family Wages)  women & children no longer needed for production  change in roles:

Evidence of Change 1891 – 13.8% of children between 11-14 were employed 1921 – 3.2 % of children employed Women remained at home  provide a nurturing environment for family Men  earn family income  no longer involved in child raising Roles now determined by gender  sex-role stereotypes

Change in role of children Children no longer had extended contact with parents – children go to school Notion of childhood as distinct stage of development emerges Children no longer expected to care for younger siblings – pursue individual interests

Childbearing in Canada Today

Factors Affecting The Decision to Have Children Birth rates have declined sharply since their peak in the early 1960s. Why? Canadian social system has changed Social norms regarding sex roles Women now work at virtually the same rate as men Attitudes towards marriage and cohabitation Divorce Contraception has improved These changes lead to changes in attitudes towards having children In past – unreliable contraception meant having children was virtually inevitable for married couples Also, children are no longer valued for their economic contribution

Result of Changes Couples and individuals no have children for personal fulfillment BUT children are now economic liablities Turn to page 305 – 306 – how much does it cost to raise a child today? Answer: about $155,611 (probably over $200,000 today, depending upon post-secondary education) As a result, fewer couples are having children, and those that are are having fewer.

The Transition to Parenthood: Transition to parenthood → one of the most significant in life Family Life Cycle → parenthood is a major normative event (crisis) Developmental tasks: Accept new member Couple must adjust their relationships expectations Accept new role → responsibilities and norms Change in self-image New role → primary care-giver Division of household tasks and jobs

Impact of Parenthood Marital satisfaction decreases → couple time is reduced, fatigue, lack of privacy as children mature Lack of time is identified as single biggest complaint of new parents Financial stresses → children bring significant additional costs! (see chart on page 305 & 306) How much does it cost to raise a child? Answer: $155,000 (Closer to $200,000 today)

Parent-Child Relationships: Attachment Theory Infant attachment to primary caregiver essential for normal child development Erik Erikson – 1st stage of development: Trust vs. Mistrust Infants are utterly dependent – trust is based on dependability and care Trust – feel safe and secure in world & with parents Mistrust – develops when care is neglectful and/or caregiver is emotionally unavailable Results in fear and feelings of insecurity

Associated Characteristics of Caring Parent: “Doting” mother Father with positive work-family boundaries Work demands do not override family commitments Parents are involved and available physically & emotionally

Characteristics of Trusting Child seek out primary caregivers in stressful situations better adjusted later in life higher self-confidence and self-esteem better able to meet challenges of outside world likely to be socially competent better able to make transition from dependence to autonomy

Insecurely attached infants Do not feel secure in their parent’s love Non-involved fathers Absent mothers – both emotionally and physically Characteristics of insecurely attached infants: avoid or resist parents in stressful situations may remain socially and emotionally underdeveloped into adulthood difficulty with trust, self-esteem, empathy feelings of hostility, separation, aggression, low self-confidence

Parenting Styles Authoritative Warmth, support, acceptance, indirect positive control of children Consequences for behaviour are logical and realistic Unconditional love Children are well adjusted psychologically (children learn to accept their own feelings and control their own behaviour, think independently) Have better self-concept

Parenting Styles Authoritarian Stricter parental control, use of physical and psychological punishment Children tend to have more problems with psychological adjustment Children learn love is conditional  feel rejected by parents High risk for sexual promiscuity, drug abuse & suicide

Parenting Styles Permissive Few rules, children controlling family situations No recognized structure, rules or guidelines for behaviour Punishment and rewards are arbitrary and inconsistent Second chances frequent, threats and bribes are common Warm and encouraging permissive parents  children tend to be irresponsible, impulsive, immature Hostile and rejecting parents  children tend to be flighty, anxious, emotionally impoverished High risk for sexual promiscuity, drug abuse & suicide